Training- When others in the Household are not helping (Part Vent)

[Pam & Trixie]

I thought about posting this in the Training group...But since it is about Puppy training I decided to put it here.

 

I am wondering what others do when Spouses or Children (old enough to help) Dont help with the training. (or do it all wrong : o  ....   So maybe I just need to Vent!

 

My dh does not follow through.  he is also not Consitent.

 

For instance...He never seems to use the right voice...For Calling Trixie.  Can you please call her with a Little more Excitment & just say "Trixie Come'  Not in a stern voice! (save that for NO)

 

This morning he found her Chewing on a pen.  He took it away & said to me Trixie had a pen.  Well did you tell her NO! Since you caught her in the act?   of course not.

 

Does he praise her after she goes Potty?  Once in a while. 

Often I will ask if she peed & he will Say 'I Didnt Notice!'  Grrr

 

If she jumps on the edge of the couch to be pet...Does he pet that cute little Puppy?  Well of course!

I know I want to too.  But I also want to end up with a Well behaved dog.

 

When I point out things...Like I might say- ' Call her with an Excited Voice'  Or dont call her to you when she has something in her mouth that you need to take away from her....You need to go to her & get it out of her mouth.

he hasnt said anything...But I know hes not happy about me telling him how to 'train' her. he is also not chaning what I have asked him to change.

 

The list goes on.

 

What do you do when you have someone that is making training harder?

 

[Pam & Trixie]

Thank you Megan,

  Actually it is only me & dh now.  But both of my Kids stop home...One daily - she follows well on how to train.  The other one really doesnt & she is more like dh where she does not like Constructive Criticism.

 

We will be starting a class in the Beginning of May- We will both be going to every class (and the One daughter that listens may stop in for a class too).    You can switch handlers there.  I do hope that will help.

 

The Speadsheet sounds like a good idea.

I will try that.

[Trina L Lavoie]

I agree with going to the training classes. My DH followed a lot of the same as yours until I put it on someone else. I think sometimes when it comes from someone other than your spouse it doesn't come off the same way. I also used Doodlekisses too, like if Bruno was doing something he shouldn't and my husband wasn't following through the way I would I would say, on the website a lot of other owners tried this, or one guy said this really helped with the training. Husbands never like us telling them what to do but try saying it is from someone else, preferably another man!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Ditto - make him go to training class with you.  We can tell them to do it forever, but hearing an "expert" say it works wonders. 
I just did the Canine Good Citizen class with Peri for 8 weeks.  I handled her the entire time and she passed the test with me.  However, DH came to EVERY class so that we were on the same page and handling her in a consistent manner.  It helps immensely.

[BG and Gavin]

So I am here to tell you, this is what happens:  the dog learns to expect what is acceptable from you and what the expectations are from your DH and behaves accordingly with each person.  They are that smart.  For example Gavin will still wrestle and play and jump up and mouth my DH, but he would not dare jump up or touch me with an open mouth.  In fact I catch the two of them getting out of hand and say "NO" and they both look up sheepishly and go to their separate corners.  Although it can be fustrating, its not fatal.  Your dog will learn everything you teach him and DH won't be able to undo it :)

[Jodi and Stella]

Great answer BruceGirl, I agree completely!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Absolutely, BG.  My husband is just not a good trainer.....he's really not that interested.  So, as a result, my dogs act completely different with him than with me.  The biggest problem is that he just doesn't "mean business" when he tells them something, and they know it.  He won't follow through when they disobey a command with him.  If he tells them to "leave it" and they don't, he calls me.  I've given up.....he's not going to change.  He was the same way with the kids.  He's a really laid back guy....I'm the disciplinarian in the house.  That's just the was it is.  The good news is that it doesn't matter.  The dogs know exactly what I expect of them, and they don't get confused about the differences in approach.  The bad news is that my DH really can't walk the dogs.  They walk really well with me now, but with him they are in control....never a good thing.  I do understand the frustration, but I found it easier to just accept that he's not going to change.

