Stockings….

[Deanna M.]

I was minding the Salvation Army Christmas kettle at WalMart, passing the time people watching and mentally going over what had been bought, and needed to be bought, for gifts and stocking stuffers when I realized, someone would have to do Mom’s stocking.

 

Stockings have been a huge part of our Christmas for as long as I can remember, often more treasured than many of the gifts exchanged.   Typically they contained everyday toiletries, an excess of candy, a few nifty gadgets and sometimes a special little something like a piece of jewellery or CD or gift card.  Maybe it was because we wrapped pretty much everything or just the simple pleasure a new toothbrush brings, but for our family the stocking was a highly anticipated event.  I say event because as kids we were under strict orders not to wake my parents before 7am, ironic in that my father rarely slept past 6:30 any day of his life, but we could get and open our stockings as soon as we woke.  My brother was usually the one to get the other three of us up and that was never later than 4am.  Once Mom and Dad were up and Dad had showered and had a coffee in hand we would begin the opening of presents.

 

Over the years, with our own family, Carl and I expanded on the tradition and now we are not to be disturbed before 8am and we have breakfast with toutons (fried bread dough), eggs, bacon and fried Newfie steak (bologna) before the gifts are unwrapped.  Stockings are still fair game as soon as one is awake.  Another tradition that evolved was on Tib’s Eve (Dec. 23), or Christmas Eve, my dad and me and/or my sister, depending on who was home for Christmas, would make a trip to the drugstore to pick out the last few items for Mom’s stocking, a lipstick, nail polish, body wash….not that Dad left things to the last minute, he often had Mom’s gifts picked out and bought by the end of November.  However, wrapping of them and the stocking stuffers usually fell to my sister and me on Christmas Eve, at about 11pm…

 

This year would be different.

 

Carl and I had not planned on going home for Christmas.  We live in Halifax, Nova Scotia and our hometown is Corner Brook, Newfoundland, a 17 hour journey one way, including a 6-7 hour ferry ride.  Since October 2013 we had made the trip 4 times, including Christmas last year and the past 5 months had been an emotional roller-coaster….

My dad enjoying his toutons last Christmas.

At the end of July my dad died of prostate cancer, the middle of August my sister was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer with a tumor in her pelvic area that had fractured the bone, the end of August we celebrated our daughter’s wedding, in September my sister had a mastectomy and a biopsy done on the tumor in her pelvis and near the end of October she was told the tumor was not malignant and it looked like they got everything with the mastectomy.

 

Overall, I was comfortable with not going home for Christmas, my two brothers and sister all live within a 3 minute drive from my mom and she was talking about possibly spending Christmas Eve with either my brother or sister’s families or having them stay over at the house.  She was more concerned about New Years Eve because that was something she and dad always celebrated as a couple with other couples.  I had talked to my sister and she said that they would include her in whatever they were doing New Years Eve.  We were even toying with the idea of flying her up to visit us for New Years.

 

Then Mom called the beginning of December, I knew as soon as she said hello, there was the twinge in her voice.  My sister had had another scan done and it was cancer in her pelvis and it had spread.  I asked if she wanted me to come home and she said no, not right then, but could we for Christmas?

 

There were a few logistics to figure out, Carl had to ask for a couple extra days off work, our daughter and new hubby had to decide if they would both go or if he would stay to be with his family and our son had to choose to go or stay with his girlfriend if she couldn’t get off work.  Our youngest daughter was upset, she wanted us to all be together and felt being in NL would have her missing her grandfather all the more.  We had just adopted Molly and didn’t really know how she would be to travel.

 

And now it hit me that Dad would not be doing Mom’s stocking this year.

 

I texted my brothers and between my dear sister-in-law and I the items for Mom’s stocking were bought.  My brother also knew of a coat my mom had fallen in love with and we all chipped in on that for her as her main present.

All seven of us, son-in-law and girlfriend included, plus Sulley and Molly, went home for Christmas.  And it was good.  We decorated my mom’s tree, visited family and friends, laughed, shed tears, played games, enjoyed nieces and nephews and ate. The pic is (L-R) my son, son-in-law and hubby making Christmas morning breakfast in their Christmas pj bottoms.

 

Mom loved her stocking and her coat.  It may not have been what Dad would have bought, but she knew the love behind it and that as a family, even without him, we were still whole, just a different configuration.

It was a Christmas with peace and joy and that's all I could ask for.

 

Wishing you, your doodles and all your loved ones a Happy New Year and many blessings for 2015.

Love Deanna, Sulley and Molly

[Carol and Banjo]

Deanna, I'm just reading this post.   Your family truly knows the true meaning of Christmas.   May the coming year bring health, healing and happiness to you all.

[Miss Ellie]

Deanna...my heart just breaks with the story of all that you and your family have been through...but I am so happy that you all went home for Christmas and more importantly you were all together...that was probably the best, most wonderful gift for your Mom...Sending belated, warm wishes for a wonderful 2015 and I send healing prayers for your sister.  

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Deanna, this is a beautiful story of family love and what Christmas is all about!  Sending prayers and love to your sister and your entire family.  

[Donna K & Quincy]

Hi Deanna, wonderful blog and I'm happy that you enjoyed your Christmas at home. The first Christmas without your loved one is always difficult. Nice to see a fellow Newfoundlander, the toutons be a dead giveaway. :>)  Hoping 2015 brings you health and happiness for you and your family.

[BG and Gavin]

A beautiful blog and a testament to the strength of your family.  Best wishes to you and prayers to your sister. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Another wonderful blog. Thank you for sharing. So many life changes you have had this year and it makes it all the more special that you went home for the holidays. 

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Thanks so much for sharing,  what an emotional year it has been. How wonderful that you were all able to make the trip for Christmas,  memories you will have forever! Wishing you and your family a healthy and Happy New Year!

[Shoney & Ruby]

Beautiful.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Thank you for sharing.  Your childhood Christmas morning traditions were very similar to mine, so it was a nostalgic read, until I read further and saw all the troubles your family had undergone this year.  I am so sorry. Family is so important and it is heartwarming that yours was able to regroup with a few tweaks.  Please extend my hope for a better 2015 to all of your family.