The Chair Stealer Came Back!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My mom was visiting for Thanksgiving.  She arrived on the Monday before Turkey Day.  I picked her up from the airport in my van and she hadn’t been in the car five minutes when she announced my van smelled like dog.  She didn’t say it in a nice way either like, “the smell is lovely inside your van.”  Nope, she screwed up her nose and went on to add, I guess for emphasis, that it smelled badly like pigs and she felt like she needed to take a bath. 

Since I couldn’t accommodate her with the bath at that moment, I hunted around for my hand lotion and told her to stick it put some on her hands and suck it smell it for awhile.  After that, she kept oohing and aahing that the lotion helped and she thought she could survive the trip home.  When I told her I had heard closing your mouth kept bad smells at bay, she must not have believed me because she kept on talking most of the way home.

 

Next, when we got home, before she even got out of my car, she said, “oh dear, now I have to be greeted by the horses.”  Pigs and horses….I was starting to sense a pattern.  Since my mom is now reluctantly using a walker and is a little more wobbly than previous visits, I had her sit down on our outside chair before I opened our front door and released Mr. Ed and Brown Beauty. 

Since my dogs did not know that Grandma had already been calling them names, they were thrilled to see her and obviously remembered her from previous visits.  I did have to stop the excited wrestling that ensued because I didn’t want Grandma to end up face down on our sidewalk and have her telling her lawyer at the hospital about two wild bulls that caused her accident and how she wants to sue the two jackasses who own the bulls.  

 

Once inside, we got my mom’s things settled in her room and Fudge and Vern went ahead and inspected her luggage for contraband.  Since Vern is taller than Fudge, he was able to get his snout into every nook and cranny of her luggage in the hopes of finding something to eat or steal.  Sometimes, both dogs sneak into her room and run out with her knee high panty hose and then I have to track them down and hope Grandma doesn’t ask later why her socks are damp.  She is too smart to believe the dogs had nothing to do with it, and I can just hear her saying, “this house has really gone to the dogs.”  She says that a lot when she looks around and sees the throws on the couches, the numerous dog beds out and about, and especially when they are both snoozing on my antique sofa in the foyer.  Usually I don’t say much, but sometimes I pretend I’m a ventriloquist and Fudge and Vern are my dummies and I say back, “gee Vern, let’s find a sock and see if we can get Grandma to catch it in her mouth,” and then Vern says something back like, “Fudge, make it a big sock!”  So far, it has not scared her enough to keep her opinions to herself.

We didn’t have too much trouble this time with the chair, although Vern did make a couple half-hearted attempts to paw her when she was sitting in his favorite chair.  She would look at me and ask what he was trying to tell her and I didn’t have the heart to tell her Vern probably gave her his paw because he didn’t have a finger.   No, this time Vern lucked out because she spent more time stealing John’s recliner chair every time he vacated it and then would innocently say, “Oh John, am I sitting in your chair?  Hold on, let me get up, it just hurts so much when I try to stand up,” when he came back into the room.  A couple of times I thought John would like to give her his paw, but she was always sipping her hot coffee and I guess he was afraid to take the chance.  If she did let John have his chair, she would make us move Vern’s dog bed away from her second choice chair so she wouldn’t trip.  Poor Vern.  He is like Monk when it comes to his stuff.  Moving his stuff is almost as bad as sitting in his chair.  It reminds me of my husband and his change.  He keeps various change jars on his dresser and if you take so much as one quarter out of any one of them, he knows the minute he gets home.  He is constantly accusing me of stealing his quarters and I am not saying if he is right or wrong, but since we are married isn’t his money my money? 

Anyway, it must be a guy thing because if Vern sees his bed has been moved one inch, he gets the same accusatory look in his eyes that John gets about his quarters.

It also just might be a girl thing that Fudge loves to walk by his bed and pull his blanket or bite the edge of his bed just because she can.

Fudge loved having my mom rub her and actually sat next to her chair frequently, but being Fudge, often sat just a hair’s breath out of reach so my mom had to lean forward in her chair.   Vern loved to roll on his Coolaroo bed right next to her chair and always ended upright with his hair on the top of his head sticking straight up.  A couple of times my mom said he looked unkempt after his roll finale and she kept telling Fudge to move closer. But, even an unkempt pig/horse Doodle and an ornery, not too close, cuddle hog Doodle can work their magic, because before she left, my mom said, “those two dogs have personality plus.”

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Sounds like a jolly visit.  I'm thinking that maybe you need to teach Vern to sit on the lap of whomever is sitting in his chair!  (And maybe teach John the same, lol).  That could cure Mom!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm glad that the Chair Stealer's visit went relatively smoothly and that she chose to steal John's chair rather than Vern's! My mother also referred to JD as a horse, but I like "pig/horse Doodle" much better, and I might start calling him that myself!

"Is that a Goldendoodle?"

"No, he's a Pig/Horse Doodle."

"Oh, really? I hadn't heard of that mix."

"Yes, they're very rare. I only know of two others in this country, both in Pennsylvania."

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

It sounds like F & V won "Grandma" over.  What a guy that DH is giving up his chair like that.....better him than Vern.  So Vern wasn't at all "freaked out" with the walker?  Given how he's so scared of lawn chairs I was wondering how he handled that walker.  It all sounds like a great Thanksgiving and I'm glad Mom has left so we can get you back here on DK. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Doris!! The wine John guzzled right from the bottle helped him a lot. LOL

Nancy, She is almost as old as Santa Claus...hehe....and hates every minute of it. Yes, she said it in a happy tone, not quite as good as when she talks about Neil Diamond, but in the ballpark :)

Lisa, Fudge always sits just out of reach. I guess she wants it to hurt when you pet her :) It is funny that Daisy does the same thing. My mom was never a dog person, but she does like F & V.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Once again your story made pictures in my minds eye, not the pictures you have here of course but actual F, V, Grandma and John pictures. Fudge so reminds me of Daisy, just out of reach in her "you come to me and I will allow you to pet me way".

Sounds like your family visit was wonderful as expected. Of course your Mom loves F & V, who doesn't?

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Hmmm.... just wondering what her tone of voice was.  I mean, well, like, did she say it like, "Neil Diamond those two dogs have personality plus?" or "Geez, those two dogs have personalities that are a pain in the neck enthusiastic?" Is she wondering if they have they been naughty or nice? I am sure they are hoping she might check the naughty/nice list and bring them a present at the next visit - isn't she as old as Santa Claus?

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

All's well that ends well. Sounds like the week went fairly smoothly and was walker/doodle incident-free! Congrats!