Sleeping with the Enemy (aka Vern and/or Fudge) !!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

New Year’s Eve was hard on Vern.  For the first time ever, he was frightened of the surrounding fireworks and guns going off all around us.  I hate to be a party pooper, but when something comes between my sleep and me I think it should be outlawed and the offenders cast off the island.  I actually read in the news recently that a costumed nine-year-old girl was accidentally shot by a relative who mistakenly took her for a skunk.  Police said this man had not been drinking, which makes it all the harder to explain how he thought a skunk could ever grow to be the size of a nine-year-old girl.  There are too many stupid people with guns who shouldn’t be shooting anything in broad daylight let alone in the middle of the night after whooping it up on New Year’s Eve.   Most of the noise happened as the ball dropped, or in our town, a frozen chicken up at the local bar, and long after I had gone to bed.  John was nice enough to fill me in on the details when he walked into our bedroom at midnight and woke me up from my sound sleep by asking if I was asleep and telling me it was officially 2013.  I promptly told him I didn’t care, but there was still time to drop another couple of balls if he dared to come closer. Vern used the lull in conversation that followed to jump up on the bed and begin to pant and by panting, I mean the bed was moving as if I was in one of those hotels from the 60’s and had just put my quarter into the Magic Fingers to experience fifteen minutes of bed shaking fun.

Unfortunately, Vern’s panting was not the same fun as I remembered and only meant going back to sleep was out of the question, until we could get Vern calmed down.  Thankfully, our daughter emerged from her bedroom, probably to see why she heard her parents moving about at such a late hour and offered to sleep in the living room with Vern.  I have fallen for this ruse before and thought our prayers had been answered and someone else could deal with Vern’s insomnia and phobias, but I have come to learn the hard way that when she offers to sleep upstairs it simply means she is going to sleep upstairs, and sleep is the operative word.  While she sleeps peacefully in the living room, the dogs often tiptoe right by her probably thinking, “let’s let Hayley enjoy her sleep and we will go get mom up instead.”  We have found that the dogs could set up a racquetball court, invite a few friends over, and hit the ball all around her and she would still cop an attitude when I came around the corner screeching, “what is going on out here?”  All she ever says is,  “mom, why did you wake me up?  I am exhausted.”  On New Year’s Eve, however, after trying to get Vern to settle down for quite some time, we decided to trust her and ran to our bedroom screaming, “no taksies backsies!” before she could change her mind.  I did say to John once, “Do you think we should check on them? What if Vern gets scared and jumps on top of her and she can’t get out from under him or call for help?” All he said was, “She’ll be fine. Vern gets up every two hours. Let’s get some sleep.”

We all got through the night fairly uneventfully after the outside noises died down, but since New Year’s Eve, Vern gets jumpy if he hears any loud noise like gunshots. Since we seem to live in a big hunting area, we hear it frequently and have made a point of not reacting and continuing on with whatever we are doing.  He seems to be less fearful, but if he is out in the yard and someone shoots a gun off nearby, he bolts for the door and runs directly into our room and jumps on the bed.  He also wants to be in bed with us more and early one morning not long ago he jumped into bed with us, followed by Fudge who wasn’t going to be left out.  This is never good because Fudge is an expert at making herself larger than she really is and stretching out to her fullest potential and letting the other three occupants fight for the remaining space.  Our dogs are spoiled and we do a lot of crazy things for our dogs. The other night we were up at the park late to make sure they got their walk in and neither of us thought to bring a flashlight.  At one point, I walked right off the sidewalk and into a gully because I couldn’t see where I was going and another time I panicked and yelled to John that there were two huge things in front of me and he yelled back it was either my feet or those cement parking blocks. 

By far, the fact that we are willing to be uncomfortable in our own bed so our dogs sleep more comfortably and walk them at our peril proves my spoiling point perfectly.  The other morning when they both got in bed with us, there were parts of me hanging off the bed that should never go uncovered.  Fudge left me with approximately 4 inches down the left side of the bed for my allotted bed space and if I pulled with all my might I was able to get the sheet up as far as my waist.  The rest of the covers were tucked comfortably under Vern and her for added cushion. Luckily, the exertion of trying to hang on to my side of the bed and repeatedly drag myself back onto the bed before going over kept my body temperature up and the chills to a minimum.  John had his own problems on his side of the bed because as Vern stretched he would use any exposed area on John’s body as leverage.   At times our eyes would meet across the wide expanse of dog and I just knew he was thinking what I was thinking, “How much longer until you get up, so I can have some more room in this bed?”

