Santa Got Run Over by a...................Cold!!!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Yesterday, I picked my mom up from the airport and she is back to spend the holidays with us.  Last week, I came down with some kind of head cold and I am still battling this bug this week.  My daughter and son-in-law arrive on Friday and I do not have time to be sick.  I have been talking to a couple of my female friends and it seems I am not alone when I say I think Santa is really a tired, overworked at the Holidays, superwoman.  I may be oversimplifying, but I think it is the women of the world who, for the most part, make the Holidays happen at their house.  My one friend makes the most wonderful nuts and makes batch after batch for days to give away to family, friends, and co-workers, for Christmas. On top of that, she works long hours at her job and she told me yesterday that her husband said to her that she needs to relax more at the Holidays and all she said back was, “Are you for real?”  Personally, I thought he was pretty daring to tell an exhausted woman cooking nuts to take it easy. 

 

I would love to curl up in bed with my box of Kleenex the entire week before my company arrives, and count how many times I can blow my nose in one hour, but I don’t have time and there are no Merry Maids at our house beating the door down to help.  In fact, there just seems to be one not so Merry Maid, coughing and hacking and contemplating packing her nose with Tampons to avoid having to blow it one more time as she goes about getting everything done. The problem with that idea is in my harried, sick state I could wind up at the grocery store, completely forgetting how I solved the problem of a dripping nose and have the check-out lady say to me, “ma’am, you might want to read the directions on the box next time because I don’t think you are using those correctly.” I really don’t know how I would explain the situation other than to say I probably saw it on an old episode of MacGyver.

 

So, while waiting for my mom’s plane to arrive, I took the dogs to their grooming appointment and came home to vacuum one last time and throw in another load of laundry and was thinking everything was running pretty smoothly when the first hiccup happened. I made the mistake of answering the phone and there my mom was letting me know her plane was delayed due to fog. My mom is a firm believer in the old adage, “if mama isn’t happy, she is going to share it with you,” and her cheery voice told me this was one of those times.  While we were talking, I could hear an announcement overhead and I asked her what was being said and she answered back, “I have no idea what they are talking about, “ only to have some nice passenger tell her they said they were boarding. 

 

She hung up rather quickly and probably didn’t hear me tell her I appreciated having to run up from the basement to answer the phone only to hear from her that her plane had been delayed by a matter of minutes and as soon as she landed, I would try and have Diane Sawyer there for the interview. That wasn’t the end of her calls and I got another one after she landed in PA that there was no wheelchair waiting for her and she had no idea what to do. I could see me now trying to get through the security check point and trying to explain to the officer that I don’t have time to empty my pockets of all my cold medicine paraphernalia because there is an impatient woman with a cell phone and my number waiting at the terminal gate for a wheelchair. I really was expecting at any moment to hear an 85 year old woman on the overhead speaker yelling, “ Laurie, where is my damn wheelchair?”  Instead, by the time I gathered my thoughts, she told me the wheelchair had arrived and she was on her way. Another crisis averted, and when she got in the car the first thing she said was, “I told myself to come out with a smile on my face, “ and all I said was, “when did you decide to go with plan B?”

 

What does all this mean?  I think my point is that Santa doesn’t get sick days. There is never a good time to get sick, but Holidays are the worst. People still need picked up from the airport, company still comes, dinners need to be cooked, gifts purchased and wrapped, Holiday programs and pageants attended, and unfortunately, there are no do overs.  Being sick, I have let a couple of things slide and was very thankful on Sunday when my husband took the dogs for their daily walk and let me sleep. I tried to get up and go with him, but he took one look at me and said, “will your hair be sticking up like that on our walk?” and when I shook my head “yes” he opted to go solo.  Tomorrow morning, I get to see my daughter for the second time in one year and I don’t care if my nose is still dripping and my eyes are still weeping and she yells out, "Rudolph!" when she first lays eyes on me,  there is going to be a big smile plastered all over my face all day.  Yep, I am feeling better already and it is nice to have my family home. I wish for each one of you a happy and healthy Holiday and to be surrounded by those you hold dear, either two legged or four, and to Jennifer, who makes my cold seem like small potatoes, to get home to her Jack for Christmas.

P.S. Well, it is twelve hours later here and my mom woke up with the flu! My daughter missed her connecting flight by 10 minutes because her plane was delayed, as did 9 other passengers, and had to wait until morning to get out of Portland. She won't be here until dinner time. I hope they don't turn around and go home when they get here and see some of the occupants of this house :) Meanwhile, my husband just gave me an early Christmas present when he came home from work early to take care of my mom, me, and two dogs that are wondering why no one wants to play with them. No wonder Santa has so many helpers. Every now and then, he needs a little help!!

 

[Sharon & Monty]

I think you need to let Vern warm her feet. Unless of course she objects.  :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you, Leslie. I would love to hear the rest of that song :)

Nancy, Thank you for the kind words. Yep, I have a keeper too. He is better with my mom being sick than I am!

Jane, I cracked up at the comments about your DD's. Good luck with your dinners and I hope you get to relax a little this holiday! Have a Merry Christmas!

Aww.....thank you, Sally! You put a smile on my face.

