In search for the perfect fit.

[Michelle Ashby]

Our family is in search of the perfect fit dog for our family. I would appreciate any input. We just recently had to put down our 9 year old Cairn terrier- male. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer and was starting to have pain. We have a 6 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. Our issues are that my husband and I have allergies. My son has sensory processing disorder. The sensory processing disorder makes him process sensory information differently than most. He is very heavy handed, Loud and doesn't always recognize social cues. I am thinking that an F1b or or possibly F2b is the answer. I personally am really attracted to the chocolates with their light noses. The problem I am having is that most of those that have these puppies have you select them at like 3 weeks. Of course you can't really see what the temperament will be until 7 weeks so I won't know if we have a good selection for our son. An adult that is a couple of years old would be perfect but the reality is that NOBODY wants to part with such a precious dog like that.  Tell me what you think. Where can I find the best fit?

[Adina P]

Good breeders wait on puppy selection so they can match you with a pup with the proper temperament. You probably have not run across the right breeders yet. Do you think a pup would be a good idea given how mouthy, nippy, fast and crazy puppies can be?  I don't know your son or how you help him manage his behaviors, but do you think he would do well with a puppy? 

Also how severe are your allergies?  Have you met SEVERAL doodles to see if you react to any?  You might react to none and then suddenly one will cause a reaction?  Are you willing to live with lots of allergy meds if you find your puppy makes you react?

[Michelle Ashby]

We do know 3 different owners of golden doodles and so far no allergic responses. I guess there is always a chance to have a reaction. We currently have a Cairn terrier and do okay with her. Allergy meds are already a part of our life because of seasonal stuff too.

I agree that an adult dog might be a better fit for our son but can't seem to find an adult. I have even considered getting a retired breeding dog but have concern about the lifespan of the dog.  I will send you a private message too.

Michelle

[Jay, Lola and Colonel Esau]

The breeder that Lola came from had us pick out puppies at 6 weeks, in the order in which we had put down deposits.  Their doganalities were very much apparent at that time. 

PS: If you want a dog that is laid back, don't pick the one that seems to want you.  At least in my experience, the one that puts on a show like it wants to come with you is more likely to be high energy, dominant, hard, etc.  (I have come to prefer a harder dog - but it's definitely not for everyone).  Don't get a scared or submissive one, but try for one that is more in the middle of the pack.  That one might not stick out so much at all when you first meet.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I'm so sorry about the loss of your 9 year old terrier.  I'm curious about why you aren't looking for another Cairn Terrier.  Since they're non-shedding and you didn't have any allergy issues with them it would seem like the safest option.... I'm sure you know that F1 or even F2bs can shed.  I have an Australian Labradoodle who doesn't shed but ended up in rescue because his original owner was highly allergic to him.  I really think it's going to be critical that you find a really great breeder who can work with you on temperament....and who actually BREEDS for temperament.  I have two Doodles...one is great with children and the other is not.  I really think it's difficult to tell at seven our eight weeks, but good breeders will have a strong idea.  I wish you luck...I have a son with special needs as well and even though he's an adult now I always have to be on guard with him and my "nervous Doodle".

[Michelle Ashby]

We are not looking at another Cairn. The Cairn's is just too small. My son wants to lay on her and love on her and she just can't tolerate it.  I am not saying by any means that he would be left with the animals unsupervised . Secondly Cairn's personalities are just not laid back enough.  If you know of ANY really good breeders that you would recommend certainly send me a private message or otherwise if you know of any breeders I should avoid.

Michelle

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I've always had larger dogs. I will say NONE wanted to be laid on or hugged! Before DK I just thought all of my dogs had severe clastrophobia. The dog who went from primary school to college with my sons weighed 149 lbs.

On my phone ( computer is sick) can anyone link the information about how dogs find hugging to be an aggressive act on the part if the human? How dogs find this so offensive? It's great information to post again and good for ALL members to understand

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

There are a million articles on this, but here's a very good one with explanations, references and links to Sophia Yin and Patricia McConnell. 

http://doggonesafe.blogspot.com/2010/12/dogs-dont-like-hugs-and-kis...

The vast majority of dogs do not want to be hugged, especially around the head and neck area, lied upon, or used as a pillow. Some will tolerate this from a person with whom they have had a chance to develop a bond, but I wouldn't encourage it with a child. Any child can understand that they wouldn't want someone to lie on them or hug them tight, either. 

As a side note, the most tolerant breed in the world for this kind of thing, and for children in general, is a Newfoundland, but the allergy issues would prevent that. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

And here's the Sophia Yin article with illustrations: http://drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/kids-and-dogs-how-kids-should-and...

The poster: http://info.drsophiayin.com/Portals/13722/docs/SY%20How%20not%20to%...

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Thank you, Karen!  

And Jay, I was just thinking of you with this issue too. Hope the articles that Karen linked help you also

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

That POSTER should also be included in the drop down menu  :) 

I truly am hoping we do have a link of standard information around here that we can refer to constantly for new members and standard questions.  That was my survey suggestion. 

[Jay, Lola and Colonel Esau]

Speaking of hugging ... update on Lola's opinion about being used as a pillow.  She does like it if her belly is facing downwards, towards my feet.  But she like is if she is pointed the other way (belly towards the top of my head.  (I am laying on my back).  Not that I do this very often - I have plenty of actual pillows.  Sometimes she will sneak into that position, though.

For what it's worth, I met a bernedoodle the other day, and he really is a great dog.  They are all early generations, so obviously it's hit or miss.  Also I frankly do not know what the health issues of the two breeds are and whether it is a good idea from that perspective.  Still this one really did seem to have the best qualities of each.  He had the size and gentleness of a Bernese but bounced around and played like a Doodle.  The owner said he does not shed much.

[Star and Goldie]

I hope you find the right fit for your family. Just be cautious about the many myths about doodles including that they are non shedding and allergy friendly. Many doodles end up being rehomed because of causing allergic reactions. 

I have a mini F1B and she is fantastic with kids. However, I would not recommend a mini puppy in your situation. Goldie was only 3 pounds when we brought her home and while my 3 year old did excellent with her, I'm learning that she may be the exception to the rule. 

You may look further into an adult dog and I wouldn't rule out the option of a retired breeding dog. Many are retired at young ages. My breeder retires them at around age 4 or 5, I think. That is still plenty of life to live :)