Struggling with energy level/behavior issue - need support

[Gabriele Gardner]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am writing this to all of you who may be in the same space as me and can identify with how I feel.  Also I am writing this to all of you who went through this with your doodle puppy and saw things improve at a certain age - to give me hope that it gets better.

 

My husband and I are really struggling with our goldendoodle, Bentley.  He is 5 months old and is a pretty pushy dog.  He is always jumping up on people (including my 6-yr-old twin girls), counter surfing and pulling off not only food but anything else he can find, barks while crated, goes around the house getting into things like my girls' toys, books, clothes, and decorations, humps my leg, gnaws on my hands and clothes.  Now this week, he has started guarding his food/chews and has bit my daughter twice (once breaking the skin).

 

He has completed a combo puppy/manners training where I learned clicker training.  He is very quick at learning and very food motivated.  He does great with the click/treats.  I have also consulted with trainers on the phone and read a lot of material concerning the behavior issues I listed above.  So I am working very hard with him and hoping it will pay off some day.  I also walk him every morning, play fetch a few times a day, pet/brush him a lot, talk to him, take him for rides in the car.  He gets a lot of attention.  The trainers say goldendoodle puppies are very high energy and need a lot of physical and mental stimulation and that puppy behavior can last a long time.  How much more can I do?  Our family is really starting to feel the stress of all of this and it is even affecting my marriage.  I just wonder if anyone else has or is currently going through this and if it is worth sticking it out.  I have wondered if it would be better to rehome him.  We all love him though and think he will eventually be a great dog so that would be a very difficult choice.  Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated!

[shelly]

Gabrielle!  Do a search and you will find YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  SO many of us have had feelings just like yours and the same situations too - right down to the biting and marital interference....  I have told this story many times, so I hope others who I know will respond shortly don't mind, but here it goes again....Tori too went through training, did what she was taught, but had a mind of her own.  She got the crazies and ran around nipping and jumping.  Sometimes it was hard to catch her to put her in her crate when she needed to be calmed down.  She often would grab things and run under the dining room table and growl and go to bite when we tried to get them away.  One night she grabbed something and ran under my son's bed.  When I went to get it, she bit my hand breaking the skin.  She ran out after I screamed like a maniac and ran right into her crate.  I did everything yo 're not supposed to do - yelled slammed the door shut banged on top of it.  I WAS MAD and wanted her to know it.  I say that I don't know how I didn't open the door and let her go - it wasn't so much the fact that she cost over 1200, but more my kids' looks on their faces. I wouldn't even look at her for a whole 2 days.  From that point on she was tethered to me whenever she was in the house.  she sat before going out - I went first and the same coming in... she went back to waiting in a sit stay to eat, etc.  It did get better, and I have (we ALL have) learned that when she has something - like a paper towel, sneaker, sock - to exchange and not grab from her.  She has only nipped at my mother in law once since that time 2 years ago.  She has calmed down SO much and really learned to be a sweetheart.  She never was very affectionate - very aloof, but NOW she's a mush.  Some dogs are born cuddlers and some - they are dogs....must be taught how to be a family member.  Search some past posts and yo will get a lot of information.  I am sure others will chime in shortly.  Good luck and hang in there!  I wouldn't say ALL doodles are like this, but many of us did not have an easy road to the wonderful dog we have now!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

You are clearly not alone....there are many of us who have gone through (or are now going through) similar issues.  First the bad news, IMO Bentley will not just improve with age.  It sounds like his issues are pretty significant, and the food guarding and biting to break the skin are concerning.  The good news is that I believe with the right training all these behaviors can be addressed.  The puppy manners and clicker training approach for a "pushy" dog are probably not enough.  I also have a Doodle who was just "full of himself", and it took some very serious training to change him.  He's now an awesome family pet, but there was a lot of hard work involved in getting him to this point.  As far as whether it's worth "sticking it out", I think that depends on your level of commitment and the time you can reasonable expect to give to training.  You mention that you've consulted with trainers.....did they have any good advice for you?

