Confused new owner of a Labradoodle

[Confused Doodle]

I am very confused. We got a Australian Labradoodle pup and have had her for just a few days,my son is having a very hard time adjusting to her, ie. she barks and he has meltdowns, she comes near him

to play,and he has huge meltdowns, he only wants to play with her when shes far away or they are outside when they come into the house he wants nothing to do with her, its causing huge amounts of stress in our house, considering my son has autism and is non-verbal, has there ever been a instance where a pup has been returned to the breeder? We paid 3k for her,and its not even about the money I would return her tothe breeder because I would know this wonderful puppy would end up in a good home.Shes amazing, calm I just feel like its not going to work out for us.

[Adrianne Matzkin]

I have nothing to add but just wanted to let you know that you have joined an incredible group of Doodle families that give advice from the heart and it sounds like you have gotten some great advice. You are not being a bad Mom to that pup - to let her go to another family now, if that is what you decide to do, would be best for her. You have 2 kids to think about.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Christine & Camus]

Your post touched my heart and I applaud your efforts and your concern for both your son and your puppy.  You have gotten a lot of good advice and I'm sure you will make the right decision. 

[Adina P]

I'm so sorry it doesn't seem to be working out.  It probably is best, if you do want a dog in your home, to get an adult dog--especially one that has been already trained and isn't naturally a barker.  I can imagine (though only now that you mentioned it) how a child with autism COULD be frightened by an erratic (though calm), energetic puppy with funny noises.  Best of luck to you and your family.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I have a twenty-six year old son with Down Syndrome, and we have two Doodles.  Ever since my son was born there have always been dogs in the house.  To be perfectly honest, he has never really liked any of our dogs, although he has learned how to be fairly comfortable around them.  The dogs have always been "for me"....never for him.  He would be much happier if there were no pets in the house.  He gets upset when they bark and so a lot of our training with the dogs has been on not barking.  I think he's also a little afraid of our standard Doodle, and of course the dog senses that.  He has a good friend who is Autistic and he is  extremely uncomfortable around our dogs.  We actually gate them in another room when his friend is here.  I would like to tell you that your son will likely outgrow this, but I'm not sure that is the case.  I have always read about how pets can be so helpful for special needs kids, and I wanted that experience for my son.  That was just "not his thing".  I'm glad we have the dogs, because it has helped him somewhat with his fear issues, but they will never be "bonded" like I had always hoped.  If I were in your position and I personally was not "in love" with this puppy, I would return her to the breeder.  I know this is a little different advice, but I think it's the best thing for the puppy and your son right now.

[Moe]

The breeder I went to had a puppy that was returned at 6mo from a family with a son with autism. I tried to get the dog but in the two days I took to think about it someone else had taken him home. Puppies can be unpredictable, mouthy and jumpy. The breeder told me that particular family ended up with an older smaller dog that was calmer. Puppies are hard for typical kids to negotiate. I think you're doing the right thing by contacting the breeder. You need to do what is best for your family - get rid of the guilt. You could look into Autism Service Dogs of America. The screen the child to see if a therapy dog is a good match with the child. The dogs are expensive but they help with fundraising ideas. My friend's autistic son does horse back riding for kids with special needs. He loves it.

[Leslie J]

I'm so sorry that things aren't working out for you.  Puppies do have very sharp barks and that can be very troubling for children on the spectrum.  Perhaps a quieter pet would be better.  I used to have a very mellow guinea pig and my neighbor's son (who had autism) loved her.  She would sit in his lap and he could pet her soft fur... but when he had enough time with her we could put her in her pen and he felt like he was still in control of his personal space.  A guinea pig rescue could let you visit guinea pigs with him and see how he responds to them.  They could also help you find a calm, relaxing one.

[Noble Vestal Labradoodles]

I think I am jumping in at the end of this but have you contacted your breeder to let them know about the situation?  Puppies can be bouncy and playful but need their time to be alone and chill too.  As your puppy grows and you train it, it is not going to jump and bark but training is key.

What part of the country are you in?  This is a very resourceful group and I am sure someone can refer you to a trainer.  It is not to early to start even though she is just 8 weeks.