The Benefits of Photoshop after Childbirth!! Congratulations, Clark and Adina!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

I hate to start talking about the old days, but years ago when I gave birth things were much different.  When I gave birth to my oldest daughter back in 1984, there was a big push for natural childbirth.  I gave birth in a hospital, but was attended by two midwives, and I had a very long labor.  I had no IV’s and no drugs to help.  The midwife in charge encouraged me to walk all during my labor to speed things up, but on or about the fourteenth hour, I might have screamed, “go get a shop vac and get this kid out of me, NOW!”

When it finally came time to push, she had me try out many positions and my favorite was when I was lying on my side with my arm around my husband’s neck.  At one point, he mentioned that I was cutting off his air supply and I might have mentioned I was thinking about cutting something else off and he suffered in silence after that point.

 

Finally, the moment we had been waiting for happened and we had a little girl.  Recently, my niece gave birth and her husband posted pictures of her and the baby shortly after it happened and she looked gorgeous.  It looked like she had applied makeup and she was radiant.  During my pregnancy and for hours after I gave birth, I looked more like a commercial for Proactiv and I was the before face.

After I gave birth, and I am chalking it up to the no drug policy, the midwife didn’t even have to slap Megan to get her breathing, she just pointed her in my direction and said, “this is your mom,” and she started wailing. I looked bad and probably smelled worse.

 

Not everyone bonds immediately with their babies, despite what they tell you, and because I do not skip many meals and had walked the equivalent of two Boston Marathons, I was starving.  The first time they asked me, in the middle of the night, if I wanted to see my baby, I think I said, “Not unless she is holding a hot fudge sundae.” 

Things did go better after I was fed, but to this day, I have no pictures of our time in the hospital and if I did, I would show no one, unless of course, I had used Photoshop to alter my pictures.

Here is what my photo album would look like without Photoshop:

Here is what I would look like after giving birth using Photoshop:

But, if I was really lucky, (and only a select few are) I might even have looked like this after giving birth! Congratulations, Adina & Clark!!

 

[Liana & Jindi]

Congratulations Adina..... that is a beautiful photo :-)

[Christine & Shelby]

Congratulations Adina..... beautiful photo!!!

[Lynda Kamrath]

Hooray!  Just found out your son has arrived and you are looking beautiful as always.  Congratulations to all of you.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sue, Thanks. I do try and find the appropriate pictures :)

Elizabeth, Thank you! My sister was a L&D nurse for many years. She had some stories...LOL!!

[Elizabeth, Bailey & Bruin]

I'm currently an L & D nurse...Love this post...made me laugh.

I love it when one of my patients walks in the door of the unit and before she even changes she is asking for her epidural.....and she hasn't even had 1 contraction yet LOL

 

congrats to the new momma and daddy!!!

[Sue, Lola, Pongo & Hubby]

HAHA. The old lady with the wart on her nose...HILARIOUS!!! Congrats Adina, you really do look gorgeous there!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Carol, I did not even consider that possibility. You may be on to something :)

[Carol and Banjo]

Is it possible Adina borrowed  this little baby 11 months ago...for a photo shoot....?????      I do have post-birth photos....well hidden for anyone's view!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, Too bad I didn't offer an Intercourse shirt for quickest delivery. Are all the other passengers dining late..LOL?

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Oh and Laurie, glad you signed up for the early dining, it'll make your fellow passengers happy.