The Tour de Pennsylvania! (Just like the Tour de France, only Shorter Distance and Less Fit Riders)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

I recently wrote a blog about how much I hate the Tour de France from a wife’s point of view.  Writing that blog and reading the comments, however, inspired me to get back on my bike this week despite the heat. Because of the terrible heat we are experiencing here in Pennsylvania, I brought along lots of water and my IPod.  Usually, I worry about drinking a lot of water and having no bathrooms along the way, but after Lynda told me that the riders in the Tour de France do not waste time on potty breaks and opt instead to pee themselves and let the urine either soak through or blow away, I am more worried now about what the rider ahead of me is doing.  I am thinking anyone riding directly behind one of those “pee as you go” types is not going to be impressed with their multi tasking abilities.

 

Lynda also said that bike riders do not wear underwear with their bike shorts, and that was certainly evident in the picture Karen posted in my blog, but I feel like I am standing on the edge of a precipice. Michael Phelps probably felt the same way when someone said this is what you need to wear to win Olympic Gold Medals.

 

I am just not sure I am willing to let nothing come between my khaki cotton skort and me just so I can pass a couple of senior citizens up on the rail trail.  I have to draw the line somewhere.

 

Really, who am I kidding?  I got back on the bike today because I need to get in shape by next week when I attend a family reunion.  I have about 8 days to get my body looking like Valerie Bertinelli’s about two days into her Jenny Craig diet. At this point, that is the best I can hope for in the amount of time I allotted to make this work. If this means I have to pee while I am riding my bike and stand on my bed naked and jump into a pair of bike shorts, I guess that is what it has come to in my desperation.

 

The first leg of my personalized Tour de Pennsylvania ride today was good.  I have to say if you are single, there are a lot of single males on the rail trail in the middle of the day. I passed walkers, bike riders and runners.  I never wear my wedding ring when I ride, but I later assured my husband that I didn’t want him to worry when he was at work that I was riding around without my wedding ring and someone was going to steal his trophy wife out from under him.  All he said was he wondered what the hell kind of contest he had won. 

 

I did pass a couple of guys not wearing shirts today that I felt had clearly not looked in a mirror in a good long time or if they had, it was one of the carnival mirrors that makes you look much thinner.  If this diet thing does not work out, I am having one of those mirrors installed when we renovate our bathroom. Maybe I should also post a note on the suggestion wall that they hire someone like they do at amusement parks who measures to see if you are tall enough to go on a ride. This person would have a tape measure and take your measurements and see if you are a candidate for the shirtless look on the trail.  Anyway, I wish people would be more considerate. You certainly won't see me taking my shirt off and showing everyone the effects that childbirth can have on a woman’s body when she gains far more weight than is warranted to pop out a 6 pound baby. Some things are better left to yourself, people!!  This morning I also read they caught a man who had been flashing men and women in the area and I have to tell you if I am on the tail end of my ride and some idiot jumps out at me and wants to play the “Wiener, No Wiener Game,” I am going to plow right over him and yell, “Teeny weeny wiener,” just to let him know that I am at the point in my ride where it needs to be over.

 

I rode today and I am riding tomorrow.  The only problem with tomorrow is the person I ride with has my same attitude when we ride. We like to meander up the trail, talking and laughing, and stopping every now and then for a break. It is much different than when I ride with my husband.  Sometimes I will say, “We have been riding for about 20 miles. Do you think we could stop for a snack?” He never fails to answer back, “For god sakes, it hasn’t even been a mile. It is too soon to stop.”  My friend always says it sounds like a good idea and where do you think we are going for lunch. I think the next time my DH says to keep going, I am going to tell him to ride closely behind me, because I just learned something new on DoodleKisses that I would like to try out.

 

Yesterday, as I was riding on my solitary ride, I looked upward and said, “Just give me a sign that you want me to either continue pedaling my bike in this quest to lose a few pounds or it is ok with you if I forever remain the before picture and stay chubby,” and believe it or not, I looked down as I almost ran over a snake.  I could only deduce that someone wanted me to continue pedaling and at a much faster pace. That’s as clear as it gets in my book, so it’s back out on the trail for me for the next leg of the Tour de Pennsylvania.

 

 

 

[Taylor & Huff]

Ok this is probobly one of the funniest posts (and the longest) I have heard from you which is saying a lot.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

oh you guys crack me up. I needed this on a friday afternoon in the office. Thanks for the laughs :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Loved all the comments. Nancie, You need to come to PA and give me a crash course in Photoshop :)

[Tina, Clover, Plus 5 More]

I knew my friends on DK would have a good time with this. 

Laurie, you and your witty blog made the perfect setup for this.  Thank you

F, you are right it is the best!

Donna, that is perfect!

Nancie, you are cracking me up!

 

[F, Calla & Luca]

Nancie, you are a pip!

[Nancie & Gracie Doodle]

[F, Calla & Luca]

Positively perfect.

[Nancie & Gracie Doodle]

Donna...that would be perfect!!!!

[Donna K & Quincy]

We just have to get "It's all about the doodle" printed on the back of Lauries's Intercourse, Pa t-shirt.

[F, Calla & Luca]

This is the best triple entendre word!! Sometimes I look up some doodle thing and it's all about drawing. Now this! Who knows what the next meaning will bring It really is all about the doodle : )