Would You Clone Me?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Recently someone asked the question if we would clone our dogs and the unanimous answer was a resounding no.  To me, it sounds a little creepy and far-fetched, but then again, when I was growing up I would have never believed that we would be listening to songs on a device no bigger than a credit card and would have the ability to see someone who lived halfway across the country on something called a computer.  It sounded just about as preposterous as Maxwell Smart’s shoe phone. 

I grew up in simpler times when kids actually went outside to play and did not sit around playing video games all day.  I had a record player that played 33’s and 45’s and if you wanted to change the TV channel you had to get up and do it yourself.  When my best friend and I thought the divorcee in our neighborhood was allowing her boyfriend to sleep over at night we set up surveillance which consisted of the two of us checking to see if his station wagon moved from outside her house all night and meeting to review the shocking evidence in the morning.  We didn’t use gizmos or gadgets or even common sense to get the job done.  So, I guess you could say I grew up at a time when technology didn’t seem to be so prevalent and really out there ideas like “cloning” seemed like something you might see on My Favorite Martian, Bewitched, or I Dream of Jeannie.

I hate to leave any young people with the idea that my generation was always a little behind the times, so all I will say is two words, Mister Ed, a show about a talking horse and proof that we had technology wonders a plenty back then in the dark ages.

Cloning does indeed seem spooky to me. Would we really want an exact replica of anyone?  I may be more interested if I could take a favorite person and tweak a little here and there.  If I cloned my husband, I would make the newer version faster. Nowhere is his lack of speed more apparent than when we are trying to take photographs together.  Photography is either going to make or break us as a couple and it may top the list of things we cannot do together. As of this date, the list includes racquetball, canoeing, jogging, museums, yard work, painting, television watching, anything involving instructions or manuals, anything involving maps, directions, or a GPS, shopping, dog training, and bicycling is on the fence. In fact, when I asked him what we did well together, he said sleeping, and then I reminded him that last week I woke up mad at him after having a bad dream.  I dreamed we went on a family cruise and the boat sank, but we were all rescued, except I couldn’t find him.  I was in a panic trying to locate him and walked into the cruise dining hall and there he was enjoying dinner with his family.  I got very angry and yelled, “have you even been looking for me?” and all he said back was, “I was hungry. What did you expect me to do first?”  It took me several minutes after I woke up to calm down and remember it was only a dream, but in those several minutes even sleeping seemed like something we wouldn’t be doing together too much longer.

I have been running around all week asking my family if they would clone me. The first thing John asked was whether or not the clone would talk. When I told him the clone would be exactly like me, he wanted to know if he could plead the Fifth. When I asked my oldest, Megan, she said I was weird and she wouldn’t want two of me and when I explained that it would only be if something happened to me, she said, “Mom, it would probably be best if we just moved on,” and then she started laughing and said, “good one, Megan!” My youngest, Hayley, didn’t really give an explanation, she just said a very loud NO.  On another phone conversation, I asked Megan to ask my son-in-law and the phone went dead, although I swear before it did, I heard a male voice say, “just tell her no one wants to clone her and put a stop to this nonsense.”

I also think cloning a person would get downright confusing, especially if the clone and original lived near each other. They say every one has a doppelganger and I have long suspected mine is out there because I get stopped every now and then and asked how someone I have never seen before might know me.  The few times I have replied, “maybe someone looks like me in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition or are you thinking about a Supermodel?” the questioner usually starts laughing.  Once, one of the old women at the place where I volunteered said, “no, that’s definitely not it at all,” and didn’t even crack a smile.  Since my family already seems irritated with my cloning questions, I wouldn’t even want to ask them what they would call my clone and me, mainly because they can be mean when they are irritated. I can just hear the answers, Thing 1 and Thing 2, Dumb and Dumber, Laurie and her Maxi Me, Bigmouth and Bigfoot, Wacky and Whacko, Laverne and Shirley, or Fossil and Hoary.  Take it from me those would have been some of the answers and they would have been laughing and high fiving each other the entire time as they were rattling the names off. I know these people.

 

Which brings me to my dogs, Fudge and Vern.  Would I clone them?  I still have to think the answer would be no, but then again who knows what lies ahead in the future with all the technological and scientific advancements happening all the time. Maybe my answer will change as they get older and I am faced with their loss.  I would hate to be like my mother someday complaining about all the newfangled things out there and still longing for her old Selectric Typewriter.  I just hope if cloning people does happen, I am still around to volunteer myself, so that Fossil and Hoary can tag team the people in my life and force them to finally listen to the sage advice I have been doling out for years.  I figure they don’t stand a chance against the two of us.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Janie, You raise a good point about not knowing our current dogs if we had cloned a previous dog. BTW, I am thinking your trainer must be a real beauty, meatballs or not :)

Thank you, Jane! So far, I have one vote :)

Oops....counting Bonnie, I now have two votes!! Thanks, Bonnie!

The count is mounting....I am up to three with Camilla, but I think she is trying to stir up trouble :) LOL

DJ, WTD :)

F, Uh oh....you need that mind for future comments. Stop listening to these lectures. Mindless sitcoms is the way to go :) LOL

Jane, We had the same problem with our Hayley as your friends. No one could tell us definitely what we were dealing with and we had to spend a lot of time explaining trying to get the help she needed.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

LOL F, but really that is incredibly exciting.  When our Tim was growing up we had many friends with Autistic kids...but oh how they struggled for the diagnosis.  We always felt fortunate that Tim had the DS diagnosis because it was key to driving so many of his services that have enabled him to be so independent.  These poor parents had to find a Physician willing to give that written diagnosis, and it was so difficult.  It seems with the new technology that eliminates that frustration for the parents....although it opens up another whole "can of worms" in terms of resources and funding of programs.

[F, Calla & Luca]

No clone can ever be like the original in terms of people because so much of what we are is based on life experience. That said technology is still knocking my socks off, so who knows. Lat night I heard a lecture involving all kinds of diagnostic possibilities based on what are now everday MRIs. No matter that they didn't exist when I was studying. I'm talking about diagnosing Autism and Schizophrenia. Unbelievable. It blew what little I have left of my mind.

[DJ & Chance]

Go John and Megan and Hayley!

[Camilla and Darwin]

I think I would say yes, but I say yes to cloning you and have you both a part of DK. I would like to see how two Laurie's on DK would pan out.... LOL

Love this blog, you're the best!

[Bonnie and Kona]

If cloning means more blogs, I vote "yes"! 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I vote for cloning you, Laurie!  Who else would write these blogs for us? 

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

I agree that cloning does sound creepy and far fetched, but like you said, you never know what the future brings. I would think I would always want a Jack or Jilly in my life, but then if I could have cloned my previous dog, I would have never known my Jack and Jilly, so maybe things happen like they are meant to be for a reason.

On another note, Jilly's trainer looks just like you and although her name is Sara, I have called her Laurie a number of times. I just checked their website for a photo, but don't see the trainer's photos listed. This class ended on Monday or else I might have tried to take my own photo somehow! But your double is alive and well training dogs with a pocket full of meatballs and having their full attention!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Amy. I am not sure why that line amused you so much. LOL Yes, my clone would have to have a F&V clone. We are like a set :)

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

well you have a clone your clone will need a Fudge and Vern.  I almost spit out my milk when I read your "Maxi Me" line. Love it!!