Feeling discouraged

[Lauren and Kona]

Hey guys, I recently posted about something similar to this so forgive me for repeating some things.

I brought Kona home on Saturday and when I went to pick her up, I had seven puppies to choose from. Kona appeared to be one of the calmer ones - and I held her for a good little while and she seemed to be a good fit.

I researched for months before bringing Kona home and was well prepared for all that would come along with a new puppy.

Kona is just so crazy. She doesn't stop for one second, it is constant running, biting, chewing, jumping, barking, you get the idea. When I try to approach her, she bites me everywhere she can get ahold of - my toes, my legs, the sleeves of my sweatshirt, my bracelet, my hair, etc. She doesn't even stop for a nap unless I put her in her crate (and that is a challenge).

I know that around this age is when puppies form their initial bond with their owners, and Kona seems to have no interest in me. It is really breaking my heart. I know she is still very young and has a lot of maturing to do, but at this moment, I'm just discouraged. Don't get me wrong, I love her and plan on doing everything possible to train her and give her the best life possible.

I will be starting her in obedience classes as soon as she's had all of her shots. I hope that helps a bit. Outside of how rambunctious she is, I'm concerned that she just doesn't like me/want to be near me.

I'm just not sure what to do right now, to help both Kona and myself get through this rough patch.

[Lauren and Kona]

Thank you so much, Tracey! Spike is absolutely adorable - love that little face! I tried cuddling with Kona a little while ago as she slept (after reading your advice) and she didn't try to bite my face, so that's a plus, lol! This is something I'm definitely going to attempt more often. I also like the idea of freezing the nylon ropes. Thanks again, you all are so helpful and encouraging. Good luck with Spike!

[Tracey & Spike]

See it works! It's pretty funny when they wake up and see you there. Priceless moments. Spike has now taken to snuggling in bed with me on the weekends. I get up early. Take him outside and then we go back to bed for a nap. He's caught on that if he chills he gets to stay and if not he goes back to the crate. He's more comfortable now because of my floor naps.
Any puppy toy you can freeze. Freeze! It's sooooooo helpful!

Face biting. We've all been there. And still get there. Oh puppies!

[christina m]

I can completely relate! It will get better, trust us. Like wendy said, limit her space. Our trainer told us to always have him on a leash at the house...attach it to the legs of your couch and that will limit the amount of trouble Kona will get into. I know it sounds a little harsh but I think it has really helped.

As for the nipping, I felt like frozen stuff satisfied nicky. We gave several toys but it felt like he had no interest and only wanted to chew on us! My sister in law told us to soak a sock in water, roll it and freeze it. It actually helped and took the attention off us .

I know that you feel rejected but the affection will come and you will get lots of kisses soon!

Hang in there!

[Lauren and Kona]

Thank you, Christina!! I appreciate it. Just have to give it some time. In a few months I'll look back and see that it was all worth it :)

[Jennifer & Truffle]

We first brought Truffle home a few months ago.  He is our first family dog (I had dogs growing up, but never really took care of them). Like you, I did a lot of research and preparation before his arrival. Although I have two daughters and a husband, I knew that Truffle was going to be about 90% my dog and about 10% theirs (with the 10% representing all the fun and none of the work).  When I reflect back on the first 6 weeks after we brought him home, I still can't believe I didn't go completely insane (there were moments when my family thought I did go insane).  Nobody understood the constant vigilance required to ensure Truffle stayed safe, didn't get into trouble and started to learn basic commands.  They didn't understand why I was so exhausted, either. Frankly, I tell anyone who's willing to listen that taking care of an infant is a hell of a lot easier than taking care of a puppy.  

Truffle bit, chewed, jumped, whined, and ran me ragged during those first weeks.  I have holes in almost every piece of clothing I've worn since we got him, including jeans, socks, sweaters, jackets and shirts. But I'm just as stubborn he is.  I've lost my patience more times than I care to admit. And I even cried a few times. And I told my family that they needed to be a part of Truffle's life - and not just for the fun bits. And I enlisted my youngest daughter to help with the training (she's now  my official co-trainer).  

After those first couple of months, things started to greatly improve. We love our Truffle, flaws and all. Don't get me wrong, he's still a ton of work and there are still plenty of behavioral and training issues we're dealing with.  But it's easier now. And we celebrate each small step of progress.

If you can afford it, you might want to look into having a trainer come to your house for private lessons.  I found that having someone observe Truffle and us in action on our home turf was hugely beneficial. I always felt very motivated after each training session. I also learned that the cliche - a tired puppy is a good puppy - is 100% true.  To the extent you can, exercise her as much as possible these first few weeks - mental exercise counts, too.

I've been blogging about my experience with Truffle on this site - feel free to visit my blog entries - I'm sure you'll recognize a lot of Kona's behavior in Truffle's stories!

Good luck to you - it will get better!

[Lauren and Kona]

Thank you so much, Jennifer! This makes me feel a lot better, but I'm sorry you had to go through so much with Truffle. You are a wonderful doodle mom!

