What should I do?

[Adrianne Matzkin]

Samantha has come to work with me since the day she came to live with us. We go to puppy classes every week, the dog park, take walks, nap, play ball - get the picture? There is rarely anywhere I go that she doesn't come with me. that is not because I am afraid to leave her but at this stage of my life we love just to stay home. Build a fire, watch a movie, football or whatever. I cook most nights or we bring in but we rarely are not for dinner.

So here is my dilema - if I am out of Samantha's sight, she gets very upset - that even means if I close the bathroom door. Even if she is with family when I get home she jumps on me (tho it is not allowed) as if I have been away for a lifetime. Lately, I have been leaving her home when I go to work and DH brings her in later when he does (I work for DH). She runs through the office to get to mine as if we have been seperated for a lifetime. It breaks my heart!

We have a ritual for when she does go out with me - I give her a quick brushing and then put her collar on. If she is not going out with me, then no brushing or collar. I leave without saying anything to her and when I get back I don't make a big deal about it.

Our vacation this year is driving (so we can take Samantha) to our apartment in Miami. We have no plans to go anywhere else but I would be worried about her if I have to go to visit my Mom who lives in Arizona. We do try and go once a year but not going this winter. I know she is 'just a dog' but she is my dog whom I love so much and the thought of her being so emotionally distressed really upsets me. If she gets that upset when we are separated for a few hours, I don't know how should would handle it if I had to be gone for days.

What can I do to make her more confident that I will always come back? I have created an emotional 'monster' - any suggestions?

[Adina P]

wow Samantha is very bonded to you! Rosco is pretty bonded to me, but I can still leave him alone just about anywhere. However, if that wasn't the case I am not sure what I would do other than a lot of practice sessions. She needs to learn that some of the signs of leaving don't always mean that you're gone. And to learn to be calm and relaxed even if alone, but I don't know how that's done I only know theory which is often useless in practice... LOL

[Adrianne Matzkin]

I guess I look like a big medium rare burger with all the fixins. That is hysterical!!
I guess I should have searched on separation aniexty before I posted this blog. In Puppy Madness, I read something AFTER all the typing and there were very good ideas. 'Practice' leaving and coming right back in, etc. I am going to try that when we get home (we are in Pittsbugh this weekend)
You asked about her behavior when I leave her - at work, she sits at the door to the office and barks, then whines, then goes and lays down in my office. My DH and daughter & I work together and daughter tells me that she won't even sit with her while I am gone. GUILT.
I haven't boarded a dog in 30 years. Our Beardie had Addisons Disease and could never go to the groomer (had someone come in his van to our home) or to a boarding facility. I paid friends of our daughters to stay at our home whenever we went away.
I am not afraid of using a boarding facility if I had to although my first choice would be someone staying at your home with her, I am afraid for her mental health while I would be gone. I am hoping with the practice leaving stuff that it may alleviate some of her anxiety of us being separated. I guess I will be doing lots and lots of practicing be gone when we get home.
Thanks for your kind words - it always helps when someone reminds you that you are not alone!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

How is Samantha when you are gone...when you leave her home to go to work, does she whine, cry, bark, etc., after you're gone? (I'm assuming your DH is there to observe & tell you.) The reason I'm asking is, just because she makes a huge fuss when she is finally "reunited" with you, doesn't necessarily mean she's miserable during the time you're out of her sight. Of course, they would rather you didn't go anywhere without them, and they're always thrilled to see you after the briefest absence (trip to the bathroom, lol), but usually, they manage to be okay in between. Even MY neurotic 'fraidy cat doodle is okay alone in the house during the day when I'm at work, although the scene when I get home would win an Oscar.
I have never boarded a dog in a commercial facility...somehow, I always had friends or relatives who could either come to my home, or the dog could go to theirs. That always worked fine for me with even the clingiest dog. (Of course, Jack has never been left with anyone other than the groomer, or at one of his friend's homes for a playdate, so me giving advice on this is kind of like the blind leading the blind...but Samantha is normal, LOL). All of my other dogs did great, and when I've kept my neighbor's dog while they're away, he's done fine, too. The goodbyes & hellos are really the only hard parts.
I'm not making light of your concerns, Adrianne, because I've always had the same ones and I know how much you love Samantha. But here's a line I love from a book on living with dogs: "Your dog is crazy about you...but he could also learn to love anyone else who is holding a hamburger."
As some of you have said to me, she knows how loved she is. And you have made good decisions. I am sure you will resolve this issue with no problems.