Questions on Adding Second Dog

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

1.  I feel like I am not being as physically affectionate with Stuart as I would like due to the Giardia, Coccidia, worm situation.  I recall spending more time just holding and snuggling Rooney but with Stuart it seems to be more about the sanitation of washing, hand sanitizer, butt washings, etc.  I feel a little guilty.  He goes back to the vet on Wednesday so I'm hoping for a clean poop but has anyone else felt this way?

2.  Because of the above situation I don't feel as bonded to Stuart yet, or maybe just because he is the newer puppy and it takes a little bit of time.  I do love him but will the day come when I love him just as much as I love Rooney? 

3.  Rooney is sticking up for himself nicely during their brief play periods.  He either tries to turn his butt to Stuart (who is still looking for milk) or grabs him by the back of the neck and holds him down for a moment.  Rooney is showing Stuart that he is the alpha dog.  They also play through the gate.  Rooney however isn't eating much every since Stuart showed up.  We had to move his food due to the fencing.  Is this just a normal part of adjustment?

4.  We are trying to spend quality time with just Rooney and Rooney does sleep on our bed.  Stuart is gated off in the kitchen/eating area and sleeps in his crate).  Due to Stuart's larger size (who knows what that will be) we don't plan for Stuart to be on the bed but will get a nice dog bed to go next to our bed on the floor.  Is it o.k. to give one dog a perk and not the other?

I've never had multiple dogs so this is all new for me.

[Frances Pendrous (Horan)]

Don't be so hard on yourself. I think it takes time to bond with our animals. We rescued our Johnny Boy about six months ago and even though he was more loving towards us from the beginning than our Frankie Girl has ever been, I just did not seem to be able to feel quite the same when he was snuggling into me. He just did not feel, or even smell the same as my girl. Somehow and somewhere along those months, he weeded his way into everyone's hearts with his constant need for love and attention (he was originally abandoned and found running on a freeway) and now as with multiple children, we love and adore him just the same and although he still does not smell or feel like my Frankie, he has his own delicious smell that we all just love kissing and adoring him back. Give yourself time....the love will grow I promise and Stuart will worm his way into your heart just like Rooney did. Oh yes, and don't worry about not giving Rooney enough attention, they love being in a "pack" and forget what it was like to be the "only dog" Good luck xx

[Tina, Clover, Plus 5 More]

IMO with Stuart being sick is making things harder all around.  Once you get the all clear things will get easier.  It's a adjustment period for everyone.  In a few days you, Rooney and Stuart will all be cuddling on the couch.

If I remember right Rooney is a finicky eater.  Maybe he just needs to adjust to the new location of his food bowl.  Having Stuart as a playmate and not being able to play with him could also be a factor.  One of my dogs is not food motivated so if there is something else they want to do food is the last thing on their mind.

When my DH is out of town all the dogs start off on the bed, then Clover and Apollo usually go to one of the dog beds on the floor.  If DH is home Clover and Apollo don't sleep on our bed.  I think you make the rules.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Here are a couple of thoughts...

-I do understand your concern over cuddling Stuart with all the parasite issues he's had.  One thing my Vet told me that helped with both of my guys when they had it was that it's "fecal-oral" which means it would be transmitted to you only if you touched fecal matter and then put your hand to your mouth.  Once I heard this I felt way more comfortable....simple good hand washing should prevent transmission.

-I think the bonding with the second puppy does take a little time, especially when you think the sun rises and sets with your "first puppy".  I did worry a little about that when we got Murphy because I was so totally in love with Guinness.  It didn't take long though for me to fall head over heels in love with the big goof.  The day will surely come when you love him just as much as Rooney.  If I were truly honest I'd have to admit that I think I even love Murph a little more than Guinness....there I said it.  It's probably because Murphy has been through so much with all his physical issues.  He was also so difficult to train that during the process we seemed to develop an incredibly strong bond.  Everything seems to come harder to Murphy....and I guess my heart just goes out to him.  Anyway I'm willing to bet that in no time you'll be crazy in love with Stuart just like you are with Rooney.

-Good for Rooney....I figured he'd stick up for himself pretty quickly.  I don't remember if Guinness's appetite suffered when we first got Murph.  Guinness is the type of dog though who cuts back (or doesn't eat at all) when things are different or stressful.  I'd just give it a little time.  Also I fed both dogs in the same room at the same time.  I monitored them to be sure they learned from the beginning that they were to never go near each other's dish.  To this day they don't.  I realize now with what's going on with the giardia that isn't an option.  Once Rooney is back eating in his normal spot and is a little more used to having a "big little brother", I think he'll get back to normal.

-As for allowing one dog on the bed, but not the other one I can tell you our experience.  For a while we did allow Guinness on our bed at night, but not Murph (because of his size).  I asked my trainer about this one day, and he did say that he would not recommend that.  He felt it would be confusing to both dogs, since sleeping on a bed does have significance to a dog.  So at night now, each dog has their bed and they sleep right by us.  They are both allowed on the bed during the day and early evening for "cuddle time"....by invitation only.

You're going through all the questions we all did as we got our second puppy.  It's all going to work our fine.  Once the worms are a thing of the past and you can play with and cuddle your guys together, things will all start to fall into place.

