Bringing in dog #2, does it change dog #1?

[Km]

We have a 6month old golden doodle.  He is EXTREMELY low key and probably the best puppy we could have hoped for, seriously (nothing chewed up, nothing peed on, no barking, etc)!!  

My mom has a 5month old golden doodle and our life has recently been rocked when she had a stroke the day after Christmas.  She is not going to be able to care for her dood.  We, of course, want to take him as part of our family.  My mother will most likely be living with us shortly.  Up until now, her dood has regular play dates with our dood, being that they are only a month a part.  When our doods are together, they destroy the house, wrestle for hours at at time etc.  THey see each other 1x/week.  When they are together, our dood becomes completely oblivious to all his training, as in contrast to when he is just with us alone.  

We LOVE my mom's dood, but we have some reservations in deciding to keep him as a brother to our dood or trying to find him a forever home.  My mother will be living with us, so we are extremely motivated for many reasons to keep her dood ( she adores him and it will be easier for her than just to start ripping away the most important things in her life).  Our reservations are that my husband feels it will change OUR dood.  He is the most laid back, calm dood who is afraid to do stairs (thus doesn't go down the stairs to get into the boys play room etc).  he does not chew on all the legos/superheroes that my 3 and 7 year old leave laying around everywhere.  We are so lucky that we don't have the typical "puppy" stuff that we initially expected.  My mom's dood is a totally diff personality, he is sweet as anything but he has chewed woodwork, has learned to bark for everything he wants (my mom has been ailing up to the stroke and hasn't been able to properly work with him).  He is NOT a 'high maintainance" or behavioral problem dog... he's just a typical puppy from what I can see.  But when he's here with our dood, our dood ignores us and becomes absorbed in competing with her dood.  Her dood jumps up on tables and steals foods etc... our dood has not even considered this but see him do it and light bulbs go on.  So, essentially what i am asking is by bringing in my mom's dood to our home... will this change the personality of our dood?  

I am trying to be very logical about this all b/c I will have two small children to care for, my mother who will have significant health needs and as my husband stated "the idea of creating chaos" from the pets in our home makes our head spin.  I think we are willing to do it if like in 6months-12months of training etc we can get some of the bad habits under control with her dood..... as long as it doesn't change the personality of our laid back dood.  

I am looking for perspectives, thoughts, feedback and things to consider..... thanks so much.  

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I am sorry to hear about your mom, and I hope she recovers easily.

My biggest concern would be with your mom's puppy ingesting "the legos/superheroes that my 3 and 7 year old leave laying around everywhere" or getting hold of food that can harm him. You are indeed "lucky that we don't have the typical "puppy" stuff", but if your mom's pup comes to live with you, you will have it, so you have to ask yourself if you can honestly cope with that while you are caring for your mom, too, and all of the other things that you have to do now. It is going to mean being even more organized than you are now, and making sure that the kids never leave toys, food, socks, etc. around anywhere the puppy can get to them, or you could end up with a $3000 vet bill for emergency surgery and a very sick dog to care for. That's hard for many people with young kids even without everything else you have on your plate. Somebody is going to have to keep an eye on the puppies much of the time, if there is a risk of chewing woodwrok, etc. And you are going to have to put in some time training the younger pup from day one, you can't have him barking at people all day for what he wants, etc.  I don't think that your mom's puppy being there will change your dog's personality, in fact your pup might even be a good influence, but these other issues would be a concern for me.

[Lynda Kamrath]

It probably will change your dog because when two of them get together, the dogs are more important to each other than their humans.  You need to set down the rules with them right away.  I always have two dogs and as soon as they start to wrestle and chase in the house, outside they go.  When they calm down, they can come back in.  They eat in different areas and never bother each other's food.  What about sleeping?  That can be a big adjustment for dogs also.  It can work, but you will have to do a little work with the dogs.  Think about it, but it would be very nice for your mother to have her dog included in your household.

[Km]

Thank you all for such thorough and well thought out feedback.  Luckily I have a bit to think about this. We are a bit overwhelmed with the rapid and drastic change here.  I will be re-reading these several times before ultimately deciding.  I really hope to be able to keep her pup, for her sake.  I need to assess whether I can do it the justice HE deserves.  I think I need a bit of time before making such a big decision.  Thanks to everyone, I was so pleased with hearing everyone's viewpoint!  Kim