The Difference In Observation Skills Between Men and Dogs!!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My title might be a little misleading. Right off the bat, I want to say I am not an expert on men, but I have been married to one for 33 years, so let’s just say I know the difference between one man’s observation skills and my dog’s observation skills. On that point, I am an expert.

 

Recently, while my DH was away on a business trip, I bought a large, new rug for our bedroom.  It had been a long time since we had a rug in our bedroom and our hardwood floor had been bare for quite some time.  Anyway, I brought in the huge new bedroom rug and put it down myself. When my husband came home, he walked in the bedroom, stood on the rug and looked at me and said, “Uh oh, you are smiling. What is new?” and proceeded to look high and low for a change. Meanwhile, Vern came in, immediately spotted the new rug, took some good long sniffs of this new thing, and even executed a perfect roll on it, and still my DH could not figure out what was different. Please tell me how you miss a large rug directly under your feet that is being used by your 90 pound Mary Lou Rettondoodle for gymnastics practice within five feet of you?  He did finally notice and said it looked a lot like the rug we had before. The old rug was a vibrant green and the new rug is cream, but I gave him points for knowing we had an old rug. In our house, dogs are more observant.

 

The last time I had my hair colored, it took him two days before he said anything.  He looked up one day and said, “Hey, I like that color. When did you get that done?” I said in response, “Do you remember that day when I said I was going to get my hair colored at the beauty shop and then later that day came home and announced I was back from getting my hair colored at the beauty shop?  Well, that was the day I had it done.”  All he said was, “ It sure looks good! ” Fudge and Vern knew the minute I walked in the door that something was different and they took several minutes to give me a proper smell test.  I swear Fudge knows just by what outfit I am putting on in the morning, if I am leaving the house with or without her.  On the other hand, I could come out of the bedroom wearing my daughter’s wedding dress and veil and tell my husband I am ready to go out for dinner and all he would say is, “How does Pizza Hut sound?”  In our house, dogs are more observant.  

 

Our biggest fight happens almost daily about the garbage. Taking the garbage to the trash is his one big job. Getting him to do it is my big job. He has spent years perfecting his Operation Trash Avoidance Techniques and is now at the top of his game.  He never admits he sees the trash and is now skilled enough to look you right in the eye and say, “What trash?” even if the dogs are circling it like raccoons and you are standing directly over it and pointing.  No matter where that large 30-gallon bag is placed, he has trained himself to maneuver around it and leave it behind as he walks out the door. I started out nicely asking him to take out the trash and have had little success with that route. I am at the point now where I find myself wondering if I threw it directly in front of him while he is walking out the door, and perchance caused an accident or worse, would it be considered Justifiable Homicide? The funny thing is my DD asked me to write something to read at her wedding and I even referenced taking out the trash.  Here is a small part of what I wrote and read to my daughter and son-in-law.

 

 

 

The second piece of advice is to lower your expectations.  I don’t mean on the big things like who handles the finances, deciding where to live, how many kids to have, or when to let your parents move in with you in their retirement years. I mean the little stuff and here is an example.  If you are always reminding your mate to take out the trash, don’t think because you are now married that it is going to change.  Just keep your expectations low and then you are pleasantly surprised if the trash goes out and not upset if it doesn’t.  It is like going to Best Buy and buying something “as is” and then expecting it to be perfect.  Consider this person you are marrying today to be “as is” and your life will be so much easier.  I am certainly not an expert on marriage, but I will tell you that I have been married for 32 years and our expectations are so low now that we have never been happier.

 

 

My husband kept his poker face on and just smiled like he didn’t have a care in the world.  If he knew I was talking about him, he gave no outward sign. What he did do, however, was wipe a tear from his eye and tell me he loved my speech and was very proud of me when I sat back down.  So, I guess in the scheme of things, I should take my own advice and realize I got a real deal with my “as is “ purchase, even if his observation skills need fine tuned from time to time. Besides, I really think Fudge and Vern might be the better candidates to take out the trash, since they are very good at noticing it the minute that bag leaves the can. Eventually, most of the trash would get to the curb. In our house, dogs are more observant.

