Continuation of Sherri's Rehome Discussion!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have been up since 5:30 am thinking about Sherri’s discussion about all of the recent rehoming discussions.   She is right in that we have to come up with some way to deal with these discussions.  As worried as I am about the dogs in question, I am equally as worried about the way these discussions divide our DK community.  We have had discussions on being nice that didn’t end up so nicely and plenty of arguments as to how a discussion was handled and how it could have been handled better.  Sometimes I agree.  Sometimes I don’t, but yesterday hit a nerve because I felt like I was nice.  I said please and thank you and still we were not nice enough.  Even some of the comments about what we should have done, we did do, and still the poster got upset and closed the discussion and everyone is in agreement that the real loser is going to be that dog.  The bottom line is however I think we handled it or didn't handle it, we didn't get through to that poster and so I do agree, we need a better way.

 

I am not here to re-hash that discussion, because honestly I am mad about it and in the long run, no one should care about that as much as we do about helping the next dog that appears in the next rehome discussion, and we all know there will be another dog soon.  There is absolutely no way to control a discussion like the one yesterday or the others before that because unless we send out a script to all of our members telling them to please not respond emotionally or negatively to anyone trying to rehome their dog for any old reason, someone is going to respond passionately and get someone else mad.  At first, the thing that upset me yesterday is that people who had not read the comments or offered any assistance to the poster were critical of those of us who did, but since those people are some of the ones I respect the most here on DK, I also know they care as much about these dogs as I do and even if we don't agree, they have a right to their opinion.   Trust me, when I say that is a hard one for me :) I also know there is a wide range of people on DK with varying opinions and sometimes we have to put aside our personal feelings to get something done for a dog that needs our help.  I also know that behind every comment is the need to help a dog.

 

It seemed to me that the majority of the responders to Sherri’s post felt like we hardly ever talk anyone out of rehoming their dogs once they post and we should just respond with the facts and keep emotions out of responses.  With that said, I think the discussions are right to be on the front page, but I think we need a link or something to refer the person to the DRC or IDog and after that, I hope the discussion gets closed so no further comments can be made. 

P.S. Please note: if you disagree with me I will close the discussion :)

[Adina P]

I guess we can always ask the people.  "We'd love to help you figure out a way to keep your dog, if you are interested.  If you are, please ask as we, collectively, have faced all sorts of dog issues and training issues and there's likely someone who has a great solution or option to suggest."  Then we've presented them with the opportunity to help them keep the dog if there is some part of them that would prefer that route.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Yesterday, I felt, for the most part, we did try and offer solutions, but I guess we should have started with, "are you interested in keeping him if we can help you?" and went from there. I assumed she was interested in keeping him, but then later felt we were wrong and by that time, the discussion was closed and no links could be posted. Live and learn. Hopefully, what Sherri writes can include something about alternatives to rehoming.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

it definitely will Laurie!

[Elizabeth & Cosmo]

Adina, I like that idea very much. That way, they can choose the information that best suits their situation.

I  know we have had some disheartening experiences recently, but I also remember the two puppy owners who had hit rough patches and, when Jane (Rooney & Stuart) called for help, many of us rode to the rescue with puppy advice. And I believe both of those puppies are still at their original homes and doing well!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I actually agree very strongly with this point - this might help dissuide people from getting a dog if they are not ready, which is a good thing.  Excellent point.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

You mean my comment about not seeming to condone rehoming?

[Christine & Camus]

I've decided not to respond to any further rehoming posts, as I find them upsetting for many reasons, but most importantly I find them divisive.  I agree that the front page is the best place for the posts, and with a link to referral information.  Hopefully a post on DK regarding the need or want to rehome will help find a good home for the dog who IS in need and DK is a much safer option then places such as craigslist.  This is a community with many "exceptionally well informed" members that, I am sure, can respond to the posts or PM the posters with helpful advice.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'm not responding to them any more either. It hurts my heart. I wish it didn't, but it just does.

[Christine & Camus]

I think I know exactly how you felt.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Keep them on the front page. Reach the masses.
Someone just sent me a message saying they were going to keep their mouth shut.
We need to remain professional, lead those who need help to get HELP. no name calling, etc
But to keep your mouth shut I can only think of this famous statement; Well behaved women have never made history OR have made a difference!
Keep posting. Think of the welfare of the dogs, attract flies with honey.

[Adina P]

Sometimes sayings sound good but aren't true.  Plenty of 'well-behaved' women have made a difference.  You don't have to be loud, mean, rude, illegal, or irreverent to make a positive difference in the world.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

The well- behaved was referring to keeping the mouth shut, not ingnoring the post because someone may get offended. Certainly, that is not in the dog's best interest. Ignoring the issue, when you know how to help may be an example

I did say, do it in a professional manner :)