I can't believe I have to do this...

[Discussing Labradoodles & Goldendoodles]

Please don't judge when you read this and know that it is killing me to do it...but I am looking for a new home for my Grayson. 

Tuesday my husband informed me that he was leaving me and our three children.  He has started work two hours away from home (we were trying to sell our house and join him)...he had met someone in the meantime.  He wanted me and the kids to stay here and he was going to go start his new life...

Well, I don't trust him and am afraid to have even more ripped form me, so I am leaving the house.  I am getting a trailer on my mom and stepdad's property.

Right now we live on 7 acres in the country---they live in town and live above their business (a funeral home) and we will be right next door. 

The trailer will hardly be big enough for me and my three kids---it doesn't seem fair to keep him.

I have a good friend in a homeschooling group and she is trying to find a place through them...they are a great group of people and most are int eh area so I could still see him...if not I will try the DRC.

[Nancie & Gracie Doodle]

This just brings tears to my eyes Amanda.  My father did the exact same thing when I was a child.  He also took, gambled, drank and spent every penny we had.  He left us with a brand new unpaid for house and car.  We were lucky that my uncle owned the dealership and gave us the car and my grandparents were quite wealthy and gave my mother an allowance and helped with the bills so we were able to stay in our house.  Funny, my mother just passed away in May and I am now selling the house 52 years later!  Aside from that.  I know from a child's point of view how their world just turns upside down when something like this happens.  They doubt themselves, blame themselves, ask why, how could you do this, if you loved us you won't do this...on and on.  My heart breaks for all of you and what you are going through.  The hardest part is that there is no time for YOU  because you will be so busy helping your children and giving them a sense of security and love.  It is so sad that on top of all of this you have to rehome Grayson.  It will be one more thing to break the hearts of the boys.  Having the comfort and love of their dog can be so important for them at this time.  Our dogs can be like security blankets for us.  I know this as an adult because my Gracie Doodle had gotten me through so much heartache in the last 4 years and she is the one thing I can go to and never doubt that I am loved or needed.  I don't mean to make you feel any sadder and am certainly not judging you.  I am just saying that Grayson could bring so much comfort and love to your poor boys while you are going through this compete upset in your lives.  I sure wish there was a way you could keep him or have him nearby for the boy sake.  I wish families never had to experience what you are going through.  So many of us have been there and boy it hurts like hell and brings such sadness and anger at the same time.  I hope you are able to find a complete solution to all of this.

[shelly]

Amanda... maybe a little bit of "close quarters" may be a good thing for you, the boys AND Grayson.  Perhaps the times when it may be too much in a small space will be fewer than the days you and the boys will spend missing him????? Just a thought.  I know you are probably thinking of Grayson and the changes he too would go through being cooped up, but maybe it is better than the alternative.  I'm not judging... just trying to help you see a little clearer during a time that your mind may be so cluttered.  good luck we are here for you!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Iwent through a divorce myself many years back.  He left me with over 200lbs of dog, plus 30;lbs of cat, and 30 fish.  During the proceedings I seriously asked that there was PET SUPPORT.  I had a lot of animals to feed.  The attorneys thought I was joking. I was  not.  Of course, I lost on that one but you better believe I tried.

My children lived in fear that not only were they loosing their father, their home, but possibly the animals that brought them comfort.  My dogs were hyper and young then too.

Often in a situation like this we forget that it is the children who should also be considered.  Have you asked them?  They need to feel some control as the world comes down.

My advice--not like you are asking for it but since you freely posted I'll chime in~~ keep as much normalcy as possible with these boys.   I beg you to reconsider.  If I can do it, you can tool.

The dogs stayed~ One just died in their Jr. year of college.  He seemed to be the mascot that kept it all together some days. 

It is very difficult but I urge you to seek out a school counselor or therapist and ask them their opinion. 

This one is important to your boys. 

May you all find peace in the years to come.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

May I add, when I was working long days the dogs provided safety!   No one was going to mess with my home or children.  They felt safe also as they were transitioned into me being out of the home for long periods of time.

 

[Melody & Bruin]

Sounds like keeping Grayson will be additional stress for you.  You must do what is best for you and your boys.  I am glad the boys have other animals that you are able to take with you.  Best of luck to all of you ~ will be keeping you in my prayers

[shelly]

You know your children best... you do not need to feel an explanation is needed.  I'm glad they can be surrounded by their other pets.I know as a mother you will remain strong for your boys, but  hope you have the chance to let loose and grieve with your mom.  Mommies need their moms too at times!   Just know we are here for you too.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I am very sorry to hear your sad news. When you are going through something like this it seems never ending. As others have told you and I too have experienced, life can be better on the other side. But it takes lots of time, anger and tears. I would seriously advise you to make no irrevocable decision about Grayson or anything more than you already have until you have some time to equilibrate.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I am so sorry for you Amanda, no judgement from me about your situation with Grayson. I am surprised, since that Cad of a husband was close to him that he hasn't suggested he take him. But then again he is willing to leave his children, enough said.

Your family is in my prayers.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

What a horrible situation you've been put into.  So sorry!!!

[Kim]

I am so sorry for what your family is going through.  You will move past this and life will be so much better for you in the end.  He WILL eventually realize what he has lost.  This happened to me 9 years ago as well.  We didn't have any animals, but I did have a 3 year old.  I left with nothing except for me and my Son, and now I have everything I need/want - which is the BEST revenge - especially when he is still unhappy!  It took a long time and was extremely hard - especially at first, but in the end I am thankful for what he did to me.  I know that I can survive with almost nothing and that I will better in the end - and so will you.  Stay strong for your kids, bite your tongue and speak nicely of him in front of them, they will notice and be thankful.

[Ellen, Brûlée, and Tira]

Amanda, although it feels totally inadequatesaying this, I am terribly sorry for your pain. 

 Go slowly on your big decisions, and listen to your heart.  Work each day on finding some joy for yourself and your boys.  Set goals for your future that will make your tomorrow better.  You will come out on the other side, and you WILL be stronger!  You are blessed to have parents to walk through this with you and your children.  We are always here, at DK, for you.   

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Is there anyone out there who would consider giving Grayson a home?  We are all so upset and shocked by what has happened to you that perhaps the DK community can help you with rehoming Grayson so at least you will have one thing less to worry about.  This is another of these situations where I am totally useless as I am so far away.