I think the first thing you'll have to do is let him know that he's not in charge....you are.  There are lots of ways to do this, but having him "earn" everything he gets will start him down the path of understanding that YOU are the one calling the shots.  Some dogs need physical corrections to really learn what you are expecting of them.  If it were me, I would get a training collar for him, and he'd either be leashed or crated all the time while he's "learning".  Some people have had great luck with a prong collar...I personally used a training collar (choke chain).  You will probably need a trainer to help you to learn exactly how to fit the collar and effectively administer corrections.  When done correctly, they are not harsh or mean, but they do send a clear message to the dog about what is and isn't acceptable behavior.  With my guy, they provided the needed motivation for him to change. You will also need to be totally consistent once you start down this path.  He will need to be corrected every time he jumps, or counter surfs, or nips. Praise and reward (including treats) when he's doing what's expected are also important.  The food guarding (again IMO) is the most serious concern, and you will probably need a specific approach for that.  Again, a trainer would help you.  How do you react now when he does this?  Once Bentley begins to see you and your husband as his leaders (and behave accordingly) you can begin to teach him that your children are also "above him" and must be respected.  I think that comes a little later, so I would be very careful of their interaction during the initial phases of his training.

As for rehoming him, I believe if you don't think you can implement and follow through on a training plan, that may be something that you must consider.  The longer he's with you the more difficult that will be.  If you decide you want to work with Bentley, there are many of us in the Training Group  who would be happy to help.

[Adina P]

First, it sounds like you're doing a lot of thing just right.  You started off right with the puppy class and are giving him good things.

 

However, there are some things you can add that will help, at least this is what *I* would do:

-- Remember that attention and brushing and talking to your dog will do NOTHING to train him or change his behavior.  They are good for other reasons, but don't expect even undivided attention to fix bad habits or unwanted behavior.  They are completely separate.

 

-- Puppy classes are great for basics on how to TEACH things and socialization and understanding basics about puppies.  However, they are not very useful past that.  Once you've taught a behavior, a dog won't necessarily always DO IT on cue until you've trained longer, with different distractions and different goals as far as clicker training is concerned.  I don't clicker train but I'm fairly familiar with it.  I chose a method that involves corrections and accountability once the dog has finished LEARNING what a word means.  So when I give a command that is not followed, there are consequences that increase the chances the dog will actually DO IT on command.  BUT I also take that dog out for training nearly daily to parks, downtown, etc so said dog gets practice in real world challenging circumstances.  Dogs don't generalize well...so just because they will sit on command in the house when not stimulated by other things...doesn't mean they will do so under distracting situations or when highly energized.  My point is you need someone to guide you on how to progress from here.  How do you train the dog to respond reliably to your cues/commands after they have learned the meaning of the words and can do it at home when things are mellow.  That's what a good class will teach you past the puppy class level.  So my advice is to enroll in Beginning and Advanced (or whatever order/titles the next levels are that are available to you).  Find a trainer or class that actually focuses on reaching reliable obedience off and on leash---that's what you want ultimately from a dog: reliability in all normal circumstances.  Not just when you have a treat.  Not just when things are calm.  Not just when you're alone without any audience or distractions.

 

-- My high energy pup, Boca, (though perhaps NOT quite as rambunctious as yours) didn't start formal obedience till 5.5 months old.  She's now GREAT on leash and quite good around the house off leash.  We put in a lot of time and are not done yet.

 

-- CRATE your pup when he's out of control.  If you don't have time to watch him/supervise him and he's getting into things he shouldn't, CRATE him to keep him safe and your stuff safe.  If he's just too out of control and bouncy and it's driving you nuts...CRATE him.  Of course you have to put in the time outside of that to work him in obedience on a daily basis and give him play time and hang out time...but don't be afraid to confine when necessary for your sanity.

 

 

 

[Cathy w/Shiloh~Cody]

Has your dog been neutered? if not, I would do so asap.

This really helped our dog at that age. Calmed him and stopped the humping.

Check and see if there is a doggie daycare in your area. They may have a half day or full day

that will really deplete his energy and give you all a break. I take my dog once a week and

it is wonderful, I get a energy break that day and the next. Good luck!

[shelly]

It's been quite a while since I have had a male dog, but the humping did clam down a lot after neutering, but some dogs - male or female - neutered or spayed,  hump to show dominance and it sounds like Bentley is trying to prove his spot on HIS idea of the family's totem pole of POWER!

