Training an older puppy/Why did i do this? help

[Becky, Savannah, & Raleigh]

Hi all. I am needing some help and some reassurance. It's been nearly 2 weeks since we brought in our 2nd doodle, Raleigh, to live with us. We got him from a small rescue group in NJ. (not the DRC or IDOG) It has been filled with some ups and downs, and at times i've really questioned my sanity and why i did this. Plus, a couple members of my family asked why i rocked the boat and added another dog to the house-hold, when we had such a great dog who listened and who really is fantastic. (members that do not live with us) My dad even made the comment that he seems like a great dog, but would probably do best in a one-dog household where he does't have to share the attention with our older dog, whom everyone adores.  Raleigh is 8 months old (two months older than we were told he was), he's not as trained as we were told he was,he's not quite as potty-trained, (like they said he was), and he hates his crate (which we were told he would be fine in one)  and he's a lot bigger than we thought. He's right around 60lbs, which is an easy 15 lbs on our goldendoodle girl.

I hate than I am having second thoughts, and the idea of giving him back makes me feel sick to my stomach.I thought that getting an "older puppy" from rescue was the way to go, but i'm having doubts. He is physically so  strong and seems to be a touch ADHD. He is a sweet lovable boy who needs us, and i am needing some help and suggestions as to how to train him and get him through some of the hurdles we've been encountering. I also need some reassurance that i'm not crazy and that deep down i know we will have made a good choice.  There are moments when he does do the right thing and listens and is really fantastic. Did any of you ever just feel like you loved your first doodle so much that there was no way another one could even come close?

Do any of you have your other doodles present when trying to teach commands? I have tried it both ways. He seems to be looking everywhere for Savannah when she's not with us. (He cried and whined the day i normally take Van to doggie day care, so i had to cancel it so she'd be home there with him.)  Did you do a formalized training class with each new addition to the family? We did one with Van, but she was our first dog as a couple.

I also work full time and have been coming home during my lunch break to let them out for 30-45 mins. For those that work full time, how did you make transitioning a new dog into the household easier?

I know this post sounds terrible, but after spending some time with my family and hearing their true opinions and feelings on our new addition, i'm really feeling upset. Any and all comments would be welcome. thank you.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Becky, I have posted before about the rescue experience we had when we adopted an older lab. We got her on a Saturday and on Monday, I tried to take a tick out of her ear and heard this odd noise and looked down to see her baring her teeth at me and growling. To say I was shocked, was an understatement. I think someone hurt her previously with her ears and it took months of me handling her ears for her to finally be at ease. Day six she destroyed our front door...the rescue organization did not tell us that she had severe separation anxiety. In their defense, she was fostered with five other dogs and came to us (no other dogs) and I think she needed other dogs. Talk about questioning my decision, I had my rescue contact on speed dial and kept saying I had made a huge mistake. She kept telling me to give it time. It took Honey about 3 weeks to show us more of her true personality and yes, I did fall in love with her despite all of her quirks.

What helped me was I found a wonderful dog trainer, wonderful pet sitter, and just accepted her for the dog she was. I also worked with our vet on her anxiety and we did have to use medication. I saw you and your dogs at the dog park and you were great with both of them. It is normal to question bringing any new dog into your household, even if they come baggage free. Raleigh has probably had a tough start, yet he seemed like a wonderful dog. Your love and acceptance will continue to unearth all of his potential. I know family means well, but right now you need positive comments and encouragement that you did a really good thing. I think you did and I think you will grow to love him as much as Savannah. Meanwhile, if I can help you in any way, please email.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I really admire your honesty. We just added a rescued/shelter doodle to our family and I question whether we should have done this. Clancy makes four dogs - and = what was I thinking!!!???? We go in our RV a lot and four dogs is gonna' be really difficult to manage. Clancy has some nice manners but he knows no commands - like he doesn't even acknowledge such a thing as commands. It has been two weeks for us and we are getting a sit before giving him his food. That is our progress so far..... Clancy really is needy for attention - people attention. I think he would be happiest in an only doodle house, but I know he is so grateful to be out of the shelter. It is early days yet, but he is two so some of his habits are already set so......
I would take him to obedience classes, and I would give him time without Savannah and just with you even if he whines for Savannah. I think in the long run, it will give him confidence and help all of you to bond. We went camping last week and took only the two doodles (as opposed to 4 dogs in a clown car) so that we could concentrate on Clancy.
I remind myself when my husband and I had our third child - a long time after the other two. We were so excited and thrilled and all of that stuff, THEN suddenly reality set in and we both turned to each other and said that we weren't up to starting over... Of course there was no alternative, so we settled in, and this third child has been such a joy and a pleasure. I am giving Clancy lots more time.......

