Should I Have Raised Labradoodles Instead of Daughters?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

My daughter moves to Oregon tomorrow. We live in Pennsylvania. I have been alternating between feeling sad and mad about this since she gave me the news. My best friend said she knew I was upset when I lost my sense of humor. I blame myself and my husband. We were stupid. All the while our kids were growing up, we told them they could do anything and be anything. What we should have said is, “You can be anything and do anything within a 100 mile radius of your parents.  If it is farther than that, you won’t like it.”  I really think when they were little, my DH and I should have been whispering, “Always stay close to home,” in their tiny, little, impressionable ears each night as they were drifting off to sleep. What were we thinking?  I mean, why did we spend so much time straightening up after they went to bed, having a little me time, and catching up on each other’s day, when we should have been brainwashing our children to never move to OREGON?

 

Oh, she has told me all the reasons she has to move…a new job and frankly I don’t care. I told her we would be more than happy to have her and her husband and their pets live in our basement and what sane person would turn that down. She asked me if I wanted her to be happy and I felt bad when I said, “If it involves a place called Oregon, I would have to say no.”   She told me after they have kids, she would send them to me for the summer and then laughed when I said, “Make sure you tell them I will be the tall lady holding the sign that says, You don’t know us because your stupid parents moved to Oregon and ripped our hearts out, but we are your loving grandparents.”  All she said was she hoped I got through security with my giant sign.

 

Nobody tells you this when you start to have kids, that someday they might just get a job clear across the USA and there is nothing you can do about it. Dr. Phil and Oprah really let me down on this one. All I heard was to teach your kids to be independent and confident and boy oh boy, did we screw up and now we have an independent & confident daughter on her way to Oregon.  I am writing all this down in the hopes that some of you newer parents can learn from my mistakes. Start the brainwashing NOW, before it is too late. Meanwhile, I am going to start whispering in Fudge and Vern’s ears every night, “Don’t even think about moving or else!”

 

Here are the Stab Your Parents in the Back Soon to be Oregonians:

 

I bet if she knew all these facts, she would turn around and head for home:

 

• In Stanfield, Oregon, no more than two people are allowed to share a single drink.

• It is against the law in Myrtle Creek to box with a kangaroo.

• The hazelnut is Oregon's official state nut. Oregon is the only state that has an official state nut.

• In Oregon it is illegal to use canned corn as fish bait.

• Oregon's state flag pictures a beaver on its reverse side.

• In Portland, people are banned from whistling underwater.

• In Bend, Oregon is a Bowling Ball Garden at a place called the Funny Farm, where you can actually buy bowling ball seeds in the gift shop.

 

 

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Laurie - we must be about the same age because a few years back we went through the same thing only in reverse.  WE moved to FL leaving much of the family in Michigan.  The kids were saying how could we move?  Now my daughter has moved 1/2 way south and is in Atlanta - which I love being a 10 hr drive or short flight away.  Your daughter and son-in-law, backstabbers though they may be sure look very happy and cute in the photo.  Just think - now every vacation that you take - you'll go to Oregon - LOL!!!!

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Wow, my Mom could give you some pointers here.  Because of me my parents have vacationed in Georgia, Europe, Las Vegas, Connecticut, NYC, Vermont, MA and FL.   When I told my Mom I was considering taking a job in England she applied for her passport the next day.  I honestly thought she would try to talk me out of it,  Think that was Dads job.   When I finally returned to small town Ohio after about 30 years they were like, well where are we going to go on vacation now.  I think they were more disappointed that I never gave them any grandchildren than that I moved away.  Imagine if I had moved and taken grandchildren.  I think that you will discover a whole new specialness about the time you will get to spend together now.  Now get to planning that trip across the US stopping to visit all the DK Doodles on your way ....... I'm pretty sure Ohio is on the way!  I hear Oregon is beautiful.

[Donna K & Quincy]

That's almost 3000 miles, what the heck is she thinking? If the bowling ball farming doesn't work out, maybe they'll move a little closer to home assuming of course they are not doing hard time for Kangaroo boxing or whistling underwater. I also think Oregon may have a state nut because the state is officially nuts. You may have a few years and if you start intensive brainwashing now by the time the grandchildren arrive they'll be happily living a mile down the road from the folks and wondering why in the heck they ever moved to Oregon in the first place. It's a lovely picture of DD and SIL, they look happy and like nice sensible children.

 

Laurie, you are so right, we spend all our time trying to give our children wings, then spend our time wishing we could clip them. I know you are going to miss them terribly and I'm sure they will miss you equally as much. BTW how are Fudge and Vern at travelling, if you drive a thousand miles a day you could be there in 3 days and stay for a nice looooooooooooooooooong visit.

 

Disclaimer: All comments are made in jest, I know nothing about Oregon or it's nuts.

To DD and SIL, Happy trails, travel safe.

 

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

I can only imagine your pain right now!!  A mother goes through the agony of childbirth, only to be stabbed in the back by the ungrateful "child" as he/she leaves the nest, claiming he/she has the right to live his/her own life!  Yea, right!!!  And to twist the knife - to Oregon, of all places!

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

My daughter moved to New Hampshire (we are in CA) for eight years.  She came back of her own volition.  All is not lost.  Think kind thoughts and if all else fails visit frequently and stay toooooo long - perhaps she will realize if she lives close you can stay at home and not live with her.