To Bark or not to Bark!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

We love Vern. We really do, but with the windows open all night, he has taken to barking at lots of noises throughout the night.  Last night, John let the dogs out and said he knew something was out there because he could hear something like a chain rattle.  I don’t know about you, but I have a vivid imagination and I have seen enough horror movies to know you don’t go looking for something or someone rattling a chain late at night.  Nothing good ever happens when you do.  Since our property has a cornfield on one side and the corn is quite high, I would have no problem watching someone go to investigate, but if that person screams out, “the children of the corn are real,” the most help they would get from me as a backup is a slam of the door and a scream back, “it’s been nice knowing you!” 

I am perfectly fine letting things be at night and talking about it in the morning, but Vern seems to want to alert us that we are missing out on some great stuff out in the yard and sometimes gets Fudge in on the party.  When that happens we can hear them moving from window to window and serenading us with one deep bark and a very ladylike, high-pitched bark.  If we get lucky, it eventually stops as quickly as it started and we all go back to sleep.  If we don’t get lucky, one of us gets up and let’s them out hoping for one of two conclusions 1) their investigation turns up nothing or 2) their investigation turns up something or someone who ties them up and gags them so we can all go back to bed.

 

I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because I do appreciate knowing that Vern is on duty 24/7 and Fudge is there for backup at least 4/7, but too much of a good thing can still be too much.  He barks at the neighbors every single time he sees them outside and when they put their fall decorations up, which included a scarecrow; his watchdog duties were elevated to a red alert level, which in Vern’s world is the equivalent of a terrorist invasion.

He can’t seem to get it through his head that the man he keeps barking at has not moved one inch in days and is sitting on a pole.  He barks if he sees a car or truck pull into their driveway and I have told him plenty of times, we are the ones who feed him and they can get their own watchdog, but he doesn’t listen.  If he is in the backyard and he hears the neighbor kids laughing or playing, he barks to let them know to keep the noise down and when their school bus pulls up, he barks to let them know to have a good day. Sometimes, in the morning he runs outside and gives a woof woof  just to say, “good morning world, Vern is up.” 

There is really no rhyme or reason as to when he decides to bark and when he doesn’t and he will go long periods of time without uttering a sound and then all of a sudden look outside and see I have parked my car in a different spot and assume the worst. 

 

He is determined to meet the cat next door and will sit for hours staring through our deer fencing just willing that cat to make an appearance. 

Unfortunately, the few times it has shown up, he waits until it gets close and then barks, which I can only assume by the cat’s fleeing backside is not the best way to introduce himself.  If he looks out our window and happens to see John in the garage, he never seems to say to himself, “I know that person,” and I find myself saying, “Vern, it’s dad….that’s John….for god sakes, Vern, you know who that is,” but he usually continues to alert us to stranger danger until the “stranger” comes in the house.  If Vern were playing the part of Lassie and came home to tell us little Timmy was stuck in a mineshaft, poor Timmy might stay in there for days as we sat around saying, “what is Vern barking at now?” Even Fudge seems to know the difference in his barks and often times will give a slight perfunctory nod of her head and then fall back asleep.

The funny thing is the other night when John let them out to investigate the “great rattling” noise all of a sudden he could no longer see Vern in our yard. Vern can surprise you when you least expect it, because he does have a few tricks up his paws, although we can’t be sure if pushing his way through the deer fencing is deliberate or he just happens to be leaning on it to get a closer look at something and the poor deer fencing gives way under the pressure of Vern’s weight.  Either way, we are thankful it is Vern that gets out and not Fudge, because once Vern figures out everything he loves is on the other side of the fence, he wants back in.  Fudge would only miss us after she had been off and running for a couple of hours and luckily she has not figured out how to duplicate Vern’s great escape. Anyways, back to the other night and as John called out for Vern in the dark, not a peep came from the “great barker of the Northeast,” and John had to finally go inside for a flashlight.  As he shone the light into the darkness, it finally landed on a large white dog standing at the gate, wagging his tail, who seemed just as happy to be found, as John was to find him.  I guess he figured since he was outside our gate it wouldn’t be prudent to call attention to himself. After all, you never know what is out there and it is important to keep your enemies on their toes.  Vern, the best watchdog in the world, knows his business.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Vern, you continue to be the most adorable guy!  And I don't blame you for barking at that scarecrow.  It's not that he hasn't moved...it's that he hasn't left!  