Don’t bother offering solutions for us.  We are a lost cause.  Instead, when I come to you to vent, just say, “there, there, you poor girl, it’s going to get better.”  I much prefer that to, “you are an idiot and those dogs are taking full advantage of your kind nature.”  Meanwhile, every night I will continue to say my Hail Vern’s as penance (and forgive me, for I am not Catholic) for losing control, Hail Vern, Go to Sleep and stay asleep, we are here beside you, don’t make us in our dazed confusion misplace you at the local SPCA, please let us sleep, pray for us fools, now and in the wee hours of the night.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Gina, I like that your trainer can explain Fudge's behavior. Makes perfect sense to me. LOL

Donna, LOL...good idea. I do have a spare bedroom. I sometimes grab my robe at the end of the bed and cover up. Yes, the one and only bar in our huge town drops a chicken (not live) at NYE.  I have never been there to eat or see the chicken drop :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanna, I bet Zoe and Bender will sneak in there one of these days :) Time to get a king sized bed..LOL!!

Sheri, Thank you for your sincerity :) LOL I truly wish Sophie only great nights ahead, but I am glad she can share your bed when she doesn't feel well. You are a wonderful care giver to sweet Sophie. How funny that Lucy is perfectly content in her own room. I may try that treat trick. Thank you!!

Janie, Now, that you have two it is definitely survival of the fittest :) You are smart to use a sneak attack. LOL

[Donna K & Quincy]

There, there Laurie.. it's going to get better, just as soon as you move to your own room and close the door behind you. ;>)  I have a similar experience but only one doodle to hog all the space. More than once I have been banished to a piece of bed real estate the size of a postage stamp. I have solved the issue of not being able to free the covers by keeping an extra blanket by the side of the bed for those times that I need it.  

 I need more info on the frozen chicken drop. :>))

 

[GBK]

My trainer who has a chocolate Newf, says it's the brown dogs that are the problem!  We dropped in on her training class last Sat. and it took an extra couple of invites for Kona to do what was asked.  My trainer said she was giving me the finger in her own way, and she said she understood, it was in the DNA of brown dogs, they think they are special :)  And yes, you are right, they were royalty in another life, we call Kona the princess....

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you so much, Camilla :) I know you mean it!! LOL

Adrianne, You have just proven the point that it could always be worse...LOL!! Wow..what a lot of dogs.

Elizabeth, What day do you want me to drop the bed hogs off??

Gina, You described Fudge perfectly....a ROCK when she wants to be :) I have decided Fudge was royalty in a previous life. LOL Even Vern scrunches himself all up in a ball so he doesn't intrude on Fudge's space. I do the same thing with my covers. Buddy and Kona sound like Fudge and Vern, although luckily they don't sleep every night with us. We need to add a bed next to our king sized bed.

Christine, That special man will only be special IF he understands your relationship with sweet Shelby. LOL He is definitely out there. Plus, you can always get a bigger bed. We have no other options, unless we get the dogs their own bedroom. LOL

Jeanne, I hear you about those stupid fireworks. It should definitely stop at midnight :)

Carol, Luckily, it is not all night, every night. Vern has just been a little needier since the big event. He is getting over it and still does his nightly rounds about every two hours, but I guess I am getting used to that, too. John said the other day it is like we have a toddler.

Deanna, You can borrow either dog to get over the sadness :) Vern would be our first choice. He likes to check on you about every two hours. I loved your description of Sedona and her crate. My parents paid the twenty five cents willingly because it kept me quiet and entertained for a bit. You forgot to mention your bed shaking fun on the cruise when talking about your husband...LOL!! The things we learn on DK.

[Camilla and Darwin]

Well, given the comment restrictions...

"There, there you poor girl....it's going to get better".

LOL!

[F, Calla & Luca]

None needed at all : )

[Adrianne Matzkin]

I don't think words are needed!

[Elizabeth, Bailey & Bruin]

I so wish Bailey wanted to sleep with us!  She jumps up in bed for a little snuggling then it's down she goes.  When my DH gets up for work at zero dark thirty, she jumps up in bed with me and sleeps on his side with her head on his pillow..so I guess I have the best of both worlds!

[GBK]

Wow, ours are not too bad with Fireworks, but have you been peeking in our bedroom lately????  We fight for room on the bed right along with your family Laurie :)  Poor DH is tucked in like a mummy, Buddy on the outside and Kona in the middle.  And if I didn't know better, Kona grows to double her size every night, because how can a 30 lb medium doodle take up THAT much room on a kingsized bed????  I am often hanging over the edge too, and freezing cold because Kona is laying on all the bundled up covers....  She is a ROCK, and won't be moved unless she wants to, or I actually pick her up and shoo her.  I also have to race to my side of the bed to beat her to my spot and pull the covers up quick before she plops into me.  I have a ritual about two hours before bedtime I make sure there are enough covers on my side of the bed so when I make my wild dash  I can squeeze in and cover up quick ;)  Great blog, glad we are not alone!