Struggling with energy level/behavior issue - need support

[Gabriele Gardner]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am writing this to all of you who may be in the same space as me and can identify with how I feel.  Also I am writing this to all of you who went through this with your doodle puppy and saw things improve at a certain age - to give me hope that it gets better.

 

My husband and I are really struggling with our goldendoodle, Bentley.  He is 5 months old and is a pretty pushy dog.  He is always jumping up on people (including my 6-yr-old twin girls), counter surfing and pulling off not only food but anything else he can find, barks while crated, goes around the house getting into things like my girls' toys, books, clothes, and decorations, humps my leg, gnaws on my hands and clothes.  Now this week, he has started guarding his food/chews and has bit my daughter twice (once breaking the skin).

 

He has completed a combo puppy/manners training where I learned clicker training.  He is very quick at learning and very food motivated.  He does great with the click/treats.  I have also consulted with trainers on the phone and read a lot of material concerning the behavior issues I listed above.  So I am working very hard with him and hoping it will pay off some day.  I also walk him every morning, play fetch a few times a day, pet/brush him a lot, talk to him, take him for rides in the car.  He gets a lot of attention.  The trainers say goldendoodle puppies are very high energy and need a lot of physical and mental stimulation and that puppy behavior can last a long time.  How much more can I do?  Our family is really starting to feel the stress of all of this and it is even affecting my marriage.  I just wonder if anyone else has or is currently going through this and if it is worth sticking it out.  I have wondered if it would be better to rehome him.  We all love him though and think he will eventually be a great dog so that would be a very difficult choice.  Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I can't even tell you how happy I am to read this.  I've thought so much about you and your situation since yesterday, and I was so hoping that you would be willing to make the training commitment.  It does work...I know that from first hand experience.  Yes, it takes some work, but it's so worth it in the end.  You CAN end up with the Doodle you always wanted. 

I think the advice you've received so far about raising your status (and every other human in the house), so that Bentley learns that he's at the bottom of the "pecking order" is perfect.  If you read the post in the Training Group about "Nothing In Life Is Free" that will give you a good idea of what this is all about.  I'm SO glad you will be talking to a trainer tomorrow, and I really hope that goes well too.  As for the "board and train" option, I have mixed feelings.  Right now I think what is most important is that the trainer work with your family on how to relate to Bentley and how to stop the dominant behaviors in your home.  My brother did a board and train with his Lab, and it was successful....but he wasn't dealing with many of the issues you've described.  If I was in your position, I'd rather put the money into having the trainer at my home dealing with the entire family, so everyone is on the same page. 

I know that others may disagree with this, but I wouldn't be in a huge hurry to get Bentley into Daycare right now.  I'd focus on the behavioral issues and start some obedience training first.  I've found that Daycare is a rather chaotic place.  I do believe in it, and it's a great way for them to work off some energy, but right now I think it's more about putting that energy into work....obedience work.  I'd see what the trainer has to say about it....he/she may disagree.

So, I'm glad you joined the training group.  Please start a discussion and keep us posted on how your meeting goes tomorrow.  There are lots of us "pulling for you".  You can do it!

[Jennifer and Jack]

Lynda,

 

I strongly strongly read the word strongly disagree with the hitting of a doodle EVER!!! I think it is beyond inappropriate to hit a living creature for demonstrating a behavior that is not appropriate. The fact that you come on here and say your husband  punched a dog so hard it sent the dog out of the room makes me want to drive to your house and get your dogs from you.

 

Sorry for being so rude, I am not a rude person but when it comes to an animal that depends on us to teach them and train them, hitting them makes me so angry.

 

Anyway, I am sorry you are experiencing this with your puppy. My dog was too little to counter surf, and though he was a jumper he was only five pound or less when he was a puppy so though the behavior was there, it didn't hurt anyone.

 

As far as counter surfing, my friend used to put paper towels with apple bitter on them on the counter, and then wipe the edge of the counter with it.

 

I also am single, don't have kids etc, but when I was not able to let Jack get his energy out, I took him to doggie day care, other dogs will teach some basic behavior, especially puppies, Even now if a 60 pound puppy goes to hump Jack, Jack will put him in his place.

 

It sounds like you are doing everything right like Adina said, I think you may have to go back to tethering the dog to your side so you can immediately correct any bad behavior.

 

Never with adults but with kids and dogs, Jack used to resource guard. I broke him of that by repeatedly having other small children take the toy he was playing with. I was right there, I started with an older child and worked my way down to a small child, if he so much as made one move, he was immediately corrected. Now I think you saw my post of Jack being a baby sitter to a new born.

 

They are a lot of work and having twins to boot is a lot of work too. I hope you hang in there because dogs are truly amazing companions. I pray that in a year or so you look back and can't even believe you ever could have thought of giving up your baby.

