Continuation of Sherri's Rehome Discussion!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have been up since 5:30 am thinking about Sherri’s discussion about all of the recent rehoming discussions.   She is right in that we have to come up with some way to deal with these discussions.  As worried as I am about the dogs in question, I am equally as worried about the way these discussions divide our DK community.  We have had discussions on being nice that didn’t end up so nicely and plenty of arguments as to how a discussion was handled and how it could have been handled better.  Sometimes I agree.  Sometimes I don’t, but yesterday hit a nerve because I felt like I was nice.  I said please and thank you and still we were not nice enough.  Even some of the comments about what we should have done, we did do, and still the poster got upset and closed the discussion and everyone is in agreement that the real loser is going to be that dog.  The bottom line is however I think we handled it or didn't handle it, we didn't get through to that poster and so I do agree, we need a better way.

 

I am not here to re-hash that discussion, because honestly I am mad about it and in the long run, no one should care about that as much as we do about helping the next dog that appears in the next rehome discussion, and we all know there will be another dog soon.  There is absolutely no way to control a discussion like the one yesterday or the others before that because unless we send out a script to all of our members telling them to please not respond emotionally or negatively to anyone trying to rehome their dog for any old reason, someone is going to respond passionately and get someone else mad.  At first, the thing that upset me yesterday is that people who had not read the comments or offered any assistance to the poster were critical of those of us who did, but since those people are some of the ones I respect the most here on DK, I also know they care as much about these dogs as I do and even if we don't agree, they have a right to their opinion.   Trust me, when I say that is a hard one for me :) I also know there is a wide range of people on DK with varying opinions and sometimes we have to put aside our personal feelings to get something done for a dog that needs our help.  I also know that behind every comment is the need to help a dog.

 

It seemed to me that the majority of the responders to Sherri’s post felt like we hardly ever talk anyone out of rehoming their dogs once they post and we should just respond with the facts and keep emotions out of responses.  With that said, I think the discussions are right to be on the front page, but I think we need a link or something to refer the person to the DRC or IDog and after that, I hope the discussion gets closed so no further comments can be made. 

P.S. Please note: if you disagree with me I will close the discussion :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

We were afraid of that :) LOL

[F, Calla & Luca]

: )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I waited all day for this :) You can do better!

[F, Calla & Luca]

: ) : )

[Adina P]

Laurie, I did privately message the poster with links to DRC and IDOG.  So she did get the info.  But yes, once we have a page with info it will go more smoothly I think.  We have talked about such info in the past, and it never got done, I'm glad Sherri is taking this on as a project.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Adina, once I draft the info, how do I make it into a page? Should I just send it to you?

[Adrianne Matzkin]

Sherri - the DRC has a 'rehome assistance form' - it's on the front page. 

I follow all these posts but haven't responded because most of what I would say has been said by others and I just can't get the 'nice' words together to post. I know that getting pissy at these people won't solve anything, giving advice to help them find a way to keep their doodle with them won't work with 99.9% of them- they have already made up their minds. With that being said, there was one family that I dealt with through DRC via emails and then phone calls did make the decision to get a trainer and get the entire family on board to make it work. Somehow I made her understand that her doodle is doing the typical doodle behaviors and it was the humans in the home doing the wrong thing in response to those behaviors. Most people don't want to believe it is their fault. The last I heard things were going in a positive direction  but she knows that if anything changes she can call me. I just wish others would take that simple advice and work with their doodle, more importantly the people in the home, to save that doodle from looking for a new home. 

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

Thanks Adrianne, I'll be sure to incorporate this info into the info link.

[Adina P]

You can't create the page.  I will create the page and put in the info you have written up once you've got the Final Draft ready. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you, Adina!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I agree that the discussion should be on the front page. I agree that we need a convenient link to all pertinent information on rehoming. I think we can have a good, chock full of information link on the Help tab, that Sherri has offered to write.

[Sue and Buddy]

I wonder if re-homing requests should be handled the same as request for breeder recommendations. Refer the poster to the proper organizations and not have a public discussion. 

The horrible truth is that there are people that get dogs at a whim and want to get rid of them at another whim. Doodles are very popular and becoming more so. This problem is not going away.  This is the perfect place to look to dump an unwanted doodle. The re-homing discussions are  emotional by nature. I don't see how to discuss it with out caring and getting emotional. Does anything good ever come from one of these discussions?