[Jennifer Tramell]

When I was waiting for Charlotte I had a lot of worries.  Would Webster, my devoted, loving, faithful Webster, feel like I had betrayed him?  Could another dog ever be as wonderful of a dog as Webster?  Would I be able to give 2 dogs the attention they needed?

The thing is, everything fell into place on its own - none of my worries helped anything.  Charlotte was a pest for a couple weeks - she pulled on Webster's tail, slept on his bed, and generally made a bother of herself.  Webster quickly became convinced that she was the queen and he was her loyal knight. 

For several weeks, Charlotte was just a puppy - a cute, sweet, smart, wonderful puppy, but just a puppy.  Webster was my DOG, my companion, my friend; I knew him, he knew me.  It took months for Charlotte to become the friend that Webster was - she is almost 1 yr old and she has definitely become a wonderful dog. 

I'm sure you love Stuart because he is a puppy, because he needs you, and because you chose him; but he is not Rooney and you don't know his personality, his quirks, his strengths and weaknesses.  You won't know those things for months - then suddenly you'll realize that he's not just a cute puppy, he's your dog. Also, when a puppy needs more care, it is easy to see him as a duty, and yourself as a caregiver - not a loving owner. (Of course, taking that responsibility is the true identifier of a loving owner - it just doesn't "feel" the same.)

Dogs and puppies like having a leader.  You are that leader.  You decide where they sleep, who goes where, etc.  As long as you aren't anxious about your decision, the dogs will simply accept your boundaries and be secure with your leadership. 

As far as the food goes, we started feeding Webster the same puppy food as Charlotte.  Webster was just 1 1/2 yrs old and he was sneaking her food anyway.  It was easiest to just feed them the same food because Webster didn't want HIS food - hers was better. 

Rooney has a WONDERFUL life and you are a WONDERFUL owner.  (I I believed in reincarnation, I would want to come back as your dog :-) )  Relax and trust your instincts.  Enjoy Stuart's puppyhood and watch as he grows into the WONDERFUL dog that you will encourage him to be.

[Lynda Kamrath]

Absolutely!  But you will feel better about Stuart when he is health cleared.  Our newest dog sleeps on the bed and the older (larger) dog sleeps on a mat near our bed.  However, as soon as the sheets come up in the morning when we get back in bed with our coffee, he jumps up on the bed for his scratches.  You might even confuse Rooney if you start treating Stuart the same.  Rooney needs to know that he is Alpha in his dog pack.  Stuart will figure out his role soon enough.  We also feed our dogs in different areas.  Groucho eats on the inside of the large sliding glass door in the kitchen and Harpo eats outside.  When we open the door they run to each other's bowls to see if anything is left (usually not).

[Ronna, Murphy & Wilson]

I can't help you Jane but I sure am hoping to learn something from your discussion!  Our new babe (bigger babe) will be born in the next three days and I have had some of the same questions.

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

My thoughts:

1. Totally understandable - when you get the green light aka clean poop, that will probably solve your issues.  Another item of note:  I cannot lie, but Peri annoyed me slightly for the first few days/weeks at home.  I loved her dearly, but she seriously disrupted my calm house and I felt super sorry for Taquito.  I was naturally more affectionate to Taquito and overly compensated for thinking he felt abandoned or mad for us getting a puppy.

2. Yes. I love both of my dogs differently, but EQUALLY.  They both have unique qualities that I adore - and I appreciate them both for what they have to offer. They also both equally drive me crazy LOL.

3. Yes, part of adjustment. Tacky didn't eat for a day or two and pooped on the floor - he was pissed.

4.  Absolutely fine to do. Tacky sleeps with us every night since he is so little.  We didn't want another dog on the bed (DH says NEVER AGAIN), so we trained Peri to cuddle with us before lights go out and then say "off, go to your bed" and she happily goes to her comfy bed on the floor. She loves her bed.  In the mornings, she sometimes wakes up and wants to cuddle before we arise, and we invite her up.  Dogs have different needs and thus, are treated differently. Like Tacky gets homecooked food.  But Peri gets yummy treats he cannot have. They deal with it and love us no matter what :)  It's not like they have the advanced sibling rivalry us humans have.  But Peri does butt Taquito out of the way if he is being cuddled more (he is a lap dog after all).

 

Don't worry; it will work out. Promise.

[Adina P]

1.  I don't think it will 'hurt' Stuart.  A HIGH level of snuggling and physical affection I think does MORE for us than it does for a dog.  Some dogs are snugglier naturally, and others are not.  I guess I just don't think dogs REQUIRE physical affection as much as we do (particularly we women) so I wouldn't feel guilty.  What you're doing right now is necessary and when you feel comfortable giving him more snuggles and kisses or whatever go ahead because it makes you happy, but in the meantime I wouldn't fret over it.

 

2.  Bonding doesn't have to happen ASAP.  I think again because physical affection is super important to you, it's affected YOU, but I don't think it has affected Stuart terribly.  Bonding happens through daily interaction, training, play, simply spending time together and developing a relationship.  But since we each have different 'needs' and expectations for a relationship and it sounds like one of your needs is being able to be very physically affectionate, then the lack thereof has affected you.  But again I don't think it will affect Stuart nearly as much.

 

3.  Probably. 

 

4.  I think that's okay.