I Have it on Good Authority that Fudge and Vern are Spoiled!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Apparently, my dogs are spoiled.  My sister-in-law was here from Tennessee last weekend and said it quite frequently.  It started when we went out to dinner the first night she was here.  Our ritual when we leave the house is to put out peanut butter for Fudge and Vern, turn on a fan, and leave the TV on for them.  My daughter usually gets the peanut butter for the dogs and has a tendency to give them more than the recommended serving size.  Of course, on this day she served up her usual fare of peanut butter to the dogs without a care in the world regarding fat content, the fact that an “outsider” was watching, or with any consideration that if peanut butter prices go much higher we might make her get a part time job holding a Little Caesar’s $5.00 pizza sign up on the highway to pay for the next couple of jars.

My sister-in-law jumped on the chance to tell us that Weight Watchers would not approve and Fudge and Vern would be over their point limit in one day.  I mean, come on, Weight Watchers is for people and everyone knows Fudge and Vern are dogs.  Just because I made sure to leave The New Adventures of Old Christine on for them, because I know that is one of their favorite shows, does not mean they are spoiled or that I think they are humans.

 

The next day I was talking to my daughter in Oregon and told her we were eating one of my homemade chicken casseroles that night and she said, “make sure to have some Tums on hand and a back-up restaurant plan on the off chance your dinner tanks,” and then the little brat laughed.  We did have one scary moment when my sister-in-law said I should have covered the casserole while cooking because the noodles were rock hard the first time she checked on it in the oven.  I started jumping up and down and yelled, “Oh goody, now we can go out to dinner and we don’t have to eat that crappy casserole,” but then she went on and told everyone how she covered it up and thought it would be fine. WTD?  I wanted to smack her up side her head and say, “in this house, when a meal gets screwed up, no one tries to fix it, we just go out to dinner,” but I figured that casserole would speak volumes.  

 

If that wasn’t enough, my husband told me he would like a salad and I had to find the bag of Dole lettuce in the refrigerator and open it and pour it into a bowl.  Sure enough, my sister-in-law started telling us that when she makes a salad at home, she adds eggs, chicken, and other fun stuff and before I knew what hit me, my husband looked up from his salad and said, “do we have any feta cheese to add to the salad?”  This is why we do not entertain, because mediocre dinners have been fine up until this point, and I don’t want one of these Rachael Ray types coming over and telling him she adds a little Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar to her Sloppy Joes to spice them up and pretty soon, Manwich is not good enough for my specialty dish.  He is just going to be disappointed in the end.  Anyway, I knew I had to nip this in the bud and regain control of my household, so right in the middle of mixing up Fudge and Vern’s food with the sweet potato I had just lovingly baked for them, I said, “do I look like the lady behind the counter at Salad Works?” 

From the looks I got, you would have thought I was serving Fudge and Vern wine in a Waterford wine glass and caviar from my best china because my sister-in-law could not believe they were eating a sweet potato.  I tried to explain about the DoodleKisses food group, home cooking, toppings, and how fruits and vegetables are good for dogs, but she just kept shaking her head and saying, “unbelievable,” but in the same way someone says, “this jacket is going to feel tight at first, but it helps keep you very still while the doctor examines you.”

The day we took the dogs on the pontoon boat with us, everything started out great.  I had mentioned the dogs had their assigned seats, but I was willing to bend the rules for company.  Vern treated my sister-in-law like the scary Librarian we all remember from school that shushed us in the library.   When she told him to sit, Vern sat immediately and tried not to even blink his wide eyes for fear it would draw further attention.

Fudge was not as intimidated and would let her know she might consider sitting, but wanted to weigh all her other options first.  Since my sister-in-law did not want to swim anywhere if she could see any fish we drove around for a while trying to find the perfect place to anchor in the water.  I was fine with looking for a fish free zone or pretending there was one, because the day before whenever she spotted a fish, my husband would swim up behind me and pinch me and say, “looks like a Groper Fish is in the water.”  At first it was funny and I would shout, “Holy Mackerel!” when he did it, but then it started to get more annoying and finally I said, “please leave my big bass alone or I am going to start pinching your rockfish.”

