Who Wants Fudge and Vern? Jumping on the Bandwagon Here!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

There have been several discussions lately about what happens to your dogs if something happens to you.  I know this will surprise all of you, but I had actually written a blog about this same subject back in November and never put it out there because I was waiting for the right time.  Someday, I will post that blog, but for now I need to know who is going to take Fudge and Vern if something happens to me and my husband is too busy celebrating grieving to properly care for them.  Sure, he says now that no one is ever getting his dogs, but what if he meets some floozy who uses her feminine wiles to have her way with him and keeps whispering in his ears, “there is more where that came from IF you get rid of those dogs.”  A part of me doesn’t know if he will fall for this ruse because I have not had much luck when I whisper in his ears.  In fact, the other night I tried it and first he said, “Did you just spit in my ear?” and then when I blew again and said, “just looking at you turns me on, “ he started clapping his hands together and said, “Clap off!”  On the other hand, if she whispers in his ears, cooks a good home cooked meal for him, and happens to mention she loves to watch the Tour de France, it is only a matter of time before Fudge and Vern will be watching the two of them ride off into the sunset on their tandem bike with a string of Gatorade cans dragging behind.  

 

Before I choose Fudge and Vern’s guardians, and keep in mind, my husband has said on more than one occasion that if he ever gets out of this marriage, he is never ever dating or marrying again, but just in case, I want a backup.  I also want all of you to be on the look out for a change in my moniker and if you wake up one day and see Bunny, Fudge and Vern or Bambi, Fudge and Vern, you know I have been replaced and I want all of you to swarm my house like a bunch of brides running for the big sale at Filene’s Basement and get my two doodles to my approved DK guardian home. He might put up a fight, so I want Karen and F to lead the way. The best time to spring Fudge and Vern is either early in the morning when my husband is in the bathroom, right after work when he is in the bathroom, or between 6-7 pm when Daniel Boone is on or he is in the bathroom.  

 

Some things I am NOT looking for, because it will confuse Fudge and Vern and make the transition harder, are the following:

 

• Thin, sexy people.
• A good dresser.
• Someone with a good singing voice.
• Someone who drives cautiously and within the speed limit.
• A good dog trainer. Must be willing to fight on walks with spouse about dog training and who is doing it correctly.
• A jogger. Prefer a person whose jogging and/or running looks exactly like their walking.
• A quiet person.
• A patient person.
• Person who likes to stretch out in bed.
• Person who values their privacy in the bathroom.

 

 

Other than that, Fudge and Vern stay together and should get lots and lots of hugs and kisses every single day. Also, the last thing I say every night before falling asleep is, “I love you, Fudge…I love you, Vern….oh, and I love you DH!”  I would like this to continue, although you can leave out the "I love you Laurie's DH," part.  We are now open for applications and I would prefer a short essay telling me why you think your home would be good for Fudge and Vern!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Laurie, How can you still be living without a DVR? I can record 2 shows and watch a third. My dogs don't have to cross their legs waiting to go out when I'm watching something. It's a necessity not a luxury IMHO.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

We had a TIVO for years. Our cable company made us go digital (by law) and now our TIVO does not work. I hate our cable company and refuse to pay them one more penny for a DVR. I will probably give in at some point, but for now I stand on my high horse :) LOL

[F, Calla & Luca]

Watch out, it's a long way down when you fall off your high horse. I have an old DVR that I bought predigital era, that's how desperate I was. But I wrote one of my infamous letters to the CEO of my cable company a while back and now get my DVR free for life since new customers were getting that deal and I can be very persuasive : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I write letters all the time. I might have to try this method :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Don't worry, F, I've got your back! And if worst comes to worst, there's always the famous attorney, Jackdoodle Esq., whose rates are extremely reasonable.

My heart is still broken over the loss of Elliott Stabler, as well as my heartthrob Bobby Goren and Criminal Intent.

 

[F, Calla & Luca]

I feel better now and free to indulge any antisocial impulses, thanks. And JD, I will certainly rely upon him if need be. I loved Elliott Stabler too but I really never got into Criminal Intent and only watched L and O itself sporadically. So much TV, so little time. I tend to watch shows that require no attention so I can do other things at the same time or all my attention--bizarre no : )

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Yes, I think it does!

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

BG you are perfect. I love the getaway car comment the best. That's Awesome!

[Donna K & Quincy]

Thin I'm not but I am a lot shorter that you, do Fudge and Vern like short people?

The only time I'm a good dresser is on special occasions and then it takes a lot of effort.

My son once told me to stop singing because I was hurting his ears so no worries there.

Speed limit, isn't that the top number on your speedometer?

The dog trainer is a bit of a stretch for me, I'm pretty lazy in that department.

I used to jog but I don't any more I have very old knees.

I don't think I've ever been accused of being quiet or patient but I do really try with the patience thing.

I have become quite accustomed to sleeping in a two foot square space and Quincy thinks a bathroom break is the perfect time to get his ears scratched and if I'm in the bath he likes to lay on the floor and keep me company.

My DH often says he would like a house full of doodles and since I am on Jane's list for Rooney and Stuart and with the addition of Fudge and Vern we'd be up to five, my house would be overflowing. In about a month I will have all the time in the world to spend with them.  Our climate is sort of similar to yours and I do like to spend lots of time outside. I can just picture me now on my x-country skis being escorted by 5 doodles.

Of course there is the cross border thing to think about but I don't think that would be an issue with the proper paper work. I can see there is a bit of a line ahead of me but since I envision a long, long life for you I hope it is something you never have to worry about.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, My dogs would love to live with you! Frankly, I would love to live with you and go on whale watching expeditions with you, snapping picture after picture, frolicking in the park....the heck with Fudge and Vern, adopt me :)

[FrenchPoodleDoodle]

Umm...you have two capable daughters...what about them? One of them, might I add, is like your clone. :)

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

What a great idea. 

I know, she has written the chair goes to her mom.   Vern, will have to find a new one.

Do you have a chair for Vern?  If so,  you would be perfect.   After all, Fudge is in LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE with your hubby