Hope you feel a bit better after reading some here... keep researching.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Hi Gabrielle, I'm sorry to hear you are having such difficulty. Sophie used to test my patience a lot like this. She's now 5 months and is still pretty high energy but I think I've got her mostly under control. My trick is that I started taking her to the dog park after work everyday. It's been a dream because she gets all that crazy energy out by playing and running around, and I get to socialize and relax. By  the time we get she's starving, scarfs down her dinner and then flops on the floor for the rest of the evening. Your puppy is jumping and biting because he wants to play. He needs to get that play time with other puppies and learn that it is only acceptable to behave that way with dogs, not people and especially not children. If you don't have a dog park close by try making play dates with other dog owners.

 

Another thing you might want to try is giving him time outs by gating him in a specific area of the house. Ignore him when he is behaving badly and he will quickly learn that he doesn't get anywhere when he behaves that way.

 

I hope this helps! Good Luck!

[Jennifer and Jack]

I agree with you,  Jack every day as a puppy went to some type of place where he could play, get his energy out, and socialize. Some of those behaviors though will not be corrected by play, some just need to be nipped in the bud, he is a puppy, he will learn with some hard work and teaching. Luckily his mom is so dedicated and willing to do what needs to be done.

[Cathy w/Shiloh~Cody]

I must disagree with the suggestion made to hit the dog if he bites. The dog may not know when you or your children reach for it in the future, whether it will be another hit or a gentle pet. It also could cause the dog to lash out and become more aggressive. When my dog nipped, I immediately put my finger down his throat and he hated it so much he stopped. 

[Gabriele Gardner]

Thank you to everyone who has replied so far.  I really appreciate your thoughts, opinions, and advice.  I will answers the questions asked so far in this one reply.  He is scheduled for his neuter in 5 days so I'm glad some of you have said that made a difference in your dogs.  The trainers I have spoken with are also taking the food guarding very seriously and want to come to our house to work with the whole family ASAP.  They lots of ideas they think will help with the other issues.  One was sending him to doggie daycare for both physical and mental stimulation.  I have an appointment with a facility on Tuesday - they screen the dogs well before they can join.  We also have a dog park close by that I will try.  I have been trying to wait till he is older and bigger for that but it sounds like I should try sooner than later.  I'm just afraid of him getting hurt.  The trainers would also like to implement ways to give Bentley leadership in the house (I'm not sure what that means) along with ways to raise my status in the pack so that he will respect my authority.  We will also work on overcoming his crate issues, counter surfing, and jumping up.  We will be meeting with one of the trainers tomorrow afternoon so I'm hoping that goes well.  This particular trainer also offered a 3 week boarding option (at her house) where she will train him and work with his different challenges.  She then has a few sessions at our home so that we can continue the progress she made.  We are thinking about it but it is fairly expensive.  Have any of you done something like that?  For now we are starting with the private training sessions and will see how that goes.  I will also be consulting the DK training group as I work through this.  Thanks again everyone!

[Lisa Ortmann]

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time with your doodle.  I have had a few minor issues with ours but none that have not been fairly easily worked out.  I am sure that this is all so hard on you guys.  I do know of someone in the paw pad doodle group who had to send their doodle away to work on issues for a training period.  I can try to find out there name if you would like.  They may have some good info for you.  Unfortunately all I can offer is sympathy...

 

[Gabriele Gardner]

Thank you Lisa!  I would love to get the name from the paw pad doodle group if possible...

[Adrienne Shapiro]

Hi, That is rough about your doodle.  I used a trainer in his home for both my doodles....and yes it was very expensive ...but so worth it if you have a great trainer!  I also have had the trainer do follow-up at home.  My trainer is a "real world " trainer, not a basic sit, stay, etc....but he does what the dogs need in the world with all the distractions.  It sounds like you might have found a good one based on her suggestions. ...leadership...etc.   We use a prong collar by Hermes, and it imitates the parent...and works safely and quickly.  My dogs are now at their best completely off leash with remote collars, which I rarely ever need to use.  Keep us posted...