Vern and his Vegetables!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

As some of you may remember, although discussions now roll off the front page faster than lightning, Vern was told he was overweight on his last visit to the vet. Vern and Tara (of Ricki and Tara) are now semi-involved in a Biggest Loser contest and it became clear to me this week that Vern does not stand a chance of winning. 

First of all, Ricki is continually cutting Tara’s hair, forcing her to go potty before the weigh ins, removing her collar, trimming her nails, and anything else she can think of to cheat that scale. 

Have any of you seen Vern recently?  He rolls every single day and has half of our yard in his hair.  Seriously, pulling everything out of his hair before a weigh in would be my new full time job.  How am I expected to get my photography assignments done, cook my gourmet meals, write blogs, throw the ball for Fudge, and have deep and abiding conversations with my husband, if I am spending all day picking yard debris off of Vern? Even if I cut out the gourmet meals, I would still not have enough time in my day. 

Ricki also has an advantage because she can weigh Tara at home.  I have no idea how to weigh Vern at our house. He doesn’t fit on the scale and if I tried to pick him up and put both of us on our household scale, the scale would either break or say, “You are killing me! Get off of me right now!” It just can’t be done at home and I don’t have time to run him up to the vet’s and frankly, Vern hates the vet’s and the grocery stores and butcher shops have regulations about bringing dogs into their facilities. Not gonna happen! 

Plus, I have my own weighing tricks and I prefer to do it naked in a room without witnesses and if I try and weigh a naked me and hoist Vern onto the scale at the same time, the only benefit I can see is that I wouldn’t have to worry about emptying my bladder first, because I am sure it would be emptying while I stood on that scale holding Vern. I love Vern, too, and if he is afraid of a dressed man in a lawn chair, God only knows what he would do if he saw me unclothed.  I even try and warn John so he doesn’t scream out in fright.

Now, we have an even bigger problem than whose husband screams when they see me naked. It seems that Vern is not a big fan of most vegetables. I tried the baby carrots as treats that someone suggested and I would like to take a moment to curse thank that person.  The baby carrots seemed to scare Vern.  I gave each of the dogs one baby carrot and Fudge took hers into the foyer and after the initial confusion about what it was, seemed to like the new treat.  Meanwhile, Vern ran into the living room with his carrot and promptly jumped up on his Coolaroo bed and dropped it on the bed.

He then would put it back in his mouth, gnaw on it for a second, drop it, and start digging on his bed. The only thing he did with that carrot was manage to get bits and pieces of it all over the living room floor and his bed. I don’t think he swallowed any of it, but rather took a taste and spit it out.  ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM!! 

It seems the dog that eats Kleenex, goose poop, mud, sticks, and anything else gross, has a very discerning palate when it comes to vegetables.

 

Green beans did not go over much better.  I put a bowl down for each dog and Vern stuck his nose in his bowl and quickly ran to Fudge’s to see if she had anything better.  Then he faced an even bigger dilemma…which bowl should I pick up the green beans from and then drop them uneaten on the kitchen floor? Eventually, he decided the answer was neither and avoided the bowls all together, although my skinny dog, Fudge, loved the green beans. I tried the frozen green beans, canned green beans, and even tried mashing them thinking it was the texture that bugged him.  I thought about using the Captain Crunch toppers someone recently mentioned their dog loved, but that seemed to me to be defeating the purpose of the green beans.  Oh, and before anyone suggests fruits, he did the same thing with strawberries, bananas, and blueberries.

Now what do I do?? Does anyone know if Kleenex has any calories and if that would be an acceptable, low calorie topper for Vern’s food?  What about mud and how much can I give before it is considered an episode of My Strange Addiction?  What about corncobs?  Vern likes to chew on the ones squirrels leave in our yard.  How about that as a topper??

 

Please help me or Tara is going to end up being a Loser…..oops, I meant to say Biggest Loser.

DISCLAIMER: Please only use approved toppers for your dogs found in the DK Food Group!! I know nothing and can provide references to prove it :) Do not use ACV, corncobs, mud, or Kleenex!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LOL....well, the marathon runner will not be me and I don't know if I would wish that on sweet Vern :) Vern says thanks to Darwin about the carrots!

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Sorry, no advice here. Auggie eats everything and Monty at least likes the canned green beans. He is getting a short haircut next Wednesday, so I'll be able to see how big he really is.... What's funny, when Monty was little, he did not like any meaty treats. The only treat he would eat was a baby carrot. Now he does exactly the same thing as Vern with baby carrots and awaits something more tasty. Fortunately we have a vacuum cleaner named Auggie that cleans the carrot mess. Have you tried cooked carrots? Hm, I'm out of ideas here since I totally understand Vern (and Monty).... I can't be on a diet either since I like my treats as well.

Oh, I just saw that cooked carrots were already mentioned. The chicken broth is an interesting idea. I bet that would work for Monty as well.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Jarka. I need a cute vacuum cleaner like Auggie at my house :)

[Hazel & Chester Wayte]

Great Blog - as usual. Sounds like picky Chester.

He usually picks the fruit and veggies out of the dish and spits them out. Once he took a blueberry from his dish and spit it in DHs face. I guess he was trying to tell us something.

He will eat Cooked Broccoli and (sometimes cooked carrots or cauliflower).

I love Vern and fudge. He doesn't look like he needs to loose any weight!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you, Hazel!! I can't believe how many of these Doodles like broccoli. I never even thought of that for dogs. LOL on spitting the blueberry :)

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

This was a hysterical blog!  Too funny.  When Webber had to go on a diet, I put him on Orijen Senior food, as you would guess, it has less calories but he still gets bulk.  Fortunately, he loves green beans so treats aren't a problem. Webber likes blueberries and apples.  Seda eats it too so their weigh has been stable since I started feeding it to them.  She doesn't like blueberries and both of them destroy the carrots but don't eat them.  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Linda, Thank you!  I have tried apples with Vern and he treats them like he does the green beans :) You are lucky their weight has stabilized. I know we will get there with Vern. I have gotten tons of good tips and no way is that little Tara going to beat us :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

They are all individuals one of mine loves apples, guess who, the other does not. That one will try anything but she doesn't always like it. The other sniffs carefully at some new thing and often walks away.

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

Oh Vern!  Please eat your veggies for your momma!  

Laurie, i saw the comment about the treadmill and thought PUPPY PUSHUPS!!!!  you get a treat and make them do "sit" and "down", "sit" and "down" over and over again!  :D Zoe is excellent at it and bounces back and forth but Bender is slow and won't do it after a couple times.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanna, Vern doesn't even chase a ball. LOL We have been doing a sit/stay and then one of us calls him to us from across the field...back and forth....until he is very tired. He is really fast and I think it helps tire him out, too.

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

Oh that's even better! Great luck Vern!!! Burn those calories!!!

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

My DH would give me all kinds of grief! "What? You're cooking for the dang dogs but you won't cook for me?" It might be good to leave well enough alone, lol!