Dear Woofie

[Donna K & Quincy]

 

Dear Abby is an advice column that some of you may be familiar with, the advice given is usually witty and to the point and sometimes with a dollop of sarcasm. I thought it might be fun to have a doodle version so I am borrowing this idea and applying it to doodles. Doods do you have an embarassing questions that you'd like answered? We'll keep your identity a secret, no one will ever know it was you.

So post your letters to Dear Abby or in this case Dear Woofie
 
She may look scary but she doesn't bite.

Disclaimer
If you have a serious question, this is not the place to ask, as this post is intended for fun only.
I know that we have some very witty DKers and we are never shy with advice so let's have a little fun and maybe help out a few doodles along the way.

Anyone can post a question either real or imagined and I'm counting on all of you for your answers. If it just so happens you have a photo ( of another doodle of course) to go with your question, even better. Of course, there will be no real names used to protect the innocent.

 

Dear Woofie,
I get teased by the other doods because they say I pee like a girl just because I don't lift my leg. What can I tell them to get them to stop teasing me? 
                                                                  Wondering Wizzer         
Dear Wondering Wizzer,
It's time to stand up and take it like a man, or in this case pee like a man, it's time to give yourself a leg up so when it comes to teasing you the other doods won't have a leg to stand on.

                                                                                     

Please post your question in bold and address it to Dear Woofie

[Donna K & Quincy]

Dear Ned, Your mom should be impressed with your athletic prowess, you are amazing for such a little dood. If you really want to curb this addiction, there is a three step program. Whenever you feel the pull of those paper products take three steps back and lay down until the urge passes, that's what I do whenever I feel like working. 

Ned, humans have no appreciation for the finer smells in life, they are so uncultured. Does your house smell like dead fish from the fertilizer on the plants, if so that must be heavenly?

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Thank you, Quincy and Donna.  I will try very hard but it is just so tempting......

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Wondering Wizzer, here's how you're supposed to do it.  I can even multi task.  Here I am digging out a chipmunk and still peeing with a "leg up".  Even my little brother can lift that little "chicken leg" with the best of them.  We like to a play a game called "the last pee"..also know as a pi@#ing contest.  Our Mom always spoils our fun though and makes us stop.  Your friend, Murphy.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Murphy, I think your mom is just jealous because she can't play that game with you. :>)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Talented indeed.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Murphy, That is multi-tasking at it's best.

Dear Wizzer,

My big brother has a habit of sticking his head under the leg I lift when we are at the park. (We never lift our legs at home but when we are at the park we always do...to demonstrate our manliness and avoid the teasing about peeing like girls.) My mom is sure my brother is going to get pee on his head, but he never seems to. I'm not sure why not. Anyway, How do I get him to stop this since it nearly knocks me over every time.

Grateful for suggestions, Three-legged racer 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Hi three-legged racer!  I wouldn't worry about it.  I end up peeing on my little brother a lot and it actually DOES get on him sometimes.  Mom doesn't like that...hey it's the little Dood's own fault.  I feel bad about you getting knocked down...maybe if you actually do pee on him he'll quit that.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Dear Woofie,

Every time my mom tries to take a picture of me, I have a very embarrassing problem that seems to spring to life. What can I do to prevent this from happening?

Woody Wonka

P.S. My mom says she has tons of pictures, if you really want to see.

[Donna K & Quincy]

Dear Woody, I understand we always want our good side to be photographed, unfortunately yours is your underside and the female of the human species has no appreciation for such displays. Try thinking about something complicated and since there is only enough blood in the male body to operate one organ at a time this should solve your problem. The next time your mom gets the camera out, quit dicking around and let her get a nice picture, she may be a dictator but she loves you like the dickens.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

ROFL!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Dear Woody, I highly recommend putting on a strong rubber band before the problem starts. But be sure to tell mom to, as Joanne 's mom says, put a wiggle on it. We don't want any vital parts falling off from lack of oxygen.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Vern says this sounds like it could hurt :)