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

Love your blog- as always, thanks for the laughs! 

Quincy always keeps me company while I am in the shower, which is usually a good thing since if I am home alone, I never fail to think of the shower scene in Psycho.  Well-it back fired yesterday when I opened the door and Quincy stood at the top of the stairs, starting barking his head off.  I thought for sure Bates was down there in my kitchen with a carving knife.  

He and Vern could get lost in the night together!  

[F, Calla & Luca]

Thanks.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

F -- we just have the little lite that clips on the collar and we leave it laying by the back door and when we let them out after dark we clip it on and then take it off when she comes in.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I have thought about those light or LED collars. One more thing to photoshop out : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sheila, I think the Children of the Corn head up your way in the winter :) I gave them directions to your house :) LOL Thank you!! I could do better with the barking, but then again, I could do better....period :)

Sheri, Send her here....Lucy will come back with more bad habits than you can believe :) Lucy must have been playing hide and seek and wasn't ready to be found. That sounds like our Fudge :) The flashing red light on their collar seems like a great idea.

F, Forgot your dog for two hours.....now I know you are John's sister :)

[Sheila & Finnley]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love Vern ! ♥

Finnley has gotten much better with her barking. If I see her looking out the window, and she starts to make the lowest of noises, I immediately start saying, "No barking Finnley, no barking." Then I praise her when she doesn't. I started that when Finnley.... much like Vern thought the flags hanging on the neighbors front porch were a threat to us all.

You think like I do with that whole Children of the Corn example. That is exactly what I would think about too. However her is one that no one ever thinks about. Where do those kids go in the winter, or when the corn gets harvested ? Just a thought for you to ponder.

I'm so glad that Vern does know to come right back after he has gotten out and scoped the danger. Fudge is just an adventurer I guess. Hope she never learns all of  Vern's secret way's !

Loved the blog ! ♥ 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I'm thinking that since there is already so much barking at your house that you wouldn't even notice if I sent Lucy up there since she is the same exact way (don't want her teaching AnnaBelle bad habits)  ... however, then I thought well crap, that won't work as Vern will probably just bark at her then Laurie will send her home.  We had a little panic the other night when we let Lucy out for her bedtime potty.  DH was looking for her and couldn't find her (picture night time and black dog).  Went and got the flash light, couldn't find her.  Called her and called her,  not a peep.  Then I took the flashlight and looked and looked, nothing.  I knew she had to be in the yard, as DH was outside the whole time so nobody opened the gate and took her and both gates were closed.  Finally, DH found her in between the little yard barn and two big bushes that I call the mucus bushes (they remind me of those big green mucus guys on the musinex commercials).  She was just laying behind them.  We had looked there at least 3 times and didn't see her.   I'm guessing a bunny ran under the shed.  Anyway, now Lucy gets one of those little flashing red lights clipped to her collar when she goes outside after dark.

[F, Calla & Luca]

It's amazing how different they all are. My dogs never bark when I come home. Luca will vocalize if her really has to go out and he will bark to come in. Calla says nothing. To go out you get the parade and the look. I once forgot her outside for 2 hours because she will just wait. Yet she is the biggest barker at invaders on the street.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, Never....we need Vern inside to keep watch over us :)

Donna, I love that name and my mom would have been thrilled. After all, The Price is Right, is her favorite show. Ok...Vern-Bob Barker.....I like it!! Our Hershey would just sit patiently, too. She rarely barked at anything. Quincy is such a sweet Doodle to just wait patiently.

Cyndi, LOL about Sully grabbing his fox and running upstairs. I am with him :) LOL Yes, up at the park, different cars make Fudge react...it is something about someone driving slowly by...what is that about?? I am so happy we live where no one walks by or we would go nuts. Our DD home for the holidays came in one night at 2:00 am and our dogs went ballistic. She told me in the morning they were getting on her nerves :) Hmmmmm....I was thinking the same thing about her :) LOL

DJ, Oh boy, I hope the neighbors don't put out some holiday decorations like a Santa or something :) LOL

Carol, Vern thanks you. He knows you fully support him :) LOL

Gina, I would not even attempt to stay in a hotel with Vern. They would ask us to leave :) Can Barkfest be at your house and I go to a hotel? LOL

Thanks, Miss Ellie :)

Janie, Isn't it funny how they are all so different? Makes life interesting.

Joanna, Thank you! Your two are smart...they know who to bark at and when to stay silent :)