Struggling with energy level/behavior issue - need support

[Gabriele Gardner]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am writing this to all of you who may be in the same space as me and can identify with how I feel.  Also I am writing this to all of you who went through this with your doodle puppy and saw things improve at a certain age - to give me hope that it gets better.

 

My husband and I are really struggling with our goldendoodle, Bentley.  He is 5 months old and is a pretty pushy dog.  He is always jumping up on people (including my 6-yr-old twin girls), counter surfing and pulling off not only food but anything else he can find, barks while crated, goes around the house getting into things like my girls' toys, books, clothes, and decorations, humps my leg, gnaws on my hands and clothes.  Now this week, he has started guarding his food/chews and has bit my daughter twice (once breaking the skin).

 

He has completed a combo puppy/manners training where I learned clicker training.  He is very quick at learning and very food motivated.  He does great with the click/treats.  I have also consulted with trainers on the phone and read a lot of material concerning the behavior issues I listed above.  So I am working very hard with him and hoping it will pay off some day.  I also walk him every morning, play fetch a few times a day, pet/brush him a lot, talk to him, take him for rides in the car.  He gets a lot of attention.  The trainers say goldendoodle puppies are very high energy and need a lot of physical and mental stimulation and that puppy behavior can last a long time.  How much more can I do?  Our family is really starting to feel the stress of all of this and it is even affecting my marriage.  I just wonder if anyone else has or is currently going through this and if it is worth sticking it out.  I have wondered if it would be better to rehome him.  We all love him though and think he will eventually be a great dog so that would be a very difficult choice.  Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated!

[Brandi]

No Gabrielle u are not alone.  Puppies will be puppies.  Raising a puppy is very hard work, but it will pay off in the end.  The answer is consistency.  Doodles do seem to take a long time to grow up mentally, but, I promise he will grow up.  Puppies like to test your patience, push their boundaries, just like children lol  I have 3 dogs but 2 are doodles.  One is 22 months and the baby, Smudge, is gonna turn yr old.  I see progress every day in each of them.  Every single day they grow up a little more.  Both are wonderful dogs and wouldn't trade them for the world, BUT,  there have been many days that were xtremly challenging but they are few and far between these days.  I have learned with my oldest doodle, Magnet,  the first yr with her,  that she got VERY naughty when she was tired, just like a baby.  If she was being a brat, stealing things, getting nippy, or vocally mouthy, I put her to bed for a while and she would crash out almost every time and wake up with a different attitude. lol  Try it, give him some time outs when he's being bratty, and see what happens.  Smudge was a dream to raise, she was a complete breeze, she just wanted to be loved and cuddled. lol  Magnet on the other hand, was rough.  But, the consistency has paid off and she is pretty well behaved, not perfect by any means, but she is a very good girl, with a very big heart.  Hang in there, don't give up plz, you will not regret it ;)

[Lisa Ortmann]

Hi Gabrielle!  I was in contact with the family that I had told you about that was working with boarding and training right now.  He seems to have been experiencing some of the same behaviors with his doodle.  He was very willing to talk.  They live in the Chicago area so unfortunately you wouldn't be able to use the same trainer.  They have just gotten their doodle back after weeks away at training.  I believe they went and visited weekly?  He does not have an account on Doodlekisses but is on the Paw Pad group on Facebook.  Do you have a facebook account?  Let me know.  I will try to figure out a way to get you two in touch...  I hope you are able to find the answers you are looking for.  I looked at your pictures from when you first brought your puppy home and you all looked so happy.  I hope you can get back to that!  I will say that my doodle is now almost 8 months and right around the 5 month mark was also when he tested us the most.  He started having some bad behaviors that I thought we had already conquered.  He also had an accident in the house after he had been potty trained for months!  It took about a month and he was back to the puppy we loved.  It was like he was testing out his role again.  Best of luck to you and your family!  

