How Do You Say "No" to an On-leash Greeting?

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

I did a search and didn’t see what I was looking for but if I missed it please just let me know.

 

I know that many of you here do not allow your dog to greet another dog while on-leash.  I can go either way with Cubbie and I really just used to go on a case by case basis with him and it would depend on where we were and who the other dog was.  Things are a bit different with Ollie though.  After we had the incident at the vet where another dog charged up to him and he reacted by grabbing the other dog’s muzzle I don’t even let him get near another dog while on leash.  I didn’t see the whole incident at the vet because my DH had Ollie while I had Cubbie so I don’t have a lot of details on what actually transpired but I do not want a repeat of that situation. 

 

I have Ollie enrolled in a Advanced Obedience/CGC course and he is pretty much terrified to be there.  He sits next to me before class starts and his whole body just shakes.  He won’t even take treats from me and he is typically very food motivated.  Once class starts and we are going through the exercises he seems to calm down and responds to me and eventually takes his food rewards.  But knowing that he’s probably still anxious, I make sure to keep a distance between him and the other dogs.  We have a large class so in order to work on the separation part of the CGC requirements, we partner up and switch dogs and one pair leaves the room.  Ollie has a fear of strange men so depending on my partner this exercise can be very difficult for him (he still won’t go near my brother and it has been a year and we have worked with a trainer).    Last night I was partnered up with a man in the class and when he returned with Ollie all he said was “nervous, nervous, nervous” like it was my fault.  As we were leaving class, I held back so that the other dogs could leave first and Ollie wouldn’t have a chance to react to a dog coming up quickly behind him.  Well, my partner from that class also stayed back to find out if Ollie was always like that.  I explained that we had adopted him last summer and aren’t sure of what he experienced in the past, but that we have had many issues to work through but that he has come a long way.  He then went on to ask how Ollie is around other dogs.  I told him that he enjoys going to daycare and doesn’t seem to be afraid of them in the class setting.  The man then suggested that Ollie and his dog get to know each other and started to walk over.  I stepped slightly in front of Ollie, who was trying desperately to get out of the building, and told the guy that I don’t allow him to greet other dogs when on-leash.  The guy didn’t understand what I was talking about and I told him that he is not allowed to go up to another dog if I he has his leash on.  I got the “oh-kaaaay” response that basically meant the guy thought I was a nut, so of course I said “sorry”.

 

Ollie and I quickly left class and as I drove home I was angry with myself for feeling like I had to apologize for saying no to an on leash greeting.  I wish I didn’t have to worry about Ollie going up to another dog, but I do.  I’m pretty sure I will have to go through this again and am wondering what other people say to politely yet firmly turn down a request to let your dog greet another dog.  If we are out on a walk people usually get the idea when I step aside and put the doods into a sit/stay and tell them to leave it.  I just don’t know how to handle a direct request for an on leash greeting.  I have put so much time and effort into training my dogs and I always feel like people think I have untrained dangerous dogs when I go to such lengths to keep them a safe distance from other leashed dogs.  I just know that Ollie gets easily stressed and overwhelmed and don’t want to give him the opportunity to react negatively out of fear.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

I  had a dog that was extremely reactive when on leash. I went through the same feelings that you are describing when trying to nicely keep dogs away from him. I found out that people were rarely respectful of my wishes until I started saying "Keep your dog back! My dog will BITE your dog!" That seemed to get their attention! LOL! I felt my first duty was to my dog and secondly to protect their dog (since they didn't seem to GET it!)  I got to the point where I didn't care what they thought about me because properly handling a dangerous situation was more important. Good luck with Ollie!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Without reading the other suggestions, here is exactly what I would and have said if I thought there might be a problem with another dog, "My dog is a rescue and came to us with some issues that we are working on.  Because of this I don't ...______(fill in the blank)."  Once I have said that he is a rescue, I have  found others to be extremely sympathetic and while they may not agree with me on whatever, I have found that they comply with my request.  Last summer, when we were camping we walked past a family that had a goldendoodle at home.  Without permission the older grandmother got her face right down in Clancy's and he snarled and lunged at her - we were all surprised and shocked.  We told them he was a rescue, and they were apologetic about the grandmother's behavior - luckily no on was harmed and they accepted that they had been responsible.  I have NO idea what really set Clancy off because others have done that (not with permission) and we do it and there has never been a problem, but he is a rescue and perhaps was mistreated by an older Asian woman wearing glasses and a hat....:-}

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

I really wish that people would stop and think before doing things like that.  Yes, doodles are cute and can act silly and goofy, but they are still dogs that can react in a negative way from time to time.  That would be an advantage to having a dog that has been given the rep of being a "bully breed".  They probably rarely hear "awww how cute" followed by someone reaching for their dog. 

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

This is true! I had a dog that was 1/2 pit bull terrier. People would ask the same question that they do of Tara "What kind of a dog is that?" In a totally different tone of voice though! And no one approached her like they do Tara. Funny thing is that she was a totally love muffin! In her 15 years I never saw her act aggressively toward anyone.  Maybe it's because no one ever got close enough! LOL!

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

It is so nice to be able to come to DK to ask a question like this and know that no one is going to ask me WHY I have a dog that is reactive around other dogs and get all judgmental about how I deal with Ollie's issues. 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Oh Amy, can I ever relate.

[Becka]

Amy, you did exactly the right thing! In the first obedience class Sadie and I took, greetings were one of the first things we worked on, and our trainer taught us to do what you did--get between your dog and anyone who doesn't seem to be able to take no for an answer. The guy, while perhaps well-meaning, was clueless. You were just being a good dog mom!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I don't have you concerns about my dogs but I always ask about dogs we may meet. If anyone tells me any reason whatsoever, or none at all, that their dog should not be approached my me and/or the dogs that's it. I take it that an owner has a reason for saying we should avoid meeting and we do.

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

I know that it's been a couple months since this discussion was in full swing, but I have a slightly different perspective to add.  Wally is not reactive to other dogs, but I still don't let him greet them on walks, because we have had a few terrible interactions with other dogs who reacted aggressively during on-leash greetings.  

Wally is totally gentle, but if another dog bares his/her teeth and seems ready to bite, Wally will most definitely defend himself.  I ended up in the hospital last year, when a "friendly" dog became ferocious while saying a face-to-face hello to Wally on a walk.  

Now, when people ask me if Wally is friendly and can say, hi, I say something like this:  "Yes, he's friendly, but no, he can't say hello while we're walking."  Then with a smile, I add:  "Perhaps they can play together in the park one day."  That seems to do the trick.  I'm just not willing to risk personal injury or danger to my dog. 

[Lynda Kamrath]

I have noticed that dogs are much more protective when they are on leash.  If another dog approaches them who is off leash when they are on leash, they tend to act aggressive.  We were out walking our dogs on leash tonight and a man with a very nice bulldog passed us with his dog off leash.  He asked if our dogs were friendly and I answered "too friendly, but not when they are on leash."  Groucho snarled at his dog and they walked quickly away.  On the way back, our dogs were off leash and he passed us again and the dogs were happily playing with each other.  He commented on the off leash difference with their behavior.  I have definitely noticed this before.  Once two big dogs ran up to me when Groucho was on leash walking with me and he just attacked them.  He doesn't allow any other dogs near me when he is "on duty" as my guard dog.

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

We took our puppy, Charlotte, to her first session with a trainer yesterday morning, and I asked the trainer for her opinion on the topic of leashed greetings.  She told me that she does not allow her own dogs to greet or be greeted while leashed.  She added that you never know how another person's dog will react, so she plays it safe every time.