I think I made a mistake?

[Christina and Cooper plus Benny]

Two weekends ago, my significant other and I came across a small doodle at a rescue in Portland.  He was in terrible shape, bitten by other dogs, weighs 10 lbs and should be 15+ and in an awful situation.  We filled out the paperwork, wrote the check and brought him home to Bend, OR - about 4 hours away. 

We got him home and started the process of re-housebreaking, getting him healthy, etc.  He has gained a pound is adapting well.  We had initially thought we would want to keep him.  However, our number one dog, Cooper, does not like him (they met each other at the rescue and were fine, but not overly warm or welcoming.)  The new little dog is a lap dog and really wants to be sitting on me somewhere at all times.  Cooper is obviously very jealous.  I feel guilty even holding the new dog and am having a very hard time dealing with the guilt.  I had previously fostered a dog, and I had no problems with Cooper being jealous so I am not sure why this one is so tough, other than the new dog is a lap type dog and my foster wasn’t. It has now been a week and a half and Cooper has been sick the whole time - vomiting and diarrhea.  He is lethargic and not interested in anything.  I have been to the vet 4 times.  In addition, I took them to the park and let them play over the weekend and Cooper kept head butting the little guy and knocking him over.  He guards me and tries to keep little one away.  He never did this with the foster, so not sure why we are having so many problems.  The little one also tried to pee on me – marking me as his if you will.

As much as it pains me to say this, I am not sure the new little guy will be the right fit for our family.  He obviously needed rescued and we did the best we could for him by getting him out of that horrid situation, but I am concerned we are not his forever home? I know above all, I do not want to compromise Cooper for this new dog.  I thought getting a buddy for Coop would be a good thing, but perhaps I was wrong?  Or I just got the wrong buddy?  Or maybe the problem is I have two number one dogs and nobody is wanting to share me.

I have been treating Coop like he is number one – feed him first, pet him first, take him out by himself, etc.  I work from home, so I am around both dogs all the time.

This whole thing is eating me up – I haven’t slept well in days, I have lost 7 pounds in a week and I don’t know what to do for them?  The vet said to keep them separate for a bit, so little one is napping in his kennel and Coop is in here with me.

I honestly think maybe little dog would do best as a single dog with and owner that loves to have him sit on his/her lap?

So I am asking for help.  How do I make this current situation better?  And what can I do so everyone is getting what they need and having the best life possible?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Amy, This is really good information to know when bringing a second dog into your household. Thank you for sharing.

[Christina and Cooper plus Benny]

Agreed.  Amy, thank you so much for sharing!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

When we brought Peri home, Taquito (then 5 years old) the chihuahua hated her. He pooped on the floor, hid in his crate, etc...it took 2 weeks for him to start coming out of his funk - it literally happened overnight - I looked and there they were, playing together! 

What we did:  1) continued to let Tacky sleep in bed with us while Peri was in crate, 2) took Tacky on errands, walks without Peri, 3) lots and lots of attention on Taquito - extra treats, etc...even when I was training Peri and T. wasn't doing anything.

 

I agree that you need ot be in charge.  I also agree to take him to the vet and make sure he doesn't have bacteria or an infection in his tummy.   If I were you, I would hang in a while longer.

[Christina and Cooper plus Benny]

We have been having little dog sleep in the crate and Coop sleeps with us.  But over the weekend, I wasn't feeling well, and allowed both to "nap" with me in the bed.  I think this was a big mistake.  We are back to little dog not being allowed on the bed....

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

And btw, Tacky STILL guards me and keeps Peri away from time to time.  They definitely compete for my attention and honestly, Taquito is the alpha dog - seniority has ruled in my house.  6 vs. 25 pounds doesn't matter.  Seniority has.

[Christina and Cooper plus Benny]

Thank you all so much for the feedback!  We have taken a step back and started treating little dog like a "foster" - not as much attention, and no more sitting on my lap.  He tries, and I make him sit on the couch next to me and make sure there is room for Coop.  This seems to have helped a lot.  As for what we are going to do long term, not sure yet.  We are taking it one day at a time, and yes, I know it is going to take longer than a week and a half for him to fit in, but I can't have Coop sick for a month or more.  And yes, Coop has been to the vet - 4 times.  Trust me, we have been to the vet and are currently at over $500 in vet bills last week alone....the vet calls us daily to check on us.  We have treated both for Giardia and bacteria to be on the safe side.  Little one is doing great.  Coop isn't.

We know we did the right thing by getting little dog out of his current situation and if we end up only being a foster and helping him on the way to the best home for him, so be it.  If it turns out we are the best home for him, that will be great too.     We have learned a lot about Coop and ourselves through this process.   Coop may do best as an only dog?  If that is what he needs, that is what he will get.  Coop and my family are my number one priority.  I hope little dog can make an adjustment and fit in, but if he can't and needs more than just being second dog, we will do what is best for him.  We will see what the next few weeks hold and go from there.  We will do the very best we can for this little guy - and that is more than anybody else has done for him, but we aren't going to force him or Coop to be unhappy just to fit in our home.  Both dogs and us people need to be happy with the situation to make this work.

I have just found out I have some serious medical problems and will have to have a rarely performed surgery soon - in Seattle, and my significant other is getting a kidney transplant later this year.  We may have bit off more than we should have, but I know getting little dog out of his current situation was what we had to do.   He was on his last leg in his old situation, and I hate that we may have to transition him again, but if we hadn't taken him, he would not be here right now.  Bottom line.  I guess I should say I do not regret getting him out of there, and I will never regret that, no matter what happens going forward. 

Thank you all for your advice, the adjustments suggested have allowed us to make the situation better.  We will keep working on it!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Christina, I know that whatever you decide, it will be the right thing for all of you. Hugs and our very best wishes for successful surgeries for you & your significant other.

[Christina and Cooper plus Benny]

Thanks Karen!  After talking it over last night we kind of realized we got a second dog because little dog really really needed help, not because we really wanted a second dog.  I think that is the root of our problem.... 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Always. The owner has to really want the dog, regardless of the circumstances.

You saved the little guy's life. That's what counts here. Having worked with you as a foster, and seen the concern you had for placing your foster in the perfect situation for him, I know for a fact that Little Dog will end up in the home that is right for him, regardless of where that might be.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

I'm sorry to hear of you and your DH's health challenges and am praying for a great outcome for both of you.

I like your plan for the dogs and know that you will do what is best for all concerned. Thanks again for showing Little Dog that the world can be a kind and loving place.

[Carol and Banjo]

Christina,  You certainly thought this out very clearly and I'm sure you'll make the best decision for your family and Little Dog.   I'm so sorry for your health issues and will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.  Doodle hugs to all of you!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I agree.  Do what is best for you and your family.  You already saved little dog and if you need to rehome home, he will be OK.