Well, I Spoke Too Soon!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My husband and I look bad this week, almost like we have been in a catfight.  We are sore and cranky and putting all the blame on one Chocolate Labradoodle named Fudge. 

It started on Saturday morning.  I got up with the dogs and went out and plopped down on the sofa.  When my daughter woke up, the dogs got very excited and started wrestling.  Vern jumped up on the couch with us and all of a sudden, Fudge leaped onto the sofa and landed smack dab on top of my chest.   I am pretty sure I will be sporting an imprint of her paw on my chest for awhile and I told my daughter I see a future entry in the Guinness Book of World Records as the only woman who has one breast in front and one in back.   I could tell my daughter was very worried by the way she said, “Just promise me if you can’t find a bra, you will not walk around braless.” 

My daughter was having a friend over to go out on the boat with us, so my husband and I left early to get the cover off and take the dogs for a walk and then they were going to meet us over at the boat.  I was concerned about Vern having a new person on the boat, but he quickly figured out if she was our daughter’s friend then she was all right with him.  Everything was going fine….Fudge was seated on my lap…Vern wasn’t peeing himself every time the new person spoke to him…until Fudge spotted a flock of geese in the water and decided to leap up and forward to get a better look and gave me a big, fat lip.

Luckily, I had a hold of the handle on her life vest or I do believe Fudge would have jumped off the boat to get to those geese.  On land, she barely glances at them, but in the water seems to be a whole different story.  No matter, I am now walking around with a fat lip and an inverted breast.  The rest of the day passed uneventfully, which brings us to the worst day of all, Sunday.

 

My husband went to Home Depot and to get gas for the boat. After a couple of hours, I began to worry that he had gone to Ohio to get the gas and called him only to find out he was at the boat and someone was there to do a Safety Inspection and he wanted us to meet him over there.  My dogs have started something new in the car. They like to bark at other dogs as we go by and I hate it.  My trainer had given me a small air horn to use if another strange dog approaches, but I opened that horn and at the first bark in the car, I “horned” them. 

The horn has stopped Fudge from barking, but not Vern.  The horn is loud enough to wake the dead, so you can only imagine how wonderful it would be to be walking your dog and have a blue van approach you with a woman inside screaming “NO!” and honking a horn, one dog continuing to bark, and the loud horn going off again.  I am surprised someone has not dropped dead of fright right in front of my van and then I would have a major fiasco on my hands as I tried to find my phone to dial 911, all the while honking my horn at two dogs, now barking at someone lying in the road, clutching their chest and holding a dog on a leash.  I do try and use discretion when honking the horn and opted not to use it when we passed a group of horses with riders for fear I would cause a stampede.

I only had to use the horn once on the way to the dock on Sunday, but I was hopeful my husband heard me coming and would be waiting to help me with the dogs and all the stuff I had to carry.  No such luck. I could see him on the pontoon and I waved, jumped around, and even yelled his name once, but he must have turned off his Selective Hearing aids because he didn’t move. 

I walk my dogs on prong collars, but because Fudge had the choking episode and the vet had been concerned about an obstruction, she wanted me to use a harness for seven days.  Luckily, I had a Walk Your Dog with Love harness at home and that is what we have been using.  The first day, I used the collar I thought it was a godsend. Either Fudge was too weak from her four hours at the ER vet or the new collar felt weird to her, but she did not pull at all.  By day two, that had all changed and either I have the collar on wrong, Fudge had regained her energy, or she realized that pulling against the harness gave her super dog strength, because now we call it the Walk Your Dog with Cuss Words collar. 

Nevertheless, I had to get to the boat, so off we went and I was grateful when my husband finally saw me and came out and took Fudge.  Our inspection went well, and once again Fudge and Vern were wonderful with the inspector and Vern, especially, made me proud because new people are hard for him and we were in a very confined space and he never even barked and sat right beside her.  The only glitch, so far, was when someone with a dog (a Goldendoodle puppy) walked by our boat and Fudge reacted and Vern acting on her energy barked, too. 