[Becky and Murphy]

I'm sorry...but when I read this I actually laughed out loud....and read it to my husband too...so he could hear our very similar story.  Our Murphy is 4mos. old...18lbs.  I'm going through a lot of the same things you described.  I don't know if there is a magic answer for the puppy nipping and acting crazy...other than be patient.  They have to go through a puppy stage to get to that stage we all love.  I just keep telling myself that...and also asking "Is he bored?, does he need to run it out, and get tired???".  I know this didn't help answer your questions....but I do know that it is a huge challenge, and they are seriously like a new baby in the house, except with a lot of ENERGY....Love him so much too...it's hard to get to mad or angry.  Good luck, hang in there, and soon he will be a great friend for your girls....

[Kyoko]

I just saw this discussion.... I was wondering if you use baby gates? May be you can put one at the entrance to the kitchen to prevent the counter surfing, instead of trying to correct his behavior :-) You can also use baby gate to limit his access to the children's room, so that he wont get your children's belongings!! My old Chow now 16 used to steal my kids' stuffed animal and chewed their eyes out!! We put the baby gate up, so he could not get to the stuffed animals, and kids learned not to lay them around for him to take them :-) Hang in there... I believe that we all have been there.......

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Gabrielle, how did you meeting with the trainer this weekend go?

[David E]

Your post made me laugh and simultaneously feel great empathy for you. Our puppy has just turned 8 months and is changing now into how a dog should behave. It is a lot of work, but the payoff will be huge. I can't tell you how much I'm starting to enjoy our dog now compared to 2-3 months ago when it was hell. Get a trainer to help if you can. Tether a lot in the house. Remember that if he's loose, you cannot correct him and he will learn that he doesn't have to listen. Loose around the house is asking for trouble. Only the last few weeks are we starting to have success with ours off the leash in the house. I would say that's important to realize. Get a long leash for training in the house.
Realize there's a lot of work ahead still, but it does start to get easier. I thought our dog was psycho or damaged at one point. I was mentally and physically exhausted many times. As I said, he's started to really improve and become enjoyable and it's so cool
I will never ever get a puppy again, they are just not fun at all. We ended up wanting a doodle this time but the next dog will be a 1+ yo rescue for sure. You do have to find a way to correct your puppy though when biting, jumping etc. We tried everything with varying degrees of success. Doodles seem a little single minded to say the least, it takes a while to get through their thick heads sometimes, but they get it eventually as they are smart.
Good luck, persevere and work out a plan to get you through the next few months.

[Leslie C.]

Hi, Gabrielle and Bentley & Others!!

 

I just wanted to say I remember those days where you feel exhausted and over cooked with puppy behaviors and energy.  I remember trying to manage this on my own plus dealing with an extended flea infestation!

 

A few things that I just want to offer up are some ideas on dividing the load and coping with the stress.  Get more people and dogs on board to help you... more play dates, more treat dispensing toys, find a doodle big brother or sister to send Bently on vacation or play dates with... find ways to get rest and replinish your energy.... when we take care of ourselves we are more available to take care of others.   Remember these are stages and phases...

 

LiliBear, at around 10 months of age, was able to get into an agility class and this provided a great outlet for her energy and intelligence.  We were both good and tired after agility class.

 

I am currently helping to mentor a couple with their 1st 8 week old Goldendoodle ... I look forward to providing respite to them when they are doodled out.  Now that LiliBear is past these earlier phases and I survived ... I look forward to helping :) 

Best Wishes... ~Leslie

[Dos Doodles--Sam & Luke]

Hi there Gabrielle--

I am new to this group and I don't have a ton of experience.  I have some thoughts and figured I'd share them with you.  I'd hate for you to have to re-home your pup.  That just sounds like such a painful experience.

I am with many of the response-givers that physical punishments are not the way to go.  I don't believe in using force or violence with a dog (or people!)...it just teaches aggression and fear.  I've been so super lucky to have a dog with an even and loving temperament.  But he's also been a little willful at times.  I've read a bunch of books on training and raising a dog, none of them talk about using physical force.

The ones I like the best and that I would recommend you read right away is:  The Dog Listener by Jan Fennel and How to be the Leader of the Pack and Have Your Dog Love You For It by Patricia McConnell.  In fact, I recommend any book written by either of these two authors.

If I was faced with your situation, I would start with what Fennell calls amichien bonding, where you absolutely ignore the dog for 2 weeks and follow a strict plan regarding feeding and other leadership establishing behaviors---sounds hard (I think it would be), but from what I understand, it really works.  Lots of behavior problems come when we accidentally put our dogs in a leadership role.