[Becky, Savannah, & Raleigh]

Wow! Thank you everyone for all the great stories and support. it's very encouraging to know a lot of us are going through/have been through the same things. My outlook is much better as we go through the week. Raleigh is still somewhat of a crazy man, but I am learning to be more patient, and when i feel as if i've really messed up with bringing him into our home, i re-read this post. he is a good boy, and we are very fortunate in the fact that he is sweet-natured and doesn't seem to have too much baggage, just is in need of manners and a good neuter...hahaha(that happens thurs). We are planning to start beginner dog training tonight, so i'm looking forward to that. We have been working on sit and "house". "House" is a command that we taught Savannah very early on in which we get her ot go to her bed and lie down. we would point to her bed and say "house" and she runs to it; raleigh is slowly picking this up. It's also a great command for when Van runs over to visit our neighbors and we need to get her back to our house..unfortunately, raleigh has picked up on the fact that our neighbors absolutely adore Van (and him), so he thinks that their yard and house are on-limits....needless to say, i've been keeping him on a leash each and everytime we are outside now.

thank you all for the support and advice. I really really really appreciate it. I have decided to keep my distance with the dogs from my family for now. I think Raleigh needs to just get acquainted with us and learn our house-rules first before he can go and visit others' houses.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Yea Yea! Clancy is getting the 'wait' when I am going up or down the stairs instead of rushing by me! And he hasn't lifted his leg IN the house since we got back on Sunday - oh it is only Tuesday - well still he has not lifted his leg IN he house. I am dancing about this one!

[Becky, Savannah, & Raleigh]

yay! this is soooo great! Last night was our first beginner obedience puppy school class. Raleigh did great! We are in class with 3 other (mostly older puppy and adult) dogs. We learned some attention-keeping games and tricks. He seems to be the class clown. He army-crawled from our little corner spot to the bed in front of the teacher and tried to sneak into the trainers treat closet. I was so proud until he came home adn peed in the house twice. We had a guest over so i'm wondering if that had something to do with it. It was both an encouraging and discouraging evening. Our biggest issue now is his great interest in the one cat. Rip is super friendly and very doglike. Raleigh will not leave him alone! he always wants to sniff and chase him. suggestions on how to stop this would be GREAT!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

It was suggested to me that the in-house leg lifting might quit after they are settled in and comfortable. I really, truly hope so. If it does, I will still never completely trust him when we take him somewhere - like a friend's. I don't have experience with dogs and cats other than we don't have any and our dogs do not like strange critters in our yard. Others on dk have lots of experience. If you don't get any responses here, post it as a new discussion.

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I think you have found the advice you needed on here. I agree to pretend like he is 8 weeks old vs. 8 months old and start the training (and major BONDING that ensues with training) now.
I just have to echo other sentiments that another dog is not always easy...especially at first. Peri (mini doodle) was not a rescue, but she IS our 2nd dog. This post makes me remember how I was feeling less than a year ago - last summer when we brought her home, was really, really hard. I loved her from Day 1, but if I am really honest, I will admit I had breakdowns and wondered "what the he*& have I done disrupting my easy one dog household life?". That was not a daily occurance by any means, but it is hard adjusting to things. At her current age of 1 year old, Peri is certainly not perfect, but I cannot even possibly imagine life without her. She is not obedient 100% of the time, she gets the zoomies still, but heck, who's perfect?
Keep your head up - as long as you and your family are bonding with Raleigh, don't worry about what others think. I also suggest lots of family walks with BOTH dogs, play time with both, etc....it will get better.
And feel free to vent anytime to DK. I think others can agree it is a truly valuable resource.

[Deb, Connor & Simon]

