Have You Ever Said This or Done That?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

Since we have gotten Fudge and Vern, I have been accused on more than one occasion of putting their needs above some two-legged members of my family.  I decided to put together a little list to see if anyone else has done some of these things. Now mind you, I am not admitting to all of these things and maybe some of them are figments of my imagination, but you never know.  I have changed the names of some of the animals involved to protect the innocent, but would love to have everyone add to my list. Here goes…..have you ever:

 

• Asked your daughter to find another seat in the van, more towards the back, so one of the dogs could have her seat. Not that this ever happened in our van, but if it did, the daughter probably yelled, “Do you know I am a human being!”
• Told your husband to stop sneezing, because if scares Fudge Brownie.
• Asked your husband why he is coming to bed, because you are afraid he will wake up a large cream red colored dog that is taking up his spot.
• Told your elderly mother that if you drive to Oregon Washington with your dogs someday and happen to stop in Indiana Illinois and pick her up, she has to ride in the back because Vernors Pepsi calls shotgun. This was probably said in jest or to dissuade a chair-stealing 85-year-old woman from riding along on this long trip.
• Reminded your husband to make sure he cleans a certain dirty dog’s manly parts after said dog rolled in mud and while husband was bathing dog.
• Asked husband to climb out of bed to help Fudge Princess get up on same bed, because she placed her two front paws on the bed which means she would like permission to come aboard.
• Said in this order…I love you, Chocolate Dog, I love you, Scaredy Doodle, oh..I love you too; man I have been married to for many years.
• Said to your husband that if you die, he needs to find a woman ASAP to stay home and take care of the dogs. You might have also suggested she be kind, caring, and loving and might have heard in response, “wouldn’t that confuse the dogs?”
• Said to one or the other dog, “you are my favorite,” only to look up and find your daughter staring at you in bewilderment.
• Heard one of the members of your family say, “you love those dogs more than me,” and you respond by saying, “my mother taught me if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

 

I could go on and on with these hypothetical questions, but I will stop now.  Please feel free to add any other ones that cross your mind.  It is probably best to change all names so you leave us guessing whether or not these are real life experiences or just an imaginary situation that you have been wondering about over the years.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Your Someone's poor mom. I would offer to adopt her but I know you that person would never allow this to happen, so this is said solely in jest. Make sure you read to the end of the sentence. I have no pity on the rest of someone's relatives. They need to learn where they fit in the pack. My kids go crazy when I mix up their names with the dogs. Luca Spot and Matt John tend to be called randomly, often to the wrong living being. I certainly am fair, I also call each son by the other one's name at times. The sons are wise to this. Even when I catch myself mid name they chastise me.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, I love how you changed the names of the innocent. LOL I am always calling my DD by the wrong name.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

• As for name confusion, I NEVER mix up the sexes: Sons, DH = Ned, Clancy, Simon, Gordie.   Daughter = other female relatives like DIL, GD, cousins.  Now that I am retired, I am starting to call the dogs by the each others' names.. hmmm...
• Sold old jeep and bought a newer one because the dogs needed more riding room and air conditioning when we went places while camping.  Told kids to tough it out and wear a hoodie when they rode in old jeep.
• Dogs get Christmas stockings. Told kids they were grown up and didn't need them any more.
• Dogs go to 'hairdresser' routinely.  Son sits on the edge of the tub while I wield  scissors. I swear to him that I am not too cheap to send him to the hairdresser.
• Dogs have beds in the den.  Children are told to grab a quilt and lay on the tile floor to watch TV.
• When it is really hot, dogs are kept inside, while son is outside weeding. After I put ice cubes in the dogs water to keep it cool and fresh, I  offer him a drink of tap water.
• When the dogs get the zoomies and jump all over the furniture, DH and I think it is cute; when children rough-house, they are told to knock it off.

I could probably think of a few more examples that I swear are my children's false memories.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nancy, I enjoyed reading every minute of your comment. So funny! Kids do have a tendency to mix up their memories, don't they??

[F, Calla & Luca]

Yes they do. And to bring things up from forever ago.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

That is my sister too....still suffering from Middle Child syndrome :)

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am sure my children were raised in another home with other 'mean' parents; it couldn't have been my DH and I!!!  We are always loving and never favor the dogs over them! I swear the dogs are not our favorite children!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LOL

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Asked your sister not to stay at your house while visiting her hometown because my dog will not like you coming here even though you have stayed with us for the past 25 years when you come to town.  There is a hotel near by   :)

Told your sons  they have to call first before coming over to their own house because the dog just does not like you stopping in--it is now her its home.  She claims your room, your bed, and the dirty socks you left and you are just no longer welcome

Yes, I have told them to go to the BACK OF THE VAN! 

Yes, I have told the DH to be careful, or wait a few minutes--poor dog is so tired--he played worked so hard today--can you wait a few minutes before you climb in?

Yes, I have said, " That is the dog's couch.  You can not sit there. You have to come over here and sit down.  If they want to get up on their couch--you have to move"

 

 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, Are you sure you did not grow up in Fort Wayne, IN?

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Ft. Wayne???  Dad goes their on business at least once a month.  What a small world...who lives there??

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Allyson, My husband and I both grew up there and I still have a lot of family, including my mother, there. I just got back from there on Monday. I love Fort Wayne. Small world indeed!