I'm not an expert...it's just what I have read and how I've raised my dog.  I also get to spend some time with my friend's dog, who is pretty bossy and excitable around me.  I've done some of this type of training with her and she mellows out and her behaviors improve with me pretty quickly.

Hope this helps you...hang in there and keep us updated!

[Jenny & Henry]

Gabrielle, how are you guys making out? 

[Bonnie and Kona]

Dear Gabrielle,

I just want to encourage you that Owen was a real handful but made some significant breakthroughs at 7 months and again at 9 months. We are seeing him being able to curb his impulsiveness and spontaneously listen when corrected. Please let us know how Bentley is doing. This too will pass.

Hoping for the best soon!

[Gabriele Gardner]

Hi Everyone!  Thanks again for all of the encouraging words.  Many of you have given me good ideas to try and all of you have encouraged me that it is all worth it!  I'm sorry it has taken so long for me to send this update.  In the last two weeks, we had our first session with our trainer (at our house), four days later Bentley was neutered/micro- chipped, a few days after that we went on our first road trip with him, lots of activities for the last days of kindergarten, etc.   

 

Overall, things seem to be going much better!  The session with the trainer was really helpful.  She addressed:

1.  Resource Guarding:  She found that he is actually very tolerant and tries very hard not to have a confrontation.  This is her summary: 

Tested with the Assess-A Hand at food bowl-had hand in food, next to mouth, on mouth, rubbed all over shoulders and head. Kept eating. No stiffening, no growling, did not turn away.

Tested with Assess-A-Hand with rawhide. Pup got up and moved away three times. I continued to use the hand as a child might. After third attempt to move away, Bentley froze briefly and again moved away 4th time). I pursued w/the hand and he froze, then turned for a quick air snap and again moved away (5th time). No growling. He easily traded the rawhide for a treat or an alternate chewy within moments of the testing. Length of time to the air snap was approximately 50-60 seconds (although it could have been longer-did not use stopwatch)

 

2.  Child/dog interaction:  She spent time with my girls going over dog body language.  She observed that they are overwhelming him and that he seems a bit nervous when they approach.  She explained that he doesn't like to be touched on the top of the head and that most dogs don't like hugs (which they do to him all the time).  She gave them some training to do with him as a healthy way to interact with him and change the relationship.  She thought I should get “Good Dog!” By Evelyn Pang and Hilary Louie - a children’s book written by two children.

 

3.  Counter surfing & wild behavior:  Her suggestion was not to even give Bentley the chance to counter surf by tethering him while I work in the kitchen.  We have a great room so when he is tethered to the couch, he can see me in the kitchen and eating nook, as well as the backyard where the girls are often.  This was a huge breakthrough because he is happy there (we have his bed and toy basket in that space) as long as he can see me.  He often relaxes and snoozes or plays with his toys.  It seems to have calmed him down to not have the run of the house.  Even when I had his long lead connected to me he was relentless about jumping up and he was getting attention just by correcting him with the lead.  It is a relief to not have to do that as much.  I am also tethering or crating him the minute he starts to get too wild with me.  It helps SO much!  Before I was spending hours each days pushing him off of me and yelling "OFF or NO" and now I just calmly take him to his spot and don't say a word.

 

4.  Mental stimulation:  She suggested earning his food is a nice way to keep him busy and increase desired behaviors at the same time.  I promptly bought a Bob-A-Lot feeding toy and he is getting lunch and dinner that way.  It is great, he spends about 15-20 minutes getting all of his kibble out of it.  I also will be taking him to a doggie daycare one day a week starting this Friday.  The dogs are taught how to treat the other dogs correctly and also how to treat the trainers at the facility respectfully.  It will provide good socialization time and he should come home mentally and physically tired.

 

I think this recaps most of it.  I'm sure there is more but this is becoming a long post.  We will have another session with the trainer soon so I will check back in here to update.  Thanks again for all of your support - it has been invaluable.  You are all such amazing, caring people and I am thankful for you!

[Bonnie and Kona]

This is wonderful news. It sounds like you and Bentley are happy with the changes you have made. Congratulations.