Continuation of Sherri's Rehome Discussion!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have been up since 5:30 am thinking about Sherri’s discussion about all of the recent rehoming discussions.   She is right in that we have to come up with some way to deal with these discussions.  As worried as I am about the dogs in question, I am equally as worried about the way these discussions divide our DK community.  We have had discussions on being nice that didn’t end up so nicely and plenty of arguments as to how a discussion was handled and how it could have been handled better.  Sometimes I agree.  Sometimes I don’t, but yesterday hit a nerve because I felt like I was nice.  I said please and thank you and still we were not nice enough.  Even some of the comments about what we should have done, we did do, and still the poster got upset and closed the discussion and everyone is in agreement that the real loser is going to be that dog.  The bottom line is however I think we handled it or didn't handle it, we didn't get through to that poster and so I do agree, we need a better way.

 

I am not here to re-hash that discussion, because honestly I am mad about it and in the long run, no one should care about that as much as we do about helping the next dog that appears in the next rehome discussion, and we all know there will be another dog soon.  There is absolutely no way to control a discussion like the one yesterday or the others before that because unless we send out a script to all of our members telling them to please not respond emotionally or negatively to anyone trying to rehome their dog for any old reason, someone is going to respond passionately and get someone else mad.  At first, the thing that upset me yesterday is that people who had not read the comments or offered any assistance to the poster were critical of those of us who did, but since those people are some of the ones I respect the most here on DK, I also know they care as much about these dogs as I do and even if we don't agree, they have a right to their opinion.   Trust me, when I say that is a hard one for me :) I also know there is a wide range of people on DK with varying opinions and sometimes we have to put aside our personal feelings to get something done for a dog that needs our help.  I also know that behind every comment is the need to help a dog.

 

It seemed to me that the majority of the responders to Sherri’s post felt like we hardly ever talk anyone out of rehoming their dogs once they post and we should just respond with the facts and keep emotions out of responses.  With that said, I think the discussions are right to be on the front page, but I think we need a link or something to refer the person to the DRC or IDog and after that, I hope the discussion gets closed so no further comments can be made. 

P.S. Please note: if you disagree with me I will close the discussion :)

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

My mom has a t-shirt that says "Well behaved women rarely make history" and she has always taught me to politely speak my mind if I care about something.  We don't have to be rude or crazy!  We just don't need to stay silent :) 

 

On a positive note, after so much discussion about rehoming, I opened Facebook last night to find a string of posts from a local rescue org - EVERY ONE OF THEM had photos of dogs and their new furever homes!  People hugging their new dogs...seniors, blind dogs, etc...

So you see some bad, but then you see some good and that makes it bearable :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Allyson, You are going to make a great mother :) I love this picture!!

[Jennifer and Jack]

I agree Joanne

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, John is very unhappy with you right now. I told him this morning I was keeping my mouth shut and I haven't seen him that happy since our honeymoon and now you tell me I am wrong. When I gave him the good news that I am back in business, he started crying :) LOL

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sherri had another good point. What happens when a dog gets referred to the DRC and IDOG and they can't take the dog?  How do we know when to refer them to those groups versus a local rescue?

[Adina P]

Whoever feels called upon to respond to a rehome post can easily look up rescues close to that person or direct them to Petfinder and tell them how they can search.  Or does DRC/IDOG help people in that way or do they just say 'sorry we are full?"  I would hope they would educate them on where else they can look...

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I get the impression there are times when they don't even have the time to respond at all. I don't know, could be wrong...

[Adrianne Matzkin]

I know that the DRC never says 'we are full'. Right now Jacquie and Jeannine with their 4 collective doodles are fostering Snickers. Sometimes we cannot help if the doodle has to leave their home immediately and we do not have a foster home available. If anyone here wants to offer a temporary home to a doodle, let me know!

[Jennifer and Jack]

I think a lot of peoples opinions are based on where they are at in life. I am still new to the dog world.. Just three and half years into it.. I have rose colored glasses on so to speak... I still believe in the good of a lot of people. I still believe in not doubting what people say and always wanting to help them.

Kind of like when I was a new nurse, I believed every drug seeker that said they were in pain. They came to the ER, I didn't judge, I helped the best I could.... till time after time after time they burned me. One time I believed a girl that she would behave if I took the restraints off of her, she was strapped to a bed in four point leather restraints..she suckered me into believing she was just misunderstood.. as soon as I had security take the restraints off of her, she pounded me until security pulled her off of me and tied her back up.

Lesson learned...

I guess what I am saying is... we have to accept people where they are at.. some people just have more experience with being burned by people who mistreat their dogs, re home because the dog no longer matches the decor and you know what????  If you have been doing this awhile and you have been around the block a while, you can't help but get cynical, burnt out and overwhelmed. You can 't save every dog... we just can't and that is an overwhelming thought.

In my inexperienced opinion because owning a dog from a breeder that has never had any true problems just about disqualifies me from this discussion. I like the idea of people who are not burnt out on helping being the "first responders' to the posts.. People who have not been burned yet so many times that they can't help but automatically want to punch these people out.

Not at all what happen with the post yesterday.. Everyone was so nice.. but maybe like Adina had a group of people that were the "greeters" on DK maybe we can have a group of people willing to reach out, to give the links, and to go about it that way and leave the people who just can't take anymore out of it.

It is too overwhelming when you give day in and day out to people....

Another example of what I try to do to take the job off of the normal people who respond to everything is ..step in when someone posts for the 129999999999999 time about looking for a breeder, I try to post the links so that the same old people are not stuck repeating themselves a million times.. Usually I forget a link and one of them has to step in anyway..... but I am just saying the load is much lighter when it is shared by many......

I hope I made sense...... and again in no way do I think the post yesterday was anything but helpful...

[Adina P]

I like the idea of a few people who volunteer to help in these situations.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

me too! but ... not it!

 

:)

[Elizabeth & Cosmo]

Jennifer, I like your "greeter" idea, and I would be glad to be one--but I would need to have the info from everyone else to draw on!

Cosmo came from a breeder, as well, and I am not a foster mom because of my allergies--so I don't have first-hand experience.