We Survived the Beach!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

 

I wrote recently about our annual trip to the beach to see my husband’s side of the family. My sister in law has a beach house and we all pile in and get up close and personal with family.  This year we had more people than usual and had to add some cots, along with more air mattresses, into the mix for sleeping at night. We have taken a vote and determined our family has outgrown one beach house and next year the younger generation will be renting an additional beach house.

 

For me, most of the time, the drive to the beach is the worst part of the week. The beach house is in North Carolina and up until this year we have gone 95 South through Washington DC and Richmond. Two years ago, it was just my DH and me and we were unable to drive in the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) Lane and sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for what seemed like an eternity. Meanwhile, the HOV lane was moving at a fast clip and I begged my DH to take a chance and get in that lane.  I pleaded, whined, batted my eyes at him and promised him things he had only dreamed about up to this point in our marriage and all he said was, “does it involve duct tape and your mouth?” and continued to wait it out in the traffic.  By the time we got there, we were both ready to sign divorce papers, but he grabbed a beer and I spent an hour commiserating with the other wives about what a dunce I am married to and soon we all felt better.

 

This year armed with two GPS systems, one outdated map that I threw in at the last minute, and MapQuest directions, we decided to take some back roads and avoid the DC area altogether.  The trip was going perfectly and we all loved the new way until my DH decided that he did not like going through so many towns and wanted to get back on the highway.  I am not sure why he prefers the highway because all he does is discuss how stupid the other drivers are and by discuss, I mean swear and yell.  At some point, he pointed at me one too many times while ordering me to find this road or that road on our old map and let’s just say, the map did not survive the trip and might have accidentally been tossed out the window.  After that, whenever I said anything about where were we or how much farther, he would answer back that he had no idea since we did not have a map.  Our DD, along for the vacation, has grown accustomed to our loving banter on trips over the years and wisely packed her IPod. 

 

I have a large assortment of nieces and nephews and they range in age from 20 months to 36 years old. For some reason, most of them have picked me as the adult most likely to be immature on a trip and I get asked to go in the ocean with them, play tennis, play basketball, play card games, color, do hair, paint nails, and this year they wanted to bury me up to my neck in sand, which I politely declined.  They all seemed too eager and I was concerned I would never get out. I have tried explaining I am 54, but it does not seem to matter to these relentless children. One of my nephews knows the art of flattery and I think was complimenting me when he said, “You are in pretty good shape for someone so old.” It is not uncommon for the same nephew to come up to me in the ocean and tell me he just peed right beside me or another nephew to silly string me. I have asked their parents to discipline them, but all I get is something about me being an instigator and asking for it.

 

My super adorable, diplomatic, nine year old niece never fails to crack me up. This year we were on the front porch of her house and a 20 something girl walked down the street in a very small, very fitted, Fourth of July string bikini. I turned to my niece and said, “Well, I am so mad now, because I have that same bikini and tomorrow when we both show up at the beach wearing the same outfit it is going to be mighty embarrassing,” and my niece turned around and said sheepishly, “Aunt Laurie, I hope you are kidding.”  Her equally adorable sister would shake her head and say, “Really, Aunt Laurie?” every time she saw me on the computer checking out DK.

 

Most of the time we have to cook in the evenings and I hate to cook. This year, it seemed like we were cooking every night and I am not a fan of tuna on the grill, salmon on the grill, or chicken.  At one point I turned to the masses and said, “I am on vacation. I can cook at home and I don’t want to cook on vacation,” and my DH chose that opportunity to add, “When do you cook at home?”  I think I told him that question was not relevant and the point I was making was I could cook at home if I wanted to and maybe he could go back to not listening to most of what I say. My rant worked, though, because the next night we all went out to dinner.

 

We have been going on this trip for so long and to put that in perspective, one nephew was three when we started and graduates high school next year. Somehow, with the passing of time, my husband, his siblings and spouses, and me have become the odd assortment of aunts and uncles that they grew up with, who attended all of our weddings, came to the family stuff, and seemed old to all of us from the beginning. I just don’t remember getting to know them like I think our nieces and nephews know us. These kids know which aunt (me) can take a joke, which uncle calls them leeches when they hang on him in the ocean (my husband), which aunt makes amazing cookies (well, there are two, but enough about my sister-in-law), and which aunt and uncle look smoking hot in their bikini and Speedo (this is embarrassing, but my husband and me again).   The amazing thing is with all those people piled into one house we all get along.  There is little drama and a whole lot of laughs and fun.  Since my husband’s parents have died, it is our one opportunity to all get together each year and that beach house has become our new gathering place.  

 

I hope as time passes and all these kids grow up into adulthood, and I am going to borrow a lyric from Alan Jackson and his song Drive, that maybe one day they'll reach back in their file and pullout that old memory and think of me and smile.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I just want to join your family and meet at the beach house next year!  Pleeeeeeze.

[Jennifer and Jack]

You were in NC and didn't come to SC to see Jack and I??? Geeze... Next year we are going to see you and that is final,.. I will rig your husbands directions on his GPS and make it come to my house, I am right off the highway, granted not 95 but still a highway, that has to count for something????

[shelly]

Oh. Laurie... all I have to do is change the names (to protect the innocent) and  this is my family!  We all do live in the sme town, but each year or at least every other year we too pile into one, now sometimes 2 condos...my parents own time share and we ALL vacation together.  And I am the one who NEVER wants to cook... after all it IS called "VACATION" - duh!   You are building wonderful memories with your children, nieces and nephews that will be such a special time in their lives!  Sounds like your niece has YOUR sense of humor!  Good for her!  LOL

But... I am a bit disappointed! I kept scrolling down for pictures of YOU in that Patriotic bathing suit!  Now, that'll make a good "Snap, Caption and Pop" entry!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I needed this blog tonight! Wonderful. Just what I always envision, somehow I always want to go back to camp although I hated it at times as a kid : ) The closest I came in my adult life was a small boat cruise in Alaska. You are lucky to have this large menagerie of in-laws. We are always bemoaning the fact that the close family gets smaller, in some ways, with time. But we too are amused by the fact that we are now the old folks.

[Bonnie and Kona]

What a wonderful family tradition. I am so glad you have these people in your life and that they are lucky enough to have you!

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

loved loved loved this post.. I think I knew you in baby heaven. as anne of green gables would say "A kindred spirit"

[cheryl & oliver]

Another masterpiece from the brillant and best writer we have here. Not that we don't have other wonderful writers, but in my humble opinion, Laurie you are the master...I felt like I was there with you, with all the chaos and love happening all around you.  What wonderful memories your lucky family will have all their lives...I wonder if they know how really lucky they are????....Glad it was a wonderful time for all of you...

[Suzann, Rosey & Bandit]

dang all I was looking for was pictures, will have to come back amd READ:)