When I brought my Connor home, he was almost 5 months old and had only lived in a house for 2 1/2 wks. He was a puppy mill rescue @ 3 months, but was too sick for us to get him sooner. I had a senior newfie in poor health and a 6 yr old collie. It was bedlam!! Connor had no manners, thought our furniture cushions were play toys and even tried sleeping in our front window sill! My poor newfie barked all the time because he had severe arthritis (among other things) and didn't want the other dogs to touch him. The collie was jealous! I cried more than once over the dog dynamic. It was pitiful!!
I tried obedience training on my own and tried 2 different trainers. At 8 months, I enrolled Connor in an 8-week PetsMart beginner's class. He did great! My collie started to adjust. My newfie got sicker and passed away 6 months after we got Connor. In those 6 months, the two got to be buddies. Two wks before my newfie died, the two of them looked like they held paws during quiet times after dinner.
It was not easy for the first few months, but the obedience classes helped a lot. After intermediate and advanced, I also took a Pack Order class to brush up on my skills. I also tried to spend time with each dog individually, as well as together. At 22 months, Connor got his Therapy Dog certification.
And like a fool, 2 weeks after Connor's 2nd birthday, we added another doodle. This time a 4 month old Australian Labradoodle. He has a completely different personality, but is now in intermediate obedience classes. I just signed him up for advanced starting mid-May.
Please know as your new baby gets to know the family better and your dogs adjust to each other, things will improve. As you can tell, I'm a strong believer in Obedience classes. :-) It takes at least 2 yr for your baby's brain to fully develop from a puppy brain to a dog brain. Obedience and a sense of humor help. :-)
As far as family opinion goes, if you had a second child would they be critical? It's your house, your dogs or kids or cats or whatever. They'll adjust, too. :-)
This is about the best place in the world to post and have at least a dozen ppl understand how you feel. :-)
Hang in there, there is only one thing better than one doodle....two or three doodles! :-)

[HeatherA]

Something my trainer warned me about, sounds like it could be happening with you. When you have multiple dogs sometimes the dog will bond with the other dog(s) instead of the humans. Make sure you are getting a lot of alone time with your new Doodle. Do everything with him you did with your first doodle -- and do it alone. Enroll in a puppy basics class - alone. I agree with the start fresh mentality -- don't expect any training and give this new guy the patience and time he deserves to learn how to be a good family member. Load up on dog treats and show him how rewarding it is to please you. Remember that basic training and good habits might take you three months of consistent behavior but in the long run - 3 months is NOTHING. You're going to have a second, wonderful companion.

Good luck, don't be discouraged!

[Lynda Kamrath]

I was concerned about the crate question. If Raleigh is already 60 pounds, a crate may not feel comforting to him. What size is the crate? My dogs were never crate trained except in the car and they are really too large for a crate. If you want him to feel comfortable in a crate, leave the door open and put the toys and treats that he likes best into the crate. He will eventually go in and crew on treats and play with toys. Don't close the door or he may feel trapped. I agree that training classes with you alone would be of benefit for both of you.
I can't imagine only having one dog as they are so attached to each other. However, every once in a while we take one dog out with us and leave the other at home with another human. We don't leave the dogs at home alone but they are fine at staying in the house for up to four hours with each other. We have never had any damage since they were puppies. You will learn to love having two dogs.

[Becky, Savannah, & Raleigh]

Thank you to everyone who recently replied to this post. I wrote this at a time when we first brought Raleigh home (almost 5 months ago) and I was really questioning my decision. Raleigh is doing fantastic, and we are finally enjoying being a 2 dog family. Raleigh just had his first birthday, and reflecting back, it has been quite the year for him!! In just 8 short months he was in three different living environments, had to learn three sets of different rules, etc. The longer he is with us, the more we are able to see his true colors emerge....He and Savannah were BFFs from day one, and she is a wonderful role model to Raleigh. My family is even enjoying him more, and can see the value and beauty in his rescue. I truly believe that a lot of the advice I got on DK helped save Raleigh from a return to the rescue. He has completed his beginner training class and we even worked with a trainer one-on-one to redirect his cat chasing behavior. He is a much happier and balanced boy, and we are enjoying the goofball that he truly is. (ie: he lets out a huge "goodmorning" howl when it's time to wake up and eat breakfast) He has been to the beach, goes to daycare every week, has gone swimming several times, and was even featured in a snipet on our local news station where he was swimming in the pool for a rescue organization's fundraiser!!

He now enjoys his crate and we are finding that we are allowing him more freedom from it during the day and at night. He, however, sometimes prefers to sleep in there because I assume it makes him feel safe. It is really huge crate that gives him more than enough room, as he's now probably over 75 lbs. Vannah is so sweet in that she lies right next to him on her bed when it's time for them to settle when I go to work. They are in such a great routine!

While I think that things were easier with just one dog (and definitely less expensive!), I think we were meant to have Raleigh. My husband recently commented to me how good he felt that we were able to save him and give him a great home..that definitely made me smile and it is true. I think he knows that he is special and appreciates us. We look forward to watching him grow and becoming even more part of our family.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I noticed the new entries in this discussion and really appreciate that you responded with an update. This is a great discussion for people who find themselves in the same situation and could use some advice.