Banjo and The New Baby

[Carol and Banjo]

....Over The River and Through The Woods...To Grandmother's House We Go......    My daughter and SIL came for Sunday dinner with the new baby yesterday.    I was so excited to have them visit Grammy for the first time since his birth on the 23rd.   I was also excited to have Banjo meet his new future best bud.

Unfortunately things didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped.   My daughter didn't want Banjo close to the baby and definitely didn't want him to lick the baby.   He got a couple of "sniffs" in but clearly wanted to "explore".    I understand my daughter's reluctance to have a dog licking her infant.   I would have been the same way.    My instinct tells me that if she would have let me bring the baby to Banjo's level and let him sniff and lick, just as he does when people come to the house, he would have lost interest and "moved on".    As it turned out we ended up leashing him and he spent the whole visit clearly wanting to explore the new addition.    He isn't a "barker", but he did bark several times out of frustration. I could almost hear him saying "Just let me near him....I just want to get to know him"!    Mommy and Daddy kept remarking at how "loud" he was....baby was blissfully oblivious.   

So, I'm feeling disappointed that we didn't have a smoother intro and wondering what I could/should have done to facilitate a better first meeting.

I plan to talk to my daughter about allowing Banjo (totally supervised) to sniff and lick and get it out of his system on the next visit.  I'll be equipped with wash cloths to "clean up" the doggie licks.  Do you think it's wrong to allow this?    

I'm interested to hear what others have done in this situation.  

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

SIt seems I've read some articles lately  that talk about babies that are around dogies are healthier!  If you could find some of those ...

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Carol, I am so sorry things did not go as smoothly as planned. I remember having our first daughter and how protective I was and really, pretty silly, too. I had a SIL who wouldn't let anyone hold her baby. New mothers are navigating the waters for the first time and I think a wonderful grandma should be able to drop a couple of hints :)  My poor DD...I can't keep my mouth shut about anything.  I think over time your daughter will relax more and talking to her seems like a great idea. I think you are right. Banjo just wants to see what all the fuss is about and then will move on to something else. A lick or two won't hurt that sweet baby.  It will all work itself out over time, I believe.

[Carol and Banjo]

Laurie,  My daughter did indicate that when he's a little bigger she wouldn't mind the licking....I didn't ask how much bigger.   I'm secretly hoping she means next month.  LOL.  I was ridiculously protective with my babies too, so I really do understand where she's coming from.  Each new Mommy needs to find what works for them.    I just have to convince her to let Banjo get it "out of his system" so we can go on to have an enjoyable, relaxing, quiet visit.  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Carol, I know your daughter and you will get it all worked out. I remember those days so well when I brought Megan home and how nervous I was about every little thing. Poor Hayley. By the time she appeared all that had gone out the window :) She once asked me where her baby book was and all I could say was, "I can tell you the date of your birthday, but not much else." LOL

[Donna K & Quincy]

Carol, I'm sorry your introduction didn't go as planned, sometimes we simply have to lower our expectations but no reason not to keep trying. Mother's can be so overprotective and hopefully Banjo can get some licks in soon. :>)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I can share what we've done in our family.  We've only had one newborn since we got our Doods.  Our daughter was very much like yours, and she absolutely did not want the dogs near the baby.  Murph is kind of a separate situation since we really don't trust him, so we handle that differently even now.  Guinness loves kids....all kids and is very good with them.  But still she was not comfortable with him near the baby.  We all had to "scrub" before handling the baby.  This was her fourth son, so you would think that she'd be a little less rigid, but that wasn't the case.  I decided that I would totally go along with her on this, because to do anything different wouldn't help the relationship.  This is her baby, not mine, and she had the right to do whatever she thought was the right thing for the baby.  So while he was in the "baby carrier" stage, Guinness was not allowed near him.  We kept the carrier up on the furniture and off the floor or and if we couldn't be watching closely Guinness was gated in another room with his brother.  I really never pushed the point because I knew it would be a "losing battle", and again it wasn't my place to decide what was right for her new family.  Eventually Colin started to "toddle" around and then it was okay for him to play with Guinness along with the other five grandkids.  They've helped me to teach Guinness that he's not allowed to jump on them, and they play really well together now.  We still have our rule that they don't eat ANYTHING after playing with the dogs without washing their hands.  They call them "dog hands"....very cute.  So it has all worked itself out just fine.  Guinness never really "felt bad" during the infant stage, although I'm sure there were times he'd rather have been free, but it really was no big deal.  I have no idea if this even helps, but it worked out well for us.  Good luck and just enjoy that beautiful baby.

[Carol and Banjo]

I guess I will just have to be patient. I think I'm going to have to start working on a firm down stay as well. We've never felt the need to use this.....but I wished I had yesterday. Time to get to work!

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I really think that will help.  We use down/stays when the kids are at the table eating....otherwise I know the kids would be sneaking everything they didn't want to Guinness.....who would happily accept.  Also, I'd try to be really careful not to convey any stress when Banjo's around the baby (our DDs can bring that stress in with them) so that Banjo doesn't get the idea that this baby = Mom being anxious.  Easier said than done, I know.  That's why when I was busy and couldn't calmly manage the situation I gated Guinness in another room with an antler.

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

In this case, then, my granddaughter will have the strongest immune system ever.  Kayla was licked and loved by her two dogs from the day she came home from the hospital.  Same thing with Sedona when Kayla was here.  And no such thing as "dog hands" (although there probably should be) - when Kayla was at the stage of first eating with her hands, when they'd get a bit too messy, she'd hold them out for a doggy hand wash, then keep right on eating!!

Carol, I predict the new mommy will relax soon and the next few visits will go much more smoothly!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

It's not even just a school of thought, it's fact:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/09/health-benefits-pets-respi...

From the article:

New research in the journal Pediatrics shows that children who live in a home with a pet during their first year of life are also more likely to be healthier, compared with kids who don't live in a pet-owning household.

"It's more support in a growing body of evidence that exposure to pets early in life can stimulate the immune system to do a better job of fighting off infection," Dr. Danielle Fisher, of St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica, Calif., told the Los Angeles Times.

Specifically, kids who had a dog during their first year of life had 31 percent fewer respiratory tract infections than kids who didn't live with a dog, researchers found.

Kids from dog-owning homes also had fewer ear infections -- 44 percent fewer than kids from non dog-owning homes -- and needed fewer antibiotics, researchers found.

Carol, maybe the above info would help sway your DD?

 

[Becka]

That's a lovely story, Sandy, and a lovely image.

[Carol and Banjo]

I love this Sandy.....so very special.