[Pam & Trixie]

I dont mind if the dog doesnt listen to dh...When it is just dh.  But our last dogs would jump on everyone who entered the house except me.  Because dh let them jump on him. 

I would like a dog to Not jump on guests...Not have to be told to get down.

 

I also want Trixie to be able to be walked by anyone.  I could not walk my last dog for 3 years do to surgeries..when I was recovering from each...I still could not  walk her...because she had picked up so many bad habits.

 

I do feel if a dog can get away with stuff with 1 person they will do it with others (family & Friends)

 

Yes Jane, I think alot of my dhs training problems come with not follwing through.

 

So- I want dh to listen to the instructor & Help train her.   : )

[Jodi and Stella]

I feel your pain. My husband drives me crazy because he "just doesn't do it right" or maybe I'm to picky, I don't know. He gets defensive when I correct him. What do I do? I try to bite my tongue to try and keep the peace and hope Stella is smart enough to overcome his training shortcomings. (ouch, did I sound to harsh?) She seems to be coming along just fine and we are still married. Lol.

[Pam & Trixie]

Ah Jodi I am glad I am not alone.

 

Brucegirl that is very true...Maybe I should remind my dh who our last 2 dogs woke up every day...Including weekends to eat at 5:30 am!   If dh was not home...Did they come over & wake me up?  No.  LOL...They knew I was not going to put up with that.

 

The only problem is for Friends & family who come over.   The old dogs used to jump on them...they jumped on everyone but me...I can see Trixie doing the same thing.

And I will say I am not a great trainer myself...I would like to improve my skills a whole lot myself...And I will listen to suggestions : )

[Bonnie and Kona]

Dear Pam,

You have my heartfelt sympathy. You have perfectly described my husband for most of our dog owning years. With our 7 mo old Owen we  (my daughter and I) decided to have DH be the handler in the obedience classes. He never has gotten it when we have tried to correct him. Now he is doing a good job training Owen. It has made such a difference. If you enroll Trixie in classes, try to get your DH to do the obedience class. My daughter and I still practice with Owen but my husband is the one handling the dog during the class. (We tried the idea of both going to the obedience classes with other dogs but I did the handling and he daydreamed.)

[Adina P]

Some random ideas:

 

1) Take over training.  By this I mean that you appoint yourself as THE TRAINER (unbeknownst to everyone else) and just work really hard at establishing YOUR rules for things.  This won't help in household behavior necessarily (at least not right away) but will help in obedience.  Of couse Trixie will also end up only obeying you consistently, but perhaps they'll see that and wonder 'hmmmm what is SHE doing right?"  And if they don't wonder that then oh well...at least Trixie will obey YOU when YOU ask her to =)

 

2) Sit down and talk with your husband.  Not as "the one who does it all right" but about expectations and getting on the same page.  What does he want out of Trixie?  What does he NOT want her to do?  What does he think is the way to accomplish XYZ.  And share your thoughts too.  Make it totally neutral rather than an argument about your way being better...at least you'll get the ball rolling.

 

3) Somewhat connected to #2 -- see if he'd be willing to attend an obedience class with you and Trixie so you can learn from 'the expert' at the right way to do things.  Then it's NOT about YOUR way vs. HIS way but about the experts way that you BOTH try to follow.

 

I don't think it's necessary for each person who comes to your house (kids) to follow a set training program.  It's nice and ideal...but it's not gonna happen.  What's important is that the actual time spent in training obedience (specific commands is followed by you and whoever else interacts with Trixie daily).  If OTHER visitors give her the commands all wrong it really doesn't matter too much as long as she's well trained by YOU (and hopefully DH). 

[Cathy w/Shiloh~Cody]

I can relate-my husband calls our puppy in a low monotone voice, and then regularly "ignores" him when he

comes to him, due to something came on TV.  Grrrr..or he uses his hands to play with him, when we

have a million toys which reverts the puppy back to getting mouthy.