Vern Sees Dead People!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Last night on our nightly trek outside, Vern spooked me.  I had lots of company over the Easter holiday week, including our grandson, and his little portable crib is still up. No big deal, right?....unless, of course, my very large dog keeps stopping at night to look in the crib.  I wouldn’t care that he stops, despite the fact that I have rear-ended him once or twice, but he gets so excited as he looks into the empty crib and wags his tail and carries on like he sees something that I don’t. This is the part that creeps me out.

 

I like scary movies. I don’t know why, because I get very scared, spend a great deal of time grabbing the person next to me, and covering my eyes and ears and pleading with my date to tell me when I can look again.  The last scary movie I went to with my nephew, Jeremy, was The Conjuring and it took me a month before I could stand the sound of hands clapping.  It began with this horrible doll doing horrible things and of course, ended like it is just a matter of time before the horrible doll starts trouble again.  I like Criminal Minds, even though one episode in a campground bathroom still keeps me vigilant when I am in a public bathroom alone. Don’t get me started on Jaws. After that movie, I didn’t even like swimming in a lake and never fully appreciated John’s attempts at humor when he would come up behind me humming the “shark is getting ready to attack” song.

 

Even now, when I am on our beach vacation in North Carolina, I love the ocean, but I try and stay within a group of people in the water figuring my odds of surviving a shark attack are better if he has a greater selection to choose from amongst his human smorgasbord.  At the very least, I could push some unsuspecting person into the shark’s jaws as I swam for shore. There would be no newspaper story the next day proclaiming me a hero as I valiantly fought off a shark to save a member of my family, because I would be the person careening through the other swimmers in a mad dash for shore, shouting, “Get out of my way. I want to live!” I once told all my nieces and nephews my survival theory and now they consistently try and put me on an end when we are all in the water together.  I guess they think the shark will start with the first person he sees and since I am betting there is a lot to see of me under water, it seems like a reasonable plan to all, but me. I am also learning to be more guarded with my survival secrets. 

 

On occasion I have had the dogs growl at nothing and Vern barks at my neighbors every single time he sees them.  Sometimes, I think he may need glasses and I even warn house guests to identify themselves to Vern if they get up in the middle of the night.  My Uncle Bob got up at 1 am to eat a bowl of cereal once and came up from the basement looking like a crazy man with wild hair and boxer shots. Vern, understandably, unable to visually confirm that this was the same conservatively dressed man who usually sat in a chair in the living room watching Fox News, went wild.  Seriously, it woke the whole household and I was sure whatever was out there had come to kill us all, so of course, I suggested John be the one to investigate. When he came back alive and told me it was just Uncle Bob eating cereal, I couldn’t help but wonder what Vern would do if both my Uncle and Aunt had come up for a nightly snack.  I really think Vern is just being proactive and hedging all bets that sooner or later one of these times he barks it really is going to be for something important.  I tell him all the time he is my best watchdog, because to tell him he may need a refresher course in danger, seems mean.

 

Vern also doesn’t like things to be different. He doesn’t like his bed moved, or his toys put away, or someone sitting on his dog bed. When I mop the floor and move his beds, I can tell he is worried and just wants me to put everything back where it belongs. When the Frenchies are here and have the audacity to sleep on one of Vern’s beds, he will dig and roll on his Koolaroo bed until he calms himself down. He is far too polite to ask them to leave, but not so polite as to stop digging so we can hear the TV.  It makes sense to me that Vern would stop and take note of the crib since it is slightly in his way as he makes his way to the door and it deviates from his memorized floor plan, but what doesn’t make sense to me is that Vern stops, wags his tails, and stands there like he is greeting someone.  One night found me telling him over and over, “Vern, Archer is not here,” and moving the clean blanket in the crib to make a point.  When he continued to bounce around and peer over the top of the crib, it spooked me, and I have now convinced myself that Vern sees dead people, or at the very least, little spirits camping out in Archer’s crib.

 

He did it again last night and this weekend, we are putting that pack n’play crib back in the box because I am tired of trying to convince Vern and myself that nothing is there.  I am hoping that puts an end to this nonsense and the whole thing was all about Vern’s OCD when things are out of place.  If not, and I go downstairs and find the crib mysteriously set back up, we are getting a priest in here before Vern’s head starts to spin and I have to clean up green vomit.  That’s another movie that scared me. 

[F, Calla & Luca]

Spooky.

[Richard Crowe]

I met a man who had two doodles.  One was a certified rescue dog (seeking out lost or trapped people)  the other was a certified cadaver dog (searching out dead bodies after an incident such as earthquake).  Both of the dogs were certified therapy dogs.  

It was in their capacity of therapy dogs that the trio visited a retirement home.  The problem was that the cadaver dog alerted on a man who was not dead.  However, he died that night...

[Joani, Skadi & Elli]

Once again Laurie, whatever the subject, I find your blogs so incredibly hilarious and full of insight.  Thanks for the LOL and chuckles.

[Becka]

Laurie, I'm just now reading this blog and I am so reminded of the way Sadie has to look in the bathtub at least three times a day. Maybe she's checking for ghosts? Once, when she was a puppy, she barked at a sponge that had fallen in the tub--she knew it wasn't supposed to be there, and like Vern, she doesn't like changes to her environment. But maybe I'm wrong--maybe the ghost in the tub put the sponge there, and Sadie has been on alert for it ever since!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

OMG--you did so much for ME, that you were exhausted.   I was too.  We had FUN.   

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, I think he went in the Farm Room and woofed for quite some time. Joanne, We miss you and you need to come back. I promise this time I will not lock you in the room all night while I sleep. LOL I still can't believe I did that to you. Vern does have a lot of beds and yes, I remember you trying them all out :) Woof, woof!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

You know, I wonder if Vern went into the Farm Room and wagged his tail for a few days after I left NOT!

I know first hand, Vern gave me the stink eye when I was in his beds. Yes, beds. OMG--he has so many beds. I felt like Goldy Locks trying them all out.  Each bed, he continued to give me the looks.   

When he barked at me, I adored his barks.  I barked back... nicley. I got into a lot of trouble and then Laurie gave me some stink eye.  LOL

So, this blog made me laugh because it all hit home.   I hope that Vern does not still see me in his bed and barks because that means I am dead. Right?

Vern reminds me so much of my huge Mastiff, Pete, in so many ways.    Loving. Always looking for good memories. He was so blind but would go up to things...NOT THERE and wag his tail.  When I went to look for another dog after he passed, I wanted one just like him.  I got the complete opposite but I got all the wonderful things, I did not know I wanted.

Love you Vern.  WOOF WOOF.  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Lonnie. LOL...the crib is still up :) 

Cheryl, LOL....what makes you think they are already in my bag? Vern has fallen in love with Archer and that is a good thing. You may be the first person to call Vern "pretty darn smart". LOL 

Thanks, Janie.

Thanks, Charlotte. I think you may be right. 

[Lonnie & Libby Lu]

Awww, this is so sweet and what a devoted boy he is to Archer.  He smells him, sees him and wants him to be in the crib!  I personally don't blame him Grandma!  Also, I'm with Vern, I like everything in its place!   Great blog Laurie!

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

It sounds like either Vern has fallen head over heels for Archer and just wants him back where he's supposed to be OR he has created an imaginary friend -which if you think about it, is pretty darn smart!   Vern, I love you big guy, you are the sweetest (and I love this blog) ROTFL over Donna's comment!  Donna, don't give her any more things to put in that bag :0