It's basically just me taking care of Kona, so it certainly gets difficult, and extremely exhausting. I'm a bit nervous considering it's only been five days! However, I know it will all be worth it in the long run. I love her regardless of how crazy she might make me. I look forward to the day we truly form a bond with each other.

I think a trainer coming to us is a fantastic idea and would probably work very well for Kona. It would be helpful for the trainer to actually see Kona in action.

I'm going to go take a look at your blog entries now. Thank you so much again, I really appreciate your help. Good luck with Truffle! Love the name, btw!

[Jennifer & Truffle]

I'm sure everything will work out - persistence will pay off and the advice everyone has given you is terrific.  You can take comfort in knowing that so many people on this forum have been through it all before.  Actually, once I found doodlekisses.com and saw all the dog owners who had experienced issues similar to ours, it was hugely reassuring!  Good luck and I look forward to hearing about your progress with Kona.

[kelly orlando]

Lauren, good luck… I know it has to be hard feeling like you waited so long for this adorable puppy to cuddle with, and now she's not interested in cuddling-- and moreover, she may even come off as a little "mean."  We had this problem with our older dog (who is now 10 years old and just fine--but it was really rough and made me sad back then).  I wanted to also recommend someone coming to your home if you can afford it.  Even for just a few lessons.  We just got a new family dog (our first goldendoodle), and I have 3 young kids so it was important to me that we really "do this right."  The trainer can come to you before you can get Kona out because its not a requirement to have all the shots.  We had our first lesson the first week Lilly arrived at home.  We had 3 more-- one each week after.  Now, Lilly is not crazy.  She is actually maybe a little lazy, which is fine with us at this point because we don't have all the biting issues.  BUT, I've been through it and its not fun.  So, get some support with a trainer who can give you some tricks (and will likely make you feel better about how YOU are feeling too).  And, no mater what, remember that it is just not your fault-- you got a high-energy puppy and it is likely just going to take some extra work… and 2 or 3 months from now you probably will look back on this time like it was just a drop in the bucket!  Hang in there… Kona is adorable.  Probably only when she's sleeping, right?!?! :)

[Debbie & Gibbs]

Kona is so cute. She sounds very much like a puppy. We went through some crazy days and we still have them and Gibbs will be 6 months old the 9th. We refer to his bad behavior, which is really just puppyhood as devil dog. He can be totally willful, bitey and goes totally deaf!! When he starts with that stuff we take him outside and change the mood with chase, ball chasing and just romping around the backyard. We also have 3 other doggies that like to play with him, so we let the older dogs chase him around the yard, they are pretty good about whippin him into shape. Don't give up, just be constant in your training and you will end up with a wonderful pet. I will tell you I have a female dog that very rarely ever kisses us, it will be only briefly and that is on the hand. All of our boy dogs and big ole kissers, like all of the time kissers. Good luck!

[Lauren and Kona]

Thank you, Debbie! She is adorable - makes it hard to resist her! :) Things may be tough right now but I know that with each day there will be improvements (and setbacks I'm sure). I look forward to getting to know her personality and forming a bond with her. Thanks again, and best of luck with Gibbs! He's so cute!

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Aww, Lauren. We've all been in your shoes (and we are lucky we are out of those shoes as well!)

I totally feel your pain. Don't give up. Do what you can to bring some order and sanity to your days. The puppy will get used to the schedule if you keep it consistent (e.g. crate time means quiet time, etc.). Puppies ARE crazy. Their only advantage is that they are so cute. The good news is, they grow up fast. The training will absolutely help. You might want to check to see if anyone is offering puppy socialization classes in your area. I did those with both of my boys... the puppies get to go in before they are done with all their vaccinations and get to play with puppies of the same age. A wonderful thing for both energy and learning.

My first puppy was easy, the second one was a damien. At least that's how I felt. Here is what I posted:

http://www.doodlekisses.com/profiles/blogs/ramblings-of-a-very-tire...

We all got through this crazy stage and you will as well. Just remember, lots of attention, training, and consistency.

Hang in there, girl! Make sure you get your sleep, because not enough sleep makes everything look much worse. At least that's how it was with me!

Looking for a better update in several weeks.

[Lauren and Kona]

Hi Jarka, I just read your blog post, and wow - I relate so much. Kona is my first dog since my last dog, Jewl, passed away at Thanksgiving. Jewl was my best friend, we had a truly incredible bond with each other and I loved her more than words could ever express. I was hesitant to get another dog after losing her because I knew that I would compare the two. I can't help but think to myself, "Why doesn't she cuddle like Jewl did?" "Why doesn't she love me like Jewl did?" etc, etc. But I have to remind myself that she's just a puppy, no two dogs are the same and Kona is unique in her own way and she is just as wonderful. I think it will just take time. Really, though, your blog post helped me a lot. It gives me hope! Monty and Auggie are both absolutely beautiful. Thanks again and I will update on how things are going in a few weeks!