Murphy's "Get Back In Shape" Plan

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I think everyone is probably aware by now why we need to do a little remedial work with Murph.  After his experiences on vacation (and our lack of appropriate training and follow through), he's been acting really "pushy" again at home.  The first thing my trainer noticed when he came through the door today was that Murph had his whole body pressed against DH's legs.  He's been doing this a lot with both of us the past couple of weeks.  He's either leaning against us or pushing his face onto our laps....looking for affection and attention.  We usually give him a quick "pet" when he does this.  WRONG MOVE.  This is part of him being "full of himself"...he's demanding affection (unearned) on his own terms.  So, no more of that.  Whenever he does this we're stepping right into his space and telling him "no".  I'll admit it makes me feel bad, but I know it is the right thing.  He's a little confused now...but he'll catch on.

No more snuggling on our bed for a while.  As long as he's being this pushy he has definitely not earned it.  We're back to working basic commands all through the day, with lots of down/stays.  When he's laying calmly, that's when he gets some "lovin"....on my terms.  He's back to the Gentle Leader whenever we leave the house....much less chance for him to decide to react.  He needs his exercise through this time, and we're committed to some really long working walks (daily), especially while we're going through this process.  I am controlling all his interactions with Guinness, because one "side effect" of his "backsliding" is that he's getting way too dominant with his "brother".  Guinness is usually pretty good at giving it right back, but Murph has been relentless and tonight for the first time in ages, Guinness was hiding from him again.  I hate that, and I won't have it.  We're doing lots of impulse control work.  I'm opening the front door whenever I see a dog walking by and Murph has to sit there quietly and just watch.  Actually that's now going really well.  So, it's kind of a whole mindset that we need to execute all through the day.  It's going to take some real focus on our part, but we've been here before and we can do it again.  If anyone has any other thoughts, I'd please share.  I need all the help I can get.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I stop their "play" as soon as Murph crosses the line, and I put him in a down/stay right next to me and make him calm down.  It's probably not exactly a "correction", but he'll eventually figure out when he does this all the "fun" stops and he's laying next to "mean Mom".

[Bonnie and Kona]

That is exactly what we did with Owen all evening, last night. It's a new world Mr Owen!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you! Vern is starting to be a little rough with Fudge. She used to put a stop to this, but now seems overwhelmed sometimes. I will be trying this tonight.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Hey mean Mom ...... next year at the beach put those dear daughters in a down/stay and hand them the spatula!  You can do it!  No more unearned cuddles for Murphy and no more unearned burgers for daughers!  lol     :o)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Oh boy do I LOVE this!

[Bonnie and Kona]

lol You can do it, Jane! If you can train Murphy for his own good, you can train those daughters for their own good (and yours, too!) Too funny.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

This just makes me want to cry for Murphy.  I hate the idea of "unearned" affection, to my human self this sounds so wrong.  Sometimes people are broken for one reason or another, sometimes dogs are broken too.  Can you force the wound out, train it out - demand the behavior you desire - with a dog eventually I'm sure you can, but as what cost.  I realize that I am humanizing this and I shouldn't,  Murphy is a dog - but does he have to be "fixed", can't he just be who he is.  It just seems so rigid.  Murphy doodle - I feel your pain, I too was traumatized early in life, it leaves scars I know.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I know, but that's a human reaction....and in some areas human psychology and dog psychology differ.  For Murph, rigid is good....he wants and needs rigid.  It gives him security.  Yes, he is "who he is", but that's not a good or comfortable thing FOR HIM right now.  I really need to lay it out in a discussion, because I know it does seem harsh.

[Becka]

Jane, this makes perfect sense to me. Dogs need rules and limitations along with affection. Murphy will be a happier dog if you are a happier owner, and training him to respect the boundaries you set for him will be good for him in the long run.My aunt and her dog are "pathologically bonded" (her words)--she has actually encouraged separation anxiety in him because I think it feeds her need to feel needed. So she has an emotional wreck of a dog. With Sadie I practice the "nothing in life is free" approach, which sounds harsh, but simply means that she has to listen to me (and show that she is listening) before she can have what she wants. I applaud you for sharing this with the forum and for having the patience and wisdom to go the extra mile with Murphy. He is very lucky to have found you.

[Adina P]

It's not the asking for affection that is the problem, Jane.  He isn't just sweetly and calmly coming up for pets.  He's using his body language to be demanding (give it to me NOW) and the meaning of it is very different for him than it is for a human.  He's not "just wanting to feel loved" the way a person might if a person snuggles up to his loved one.  It is a complete other thing going on. 

 

But basically it is not the asking for affection that is needing to be fixed.  It is a whole repertoire of behaviors that cause big problems.  Just treating him as a 'poor puppy who was scarred and now needs love' only leads to him being a jerk toward other people and dogs...it allows him to be insecure and makes his life WORSE.  What Jane has been doing seems to be working well for him and when everything is being done according to her trainer's guidance it seems he starts to thrive, relax, and not feel so much need to be defensive toward the world around him.

 

While I take a different training philosophy overall, whatever Jane is doing when she follows her trainer is showing results in Murphy so it's working for them quite well.  It's only 'rigid' if we try to compare people to dogs.  But we are worlds away in so many ways that that comparison simply can't be made.  Dogs love companionship, they are social creatures.  But they aren't insecure in love like people.  They aren't needing that kind of reassurance typically.

 

I just thought of another comparison.  Dogs who experience a difficult start in life, aren't able to think about it, ponder it or really analyze it the way humans are.  An association is created or a reaction/response is created to a stimulus and it doesn't go beyond that.  They don't/aren't able to feel sad about the fact they didn't get to hang out with their littermates after 6 weeks or 5 weeks or whatever.  They just miss out on some developmental stuff.  And it might affect their social ability greatly or not.  They aren't able to be nostalgic in a positive or negative way. 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Adina, you say things so much better than I do.  You are very right in your assessment.  I am a great big "mushball" of a Doodle Mom.  When it comes to Guinness that's okay.  When it comes to Murphy, it's not a good thing at all.  Give Murph an inch and he'll TAKE OVER.  That's just who he is.  An taking over is not a good thing for Murphy....it adds stress to his life and makes him behave in ways that don't make me happy, and actually make him more insecure.