Donna, We do live parallel lives, I think! Vern has been checking on my mom throughout the day and twice I had to make him get off the bed with her. He was keeping her feet warm:) Thanks for the laugh about the fat man in the red suit. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!! I love your games and sense of humor. Now, don't get all beat red in the face...LOL!!

Rhonda, A 'Honey-do" list is always a good revenge tactic in my book...LOL! Have a great holiday!

Karen, Vern has been trying to get on the bed with her and managed to do it twice today. He laid right down on her feet. I think he wants her bed now :) I am all done with everything and feeling better and praying no one else gets sick. Have a great Holiday and give a hug to Jack from all of us!

Jennifer, You and your mom and my mom and me would be quite a foursome...LOL!! It made my day that you got home to Jack for the holidays. Stay well and have a blessed Holiday with your family and friends!!! You are very special and one strong lady!

Thank you, Carol. I consider myself lucky too, but maybe not today....LOL!! Maybe I will write the company with my tampon tip about a drippy nose and make millions..LOL! Have a Happy Holiday with your family and your adorable doodle, Banjo!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you, F, for the nice comment. I will tell my mom you are sticking up for her again. She will like that...too bad she won't let me take a picture of her and she has already said I cannot blog about her illness :) We always do Chinese food on Christmas and I am feeling better. I just hope my mom does soon and no one else catches it. I hope you have a wonderful Holiday too and a great New Year!! I enjoy bantering with you!!

Ricki, You are right, as usual!! Thank you for being such a wonderful friend. Merry Christmas!

Sharon, I feel for you and I think you are right about the higher power. Feel better and have a great Christmas!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so sorry you and your mom are both ill.  I loved and giggled through this whole blog - I am sure if I tried the tampon thing I would also end up at the store - I can't get that picture out of my mind. 

I was a young adult when the Hong Kong Flu was going around and one after another my family came down with it.  Luckily my future hubby came over and helped all of us  - I knew then that he was a keeper.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

As always, Laurie, this blog is perfectly timed.  I just talked to my DD who was calling her husband a "clueless wonder".  Apparently he made the mistake of asking her why she seemed stressed out and why she wasn't in the "spirit of XMAS".  She has shopped and wrapped for four kids while lugging a two year old from store to store. She made quite an impression in the Gap yesterday when he "pooped" and she decided not to leave until her shopping was done....at least she didn't have to deal with a line at the register.  My other DD also called and I heard her say to her husband..."just be quiet" as he was asking if there was anything she needed him to do....now that EVERYTHING WAS DONE!  Why does this come as a surprise to them, I wonder.  Women are responsible for everything...I'm convinced that it's true.  I think just about everything is ready here.  I have 25 for dinner tomorrow and 8 for dinner on XMAS....and I'm so tired.  So that's the end of my "b*******".  I will love having family together, and in the end I will know that it's all so worth it.  I will count my blessings and hope my back holds out.  Laurie, here's hoping that you and especially your Mom are feeling better and that you can all truly enjoy this special holiday together.

[Sally, Ditzy Mitzi & Sgt. Pepper]

Laurie, 

Once again you light up our lives with your sense of humor, even when you are feeling sick.  Hope you

get better fast, get rid of the Rudolf wardrobe and have a Very Merry Christmas!

[Donna K & Quincy]

Thanks for making me laugh. Laurie, This may be cold comfort but I have been suffering along with you this week with a cold that won't quit but like you said this is just a minor inconvenience in comparison to what others have to suffer. My son is home for Christmas and the flight that was supposed to arrive at midnight arrived at 4am because they cancelled his connecting flight and he had to wait for a new one. I am lucky to have both my parents visiting for Christmas as well. I think we are living parallel lives. The only difference being my mom doesn't fight with Quincy for the chair but this non-dog person has been carrying on full conservations with the doodle.

 I just have one thing to share with you that proves women really do make Christmas.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer, however, retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen..... had to be a female. We should have known this.... Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost.

Since I have to work 12hrs tomorrow and them I am having my family in for light Christmas Eve dinner I have to go make the Seafood Chowder that we'll be having. Take care, hope everyone feels better. Advil Cold and Sinus, works wonders for a drippy nose.

The good news, we will be having Christmas dinner at my brother's place and all I have to do is show up and the doodle is welcome there.

My first thought was that I hoped those nose tampons were at least a festive red and green but then on further thought realized that might not be such a good idea. lol

[Rhonda, Marabelle & Jeriki]

lol hahahahhaahah you are so right. I had a conversation with my husband just last night on why I was so tired. He told me to " just relax today" while I'm at work!!!!! "Ok Hunny" I'll try and do that. Took everything I had not to put salt in the coffee on my way out the door lol. God knows I love him but sheesh. I left him a "hunny" do list instead (perfect revenge). lol

 

Rhonda

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

It's good to see that your sense of humor is healthy as ever, even if the rest of you isn't. The tampons in the nose really cracked me up!

I'm sorry your mom is sick, but on the bright side, perhaps this means she won't be vying with Vern for that chair?

I say, do whatever you feel up to doing and let whoever can help out do so. Let everything else go. The holidays will happen whether the nuts are cooked or not. It's not supposed to be about cooking and cleaning, it's supposed to be about love and family, right? And you've got that for sure. Feel better, and have yourself a merry little Christmas!

[Jennifer and Jack]

Oh and might I suggest some tamiflu if it is the real flu that stuff works even for me