 

Finally, we got going and it was a perfect day.  We found an island with no one there, beached the boat, and let the dogs get in the water.  We wanted to try out our dog ramp which required one of us get in the water to guide them up the ramp.  The other person in the boat did not volunteer, so even though the water was still very cold, I got in to help. Neither dog likes to jump into the water.  Fudge can be lowered into the water by her life vest, but Vern is too heavy. We also don’t think the ramp is going to work for Vern because of his size. We did the ramp a couple of times with Fudge and I had the bright idea to let her off her leash and I said and I quote, “there is no where she can go.”  Meanwhile, Vern would not jump off the back end of the boat, so I was encouraging him to just walk in and swim to me.  This is where it all went wrong.  Something about the water and Vern being in it amps Fudge up and she takes on the role of a dominatrix.  

We have been correcting her, but on this day, all of a sudden she jumped out of the back seat and onto the land.  This is a dog that won’t jump up on the bed without help and rarely jumps down and she cleared at least eight feet without batting an eye and took off like a bat out of hell into the densest, most impossible to penetrate area of land you could imagine.  Vern started to follow, but came immediately back when called. Not Fudge. 

 

My husband had no shirt on and ran into those briars after her and instructed me to take the only small path we could find, which I did with Vern.  It is a testament to how much I love Fudge that I went into the woods without a concern for snakes.  We searched in panic for at least an hour and still no Fudge.  Finally, I heard my husband yell he had her and then both of us got slightly lost trying to make our way back to the boat.  I kid my husband all the time about watching Daniel Boone, but he said he actually looked for signs of shrubs, etc. being disturbed and tracked her that way and found her on the other side of a briar bush and she came to him. His back, arms, and shoulders are all torn up and I could kick myself for letting her off her leash.  I knew better.

We have never had a dog like Fudge. Vern is so exceptionally good on that boat and is a joy to have with you, but we have to be so watchful with Fudge.  I don’t know if you want to call it her prey drive, but she is on constant alert for anything that moves and I really believe she would follow her nose wherever it leads.  It seems to be getting worse and never in a million years did we imagine she would jump off the boat.  We are implementing new rules on the boat and she will never be off leash again and we are going back to square one with the come command.  Both of us are discouraged, but this was my fault and could have ended very badly because of my stupidity.  kOn Sunday, my husband was my hero and later when we were out to dinner and he was drinking a beer he said, “If we hadn’t found Fudge, the thought of her being lost and alone in those woods would be more than I could bear,” and I knew exactly how he felt.

 

P.S.  I keep telling myself, there are no bad dogs, only bad dog trainers, but I don’t usually like to take the blame for anything, so I am working on a new slogan.  I think I like, If life hands you a reactive, prey driven, naughty little lemon Chocolate Doodle, don't sit around making lemonade, make lemon cupcakes, and bring them on the boat with you along with an extra strong dog leash.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Hmmmmm..... I think Ned and I should have a talk.  Perhaps goofy Clancy could provide the distraction while Ned grabs the moola.  hmmmmm

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I would be happy to send Ned some little baby geese :) They are multiplying by the dozens.

[F, Calla & Luca]

What a funny photo. The little ones provide the diversion and mama gets to work: ) Too bad Ned can't enlist puppies.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nancy, I had no idea Ned was a pickpocket....LOL!!! Maybe you could teach him this trick :)

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Nah! The cops would not have been able to match his license with his description (ha)!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I think Ned is guilty of leaving the scene of a crime and he is lucky the man didn't get his license number : )

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

He is certainly a princely character - at least HE thinks he is princely.  It is a training issue that should be addressed, but it is so funny to watch him contemplate before he complies with a command.  You can tell that he totally heard you and totally knows what you told him, but he has to "decide" whether it is worth it to mind or not.  Clancy is so much more eager to please - and consequently better trained and behaved.  Whatever he is, Clancy is definitely not the product of a miniature poodle.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

LOL, Nancy, you and Ned just made me laugh out loud!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

That's Ned's excuse - it is genetic and he can't help it.  Ned stole treats from a stranger's pouch!  The man was bending down, Ned stole the treats and ran, and the man never noticed.  He reached into his pouch to get a treat for his dog and voila, no treats.  Our daughter saw it all happen and grabbed Ned and left the park before the man realized he had had his pocket picked by a pint-sized doodle.....

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

In Ned's case, it's definitely the fault of the miniature poodle. Jane's Guinness, too. He can not only find things he shouldn't have, but he leaves no clues behind that he was even there. Ask Jane to tell the story about how he took treats out of the pocket of one of her vests, lol.