Finally, we located a great spot and dropped anchor. We swam in the water and the dogs finally got the hang of the dog ramp, which made being in the water so much more enjoyable. 

My sister-in-law gets sick on the boat if we are not moving, so after swimming, we had to pull up anchor pretty quickly and hit the road, so to speak, which made it harder for me to put Fudge and Vern’s robes on them.  I was smart enough to know, however, if I said I was having trouble getting their robe belts just right with the boat moving and could we stop for a minute and really how sick could anyone get in just a couple of minutes, someone would tell everyone that my dogs are spoiled and I love them best.  It would just lead to hard feelings and I know from experience when I have said to my daughter, “that is no way to talk about your brother and sister and especially when they can hear you,” she tends to get agitated and responds back that she is a human being and they are dogs. For the sake of peace, I did the best I could with the robe belts and whispered to Fudge and Vern that I was sorry there were sick people and grumps on board who didn’t understand dog fashion.  Pictures were taken of the dogs in their robes and the word “crazy” was bandied about, and I have a feeling it will be a topic of discussion on our next family vacation.

I spend a great deal of my time on and off the boat hugging my doodles and talking to them.   I tell them all the time they are my best friends and nothing makes me happier than seeing them wag their tails in response.  Not everyone gets that, and that is fine with me.  I asked my sister-in-law several times if she wanted to throw her arms around my Doodles and be the filling in a Doodle Sandwich and all she said was, "not in this lifetime."  Don't get me wrong, she liked Fudge and Vern, but she was never going to throw her arms around them and say, "get ready for some kisses!" and smooch on them until someone in the room asked you her to stop.  Not that I know anyone who does that, but I am just giving an example to better explain their relationship. Someone said once there are people who don't like dogs, people who like dogs, and people who love dogs and then there is my category, people who cannot imagine life without a dog and are nuts/nutty about their dogs.  Not everyone wants to be the filling in a Doodle sandwich, but I do, and since Fudge and Vern belong to me that is all that counts.  Oh, and don’t tell anyone, but Fudge and Vern MAY be spoiled.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Jennifer!!

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Hi Laurie! This is too cute! So everyone (most everyone) loves the new boat! they look adorable in the water and the robes are a must! Assigned seating cracked me up! That's why nobody comes to visit at our house, they "think" we have crazy dogs-or is that we are crazy? Not sure, but spoiled is not a problem unless your name is Ceasar. I love being the filling of a doodle sandwich.

OH...Nobody wan'ts me to cook either! Fine with me:)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Leslie, They only complain if I forget to put their robes on after swimming :) LOL

[Leslie and Halas]

Of course they are spoiled!  That's half the fun of having them!  It sounds like they complain less than your SIL, which automatically makes them better companions, and more deserving of spoiling.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lia, You are welcome :) Hopefully, Pippa will fly through her surgery and be home soon and back to daycare in no time. Good luck!

[Lia & Pippa]

Thanks for writing this blog post. The pictures of the pups in their robes (I didn't know they made doggy robes) and life jackets made me laugh. I need some distraction this morning...I dropped Pippa off to be spayed. Hopefully soon she will be back to splashing in the pool at daycare. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Anna!

[Anna and Achilles]

All sounds normal to me!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Bonnie, Didn't we all? LOL

[Bonnie and Kona]

I started drinking the DK kool aid the first time I came onto this site, Laurie... 

Denise, I am so sorry you have been in the hospital. I hope Hunter spends lots of time lovingly caring for you. Of course she can understand what you are saying to her. Besides 13 years old is a very difficult age for mother's to cope with (IMHO). I wanted to freeze my kids at every age because I thought they were so wonderful... until they hit 13. I was ready to race through that year. It does get better. I promise.