 

You are not alone.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Jennifer, I do have to disagree with one thing.  I would not have children taking food or toys away from a dog with Bentley's resource guarding issues without having a knowledgeable trainer present....and I doubt they would encourage it.  Your Jack is a very sweet mini Dood (non dominant), but that may not be the case with Bentley.  Until Bentley "learns his place" I would be concerned that this could be dangerous for the children.  Again, that's only my opinion, but I've been told that resource guarding is serious enough that you really need to know what you're doing, especially when your dealing with a dog who thinks he "owns" the food or toy.

[Gabriele Gardner]

Jane,

You are right.  The trainers said to keep the kids away from him while eating and avoid taking anything from him for now.  They will be having my husband and I work with him before involving the girls.  The plan is to first raise my status and then the girls' status in Bentley's eyes.  But they said that it is hard to raise status for children younger than 9 or 10.  I'll update tomorrow after our first meeting with the trainer.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I can't wait to hear about how your meeting goes!

[Jennifer and Jack]

Yes, Jane, thank you for pointing that out, I totally agree and I had in my head to say that I had done that with a trainers help. I would not suggest that either, Thank you so much for fixing that. I would feel horrible if she did that and something happen, I did that under direct care of a trainer... I think I was so upset by the dog being hit comment that I was not thinking clearly..

 

Thanks again..

[Phoebe's Mom]

I agree with all the wonderful advice you have been given thus far but I did want to throw my two cents in as well.  My Phoebe was a 'fantastic' play biter.  It drove me over the edge many times and I felt as though we might never get through the puppy stage. She also used to growl and make this odd gutteral noise and I worried that she might bite my children until our trainer explained that Phoebe is a 'big talker'--interesting that I chose a talking dog as I love to do it myself so much!  Our trainer helped me to understand that Phoebe was trying to communicate with me to get her needs met.  The trainer also emphasized the need-as Adina mentioned--to crate, crate, crate when the puppy is overly excited.  She needed the time out and so did we.  It was a very rough first year but once she turned one, she mellowed appreciably and now that she turned two, you would not believe that this was the same puppy who nearly drove us over the edge.  For the record, she still talks to me all the time the only difference is that now I really know what she wants--and she has to listen to me talk all day long to her, too.  Hang in there as it s so worth the effort!

[Gabriele Gardner]

You are all so wonderful, thoughtful, and encouraging.  You are giving me hope and making me feel like we can do this.  When we decided to get him, we said to each other "if we can survive 6 yrs of raising twins, we can handle a puppy."  We had no idea it would be this hard but I know it will be worth it if we can keep our sanity through it.

 

Regarding the crate discussion, I completely agree with crating him when he is out of control or when I am just too busy to manage him effectively.  The problem is, despite consistent, daily positive reinforcement, he does not like his crate.  We think he is traumatized from his 14 hour flight to get to us.   But it is really important that we change this so we can have him in it when we are out of the house too.  He just barks and barks and barks for most of the time he is in there (30 min. to 3 hours).  His bark is so loud, a neighbor who lives a few houses away commented that he heard him barking the other day.  He was in the house but the window was open.  I was discouraged that it disrupted the neighbor, as we like to keep the windows open for fresh air as much as possible.  Also, my husband works at home and is on the phone most of the day and the barking is disrupting him.  He does not want his clients to hear the barking so sometimes he has to get off the phone prematurely.  This is actually a big source of stress during the day, as I am in and out.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Are you covering his crate with a light sheet so he can not see out of it? Do you ever let him out of the crate when he is barking? They say never let a dog out when they are whining or barking otherwise it will teach them they can get out by doing that behavior,

 

Can you place the crate in a back room and close the door?

 

You certainly are doing everything you can...

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

The trainer will help you with this.  It's all part of the larger issue (IMO).

[Tina, Clover, Plus 5 More]

Simon use to panic when crated.  I started feeding him in the crate and now he will go in on his own.  Feeding in the crate also eliminates the need to resource guard their food dish.  IMO all toys should be taken away, you control when and how long he gets to play, then put them away again.  He will soon realize you're in control and not him.  Having a trainer come to your house and work with the family is great idea.  Can't wait to hear your successes with training.  Good luck

[Coco Chanel and Cheryl]

Coco was not super aggressive but I do have advice. Last summer I had to live with my parents due to an ankle injury and Coco was a young puppy. When she got too wild we put her in the crate for a 5 minute time out. Whenever she got too psycho she went in the crate.
When no one was home with me and she started to think she was in charge, I put her on her leash and she had to stay with me. Since I could not walk anywhere, she was stuck by the sofa with me. She learned very quickly that she needed to show me that she could be trusted. As the summer went on, I gave her some freedom. I would have her on the leash not hooked to me in the morning and then hooked to me in the afternoon. It worked like a charm.
She also took training classes. Now she is 15 months and she is just the most delightful puppy! We went out today and she was wonderful at the park on her leash with lots of people!! She was not as crazy as your dog, but the system worked and it was suggested from my breeder! She learned that I was in charge and not her.