Please Don't Let Him Think He's Being Abandoned Again!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

On Monday morning, I'll be taking Jackdoodle to the Veterinary Specialty Clinic, where he will finally undergo the intradermal skin testing that I've been putting off for 14 months now. It has to be done; the autoimmune disease that causes his problems only gets worse, and it can become life-threatening without treatment. There is no cure, but hopefully we can manage it and give him a decent life. The best way to do that is to first find out exactly what is causing his flare-ups. And it has to be done in the "off-season." Since the procedure involves general anesthetic, he will have to stay all day, in an indoor "run". I have never left Jack anywhere besides the groomers for 2 hours, and even there, he really doesn't want to go in back without me. How am I going to leave him? He will have his blanket, and the pillow I sleep on, and whatever garment I sleep in the night before. I hope that will be enough to comfort him. But I am so afraid he is going to think he's being abandoned again.
It was almost exactly three years ago that he was abandoned, left in a place that will seem very similar to him, I'm afraid, and even at the same time of year. The people who had purchased him from the pet store, with whom he spent the first year of his life, dumped him in a non-kill shelter, in an indoor run, and walked away forever. He was then taken to a clinic, where he was anesthetized & neutered. And then back to lie in his cage afterwards. At first, he must have thought they were coming back for him...but they never did. I am so afraid that this is going to seem horribly familiar to him. I am so afraid that he's going to be in terror that he's lost his home and family again.
It will only be the one day, and then he'll be back here again. But it's going to be the longest, hardest day of his life. Will it be enough that he has his blanket, and things with my scent on them? Does he know that I love him too much to ever ever leave him? I hope so, but I don't know, and I am crying as I write this, thinking of how frightened he'll be, how lost & alone again. I have been crying over this image for 14 months...I couldn't even make the appointment without breaking down on the phone. Now that the day is almost here, I am terrified for him. And I need to get a grip on this before I bring him in Monday, or I'm going to stress him out even worse.
So I am asking Whoever Watches Over Big Shaggy Goofball Doodles to please, please, let Jackdoodle not be afraid, and please let him know that I am coming back for him at the end of the day, that I love him with all my heart and would never leave him, no matter what. And if anyone reading this happens to have a free moment on Monday to think of Jackdoodle and send him a little strength, it will be much appreciated. By both of us.

[Nicole Wayne]

What an eloquent post during such a stressful time, Karen. Remember that we are all here for you and that this is the perfect place to share your anguish, so share it with us and try to relax so that Jackdoodle doesn't sense your stress and become concerned. Adrianne is right - dogs live in the moment. Jack is a happy dog, now, who knows his family loves him. When he goes to the clinic, I don't think Jackdoodle will remember anything other than the fact that the wonderful, familiar scent on his blanket and pillow is the scent of the person who loves and cares for him. This is much harder on you than it will be on Jack. He will be fine and will come home to you and you can snuggle him and spoil him like crazy. Mazie and I will be around on Monday and we'll check DK often. Please keep us updated if you can. I send healing thoughts and Mazie will send sloppy, wet kisses with restorative powers.

[Adrianne Matzkin]

Hi Karen,
I am so sorry thatyou both have to go through this. I truly believe that he knows how much you love him and will NEVER abandon him! I also believe that all those thoughts about his being abandoned are no longer in his mind - just ours. Like Cesar says - dogs live in the moment and his moments with you have been nothing but wonderful.!! We, the humans, have all the baggage. I am sure that he can feel your nervousness about this so I would try very hard not to think about those things when you are with him and have onnly positive 'vibes' and he will not be afraid. He will not be happy leaving you but he will not be afraid!
I truly believe this and both Samantha and I are sending you both positive, loving thoughts.
We will be thinking of you Monday and waiting to get the updates when you get home.

[Holly Paterniti]

Karen~ as I read your post, I started to cry and my heart was breaking with you. I would feel the same thing if I were in your shoes. I have a hard enough time leaving Bear at PetSmart grooming. And when he got neutered over the summer, I was a nervous reck. Bear and I will keep Jackdoodle in our thoughts on Monday. I agree with with Teresa, "whisper in his big shaggy ears you will be back for him and you love him". They can sense love in their family. Keep us updated ok?

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

Karen - We will all be thinking of Jack. He knows your love for him and I'm sure he knows that you are NOT abandoning him. Hang in there.

Love and hugs.

[Teresa]

Oh Karen - my heart breaks for you and I am crying as I read your post. Everything that has already been posted as a response is true - Jackdoodle WILL know you are not leaving him because he knows the bond he has with you. People that could leave him in the first place NEVER EVER loved him or gave back to him what you have already given. I completely understand your feelings and both of you will be in my prayers on Sunday night and I will send gentle doodle pats across the universe to Jack all day on Monday. I'l also sending gentle doodle pats to you at the same time. As Rae has already stated - if you can, try to be there until the anesthesia and afterwards - if nothing else, it will help you to relax around him. He will be fine - he knows you won't leave him, even if he is a little afraid when he gets there. Whisper in his big shaggy ears that you will be back for him and that you love him - he WILL know.
Bless you for loving him so very much.

[Janie]

I will have a lot of free moments Monday, and they will all be for you and Jackdoodle.

[Cam & Oski]

Oski & I will be thinking of Jackdoodle & giving him cyberhugs. I can't begin to understand how heart wrenching this is for you but my short time with these wonderful dogs has taught me that they are incredibly intuitive. They know just how important they are to us & how much we love them. Jackdoodle loves you just as much as you love him & he knows & trusts you to take care of him & do what he needs.

Oski is giving both of you a big wet slurp right now & tomorrow too!

[Rae]

Karen- Believe me, Jackdoodle will know you love him and are coming back for him! This breaks my heart that it's causing you so much pain. Have to talked to the vet about staying with him until he goes under the anesthetic and then being with him as he wakes up? I've been able to do that with my babies for spaying, an awful knee surgery, and a hip surgery. I had a very long talk with the vet and we were able to work it out. If that doesn't work will they let you visit with him? I so understand how you feel and you are right, you really do need to try to pull it together so Jackdoodle doesn't get more upset. Please keep in touch and let me know how it goes! Rozee O'Doodle and Bella Pearl are sending blessing and puppy woofs and I'm sending prayers and strenth to both of you!