 

What does all this mean? Well, I think I put my finger on another reason why I love my dogs so much. In my husband’s defense, he works long hours and comes home tired with a lot of things on his mind.  Grownups have so many responsibilities, but dogs don’t have to go to work, make the mortgage payment, mow the grass or fix the leak in the bathroom. They have all the time in the world to watch you and focus on you, because to them you are the universe. Everything you do is important to a dog because you are everything to them. I like that about dogs, a lot!  There really isn’t any way a mere mortal could ever compete with a dog’s observation abilities. In our world, dogs will always be more observant!

 

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Laurie - I think this explains part of why I wanted a dog in the first place...the idea of being someone (or something's) universe was very appealing to me!  I love what you said at your daughter's wedding!  Such true and good advice! 

Dori - What would you say to a husband that you TELL to take out the trash...not once, but MULTIPLE times and he STILL doesn't do it??? (In his defense, he is a great guy in other ways, but a trash man he is not)!

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

another reason why dogs are better than men!

[KAHLUA]

That was awesome!  My husband does the laundry (talk about trained....)anyway he insists on folding the laundry in front of the TV.  Who am I to complain?  But when he gets to the bottom on the laundry basket and is missing socks, he ALWAYS says, what happens to socks around this house?  Then he looks up and there sits Miss Kahlua, with "missing" socks.  BTW, Kahlua is only about 3 feet from where my husband is folding clothes, and what does he say......"How does she do that?"  My response..."Isn't she an amazing dog????"  What we do to overlook our husband's lack of observant skills! 

[Dori & Rua]

Oh Laurie...just loved your blog.  I got to the garbage part of your story and cracked up.  

 

DH and I just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary on Sunday.  We both had starter spouses (15 and 20 years), so we were well aware of our flaws...they had been repeatedly pointed out by our prior spouses.  My DH started right out and said "I am not a mind reader".  If the trash is full, and you want me to take out the trash, just tell me.  Don't make me wrong because you want it out but don't let me know it needs to be taken out.  He also said, if you want flowers, don't expect me to "know"...tell me. 

 

When he moved in with me before we got married, we sat down and went through the list of chores that needed to be done to run a household.  I was not going to work and do everything again.  He hated grocery shopping and cooking...I hated cleaning up after dinner, worked perfectly. Dust, I don't like being able to write my name in the dust but he wouldn't notice, so I dust and he vacuums.  He likes a nicely mowed and groomed lawn (he has a mowing schedule...one time he goes parallel to the house, the next perpendicular, the next diagonally - come on, like it really matters), I like my bed made on weekends :-).  We have to switch things off every now and then, but for the most part, we share.  He is actually quite observant about the garbage.  I am the one shoving stuff down to fit more!

 

You are so right, Laurie, "as is" purchases can sometimes be better!  After all, one woman's trash is another's treasure!

[BG and Gavin]

Donna K would want to know if the new rug matches the curtains :D

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

So funny and so true!!  About the only time my husband is observant is when I'm trying to get away with something.  Living in earthquake country, our rule (well actually it's his rule for me to follow) is to never let the gas tank fall below 1/2 full.  "If we have the big one and we have to get somewhere safer, don't come crying to me if you're out of gas!"  Anyway, I'm not that great about following the rule and if I drive into the garage low on gas, somehow he knows!!!

[Anna and Achilles]

As always Laurie a great blog. I have to say that my 3 sons are the same with the garbage. They could lift the lid try to squish something in and it would never dawn on them to take it out. Funny part is if I asked them to do it they would have absolutely no problem doing it. Go figure, it just must come down to observation!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Peri would notice if a penny was left on the ground somewhere...she'd smell it like it was an imposter!  So funny!!!!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Amen!!!  You said it perfectly, Laurie. I must admit though, if my DH followed me around the house staring at me all day the way the Doods do, it would MAKE ME CRAZY!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, You made me laugh again. I have been told I can be long-winded. Good point about the mortgage. LOL

Mimi, Thank you...so true!!

Sue, Thank you! I am sure the hair color was beautiful. I have to say sometimes I don't notice when he gets his hair cut either :)

Jane, I love the part about the tools. The same thing happens here. He will leave a little piece of paper lying about for 10 days and the minute I throw it away, he wants to know what happened to it. Go figure is right!!

Lisa, Thank you!! Congratulations on the 29 years and Sue too, for the 28 years.