Did I overreact?

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

My DH and I were out walking the dogs last night (DH was walking Cubbie and I had Ollie who is still a bit crazy on a leash).   The park near our home has a paved walking path that we like to use.  Well, last night Ollie was being a bit jumpy (occasionally one little thing will freak him out and then suddenly he is afraid of everything.)  We walked along the path and went past 2 kids that were yelling and screaming which freaked Ollie out even more.  We were probably about 15ft past them when I heard “Dogs!!!  Let’s go pet them.”  The parents were standing right there but didn’t say anything to the kids.  We just kept walking but then the next thing I know there are 2 kids running up behind us (probably between 8 and 10 years old) screaming “hey, we want to pet your dogs.”  By this point, Ollie had his tail tucked between his legs and was spinning around on the leash while trying to crouch down low to the ground at the same time.  It was all just too much for him.  I turned to the kids who were still a few feet away at this point and politely said “I’m sorry but we are working on training them so you can’t pet them right now.”  Now usually I will get the dogs to sit and then let kids pet them, but I was having a hard time controlling Ollie on the leash and even though he has never snapped at anyone, I didn’t want to take any chances at that moment.  We kept walking, but the kids kept running towards us this time reaching for the dogs.  I stopped and said “please do not touch the dogs.”  (I was getting angry at this point….the parents weren’t even watching their kids).  The kid wasn’t taking no for an answer.  He looked at me with an expression that basically said “crazy lady.  I AM going to pet those dogs” and proceeded to reach towards Ollie.  I wasn’t really thinking and went and grabbed his wrist just before touched Ollie (I didn’t hurt him or anything, it was just to stop him).  I looked at him and said “No, do NOT pet the dog.”  I let go of his arm and started to walk towards home.  The kid continued to argue.  My DH hadn’t said a word through all of this and was just looking at me like I had lost my mind.  I explained that if something had happened and if Ollie had snapped at the kid, we would’ve been the ones in trouble and that was situation that I didn’t want to have to deal with. 

 

Did I overreact?

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

nope..not one bit...those kids need to learn that when someone says no..they mean it.. why are some people able to breed and others that would make wonderful parents aren't..

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Perfect!!!  Kudos for doing a great job of protecting Ollie from a situation he is not ready for yet. He depends on you to do just exactly what you did!! Awesome!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Please don't  think I'm being critical for saying this, but i think...maybe.  If during this whole exchange you were really calm and Ollie did not sense that you were anxious or worried, then I think you are fine.  But if you did convey that you were nervous or apprehensive about the child approaching, then that MIGHT (just might) reinforce with Ollie that kids are not something to be happy about and if Mom gets nervous around them, then he needs to be nervous too.  I understand these are really tough situations, especially with persistent children.  So maybe you were perfectly calm during this exchange, and then I don't think you overreacted at all.  Maybe you could work with Ollie around some children in a controlled setting....that might help give you both some confidence that he'll deal with meeting strange kids with an appropriate reaction.

[Carol and Banjo]

This is so right on Jane.  The energy we project has an enormous impact on our dogs.   Having once had a GS with many "issues" we learned first hand how detrimental our "nervous energy" was to her.  We were so afraid of what she "might" do that we unknowingly created a kind of "self fulfilling phophecy".    Learning to stay calm and controlled is key to handling any dog.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I completely agree that remaining calm, for the sake of the doodle, is the most important thing you need to do, but I would also admit that resisting the desire to coddle them when they are nervous or uncomfortable is the hardest thing not to do.  I have to constantly remind myself of this with Lucy as she is nervous in many situations.

[Becka]

This was clearly a difficult situation that could have ended much worse if you had not intervened as you did. That said, I'd be really apprehensive about touching anyone's child (I realize that you acted in the moment), even if you were doing so to protect that child.  One of the first things we learned in puppy class was how to introduce our dogs to people, and that included dealing with people who didn't ask permission to touch our dogs. Our instructor showed us how to get between our dogs and people who were reaching for them without permission--it wasn't always easy! He (our teacher) did a great job of just continuing to come at us, forcing us to find ways to act as blockers.

 

I don't know what I would have done in your situation, and I'm really glad it worked out OK. Keep working on being calm and assertive (with your dogs as well as people like these kids) and remember to always remind people that they have to ask permission before they can touch your dog. And as you clearly know--it's OK to say no!

[Bonnie and Kona]

This blocking method sounds really helpful. That way you can remain calm and not try to control the person with your voice which could cause the dog to react. Thank you. 

[Adina P]

No I don't think you did.  JUST because the kid was SOOOO rude and unrelenting he deserved to be stopped.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I totally agree with Adina.

 

I also agree with Jane's comments above about not coddling a nervous doodle or projecting anxiety on them, but at the same time, it sounds like the kid was very undisciplined and was being disrespectful to you which he should not have gotten away with. If you bump into those people again that kid would just try the same thing. So yes, I think you did the right thing in this situation for sure.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

No, you did not. This would have freaked Vern out too and then if something happened, we would have been responsible.  I had two young boys approach me in the park and one was in a wheelchair.  Same thing, they were coming towards us pretty fast and wanted to pet the dogs. In this case, the kids were great. I asked them to hold on while I put Vern in the car and explained he is a bit of a chicken and they were very good about waiting and very nice with Fudge. I hate to sound old, but when I was a kid if an adult said NO....this meant NO....and we did not argue. Times have changed. Your first responsibility is to your dogs and making sure they are safe and nothing happens and that is just what you did. Just the fact that the parents did not back you up or get involved says a lot about their parenting and I am sure these kids have trouble with grown ups in other avenues of their life.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have snarlled "Get away from us" in my witch-lady persona and scared the heck out of them. I'm amazed you were able to be as calm as you were.

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

Karen.. I must have known you in baby heaven.. I have that voice and used it this weekend with my mean mama eyes when we were staying at a hotel and this boy..about 9 ran around the corner and almost plowed into my husband.. I yelled.. hey, quit running, you could have knocked him over..just as his mother walked around the corner and didn't say a word.. hello..where is " I am sorry" ..