Depression

[Lynn Weaver]

My husband is near death, in hospice in our home. i think Chloe is picking up on my sadness, and seems depressed herself. She turned one, and used to be full of life. She won't even play at the dog park but just sits with me. Anyone have any experience with this?

[Rosella T]

Oh Lynn, I am so sorry about your husband. My heart goes out to you. I know how terribly heart breaking it is to watch someone you love so much suffer. I know how hard it is on you as a caregiver as well and I hope that you get good help.

Four years ago my dad was suffering from ALS and in hospice at my parents' house. Every Friday after work I went there with my dog, a schnoodle named Chico, and we stayed until Sunday night for the last few months of my dad's life. We were there permanently for that last two weeks of his life. Chico was very sad towards the end and especially after my dad passed away at our family home in late March of 2010. Chico had tantrums afterwards as well. 

Our animals are members of the family and they feel what we feel and they grieve in their own ways. It is only natural that Chloe is sad at this time because it is a sad time for her family. She will grieve and her period of grief will take the time that it takes.

I am keeping you in my thoughts during this tough time. I hope you have support. Sending warm thoughts to you, Lynn.

[Lynn Weaver]

Rosella, never having been through this at home with a close loved one, everything is a first. I've always had animals but they have never been exposed to these kinds of emotions. All these stories from personal experience have helped me to realize that Chloe will be alright in time, and return to her joyous, playful self. Death is a natural, but tragic, part of our lives. I'm glad you were able to spend so much time with your dad in his last days. No regrets. That's what I'm aiming at.

[Rosella T]

Chloe will be alright in time and so will you. You will both grieve at your own pace and just remember that this journey will not evolve in a straight line. Your grief will ebb and flow and that is perfectly alright. When I was going through my dad's illness, a good friend of mine who had lost her dad the year before told me that  she got tired of everyone telling her that time heals all wounds. She said that her wounded heart never healed but her heart grew around the wound and in time she was able to live with the wound rather than hope that it would totally heal one day. I feel the same way. It has been 4 years and when I think back on how raw and painful that time was I can easily feel it as though it was still happening but it's not a bad thing and it doesn't overwhelm me like it once did. It just means that my dad is still very much a presence in my life. People die but relationships don't and we are strong enough to keep going. We get the strength we need as we need it. It's supply and demand. 

As I mentioned, my heart goes out to you, Lynn. I have a lot of empathy for you situation and I wish none of us ever had to experience these things but like you said, it is a natural but tragic part of our lives. You and your husband are lucky to have each other. Love like that is the greatest gift. You will have no regrets and the love you have will help you more than you can imagine. Big hug.

[Lynn Weaver]

Rosella, thank you for your wisdom and insight. I will make a note to remember your friend's words that "her heart grew around the wound" enabling her to live with it. It brought to mind.... like a tree grows around objects or injuries and continues to stretch to the sky. Thank you for the word picture!

[Wendy and Myla]

I love this word picture you describe of the tree!  So true!

[Rosella T]

Thank YOU for the beautiful word picture. Keeping you in my thoughts. 

[Emily, Bentley, & Maserati]

I'm so sorry about your husband. You and Chloe are going through a very difficult time. She is expressing her feelings how she knows best. I hope she is a support to you and you to her during this process. *hugs*

[Gem's Jewel]

Lynn, just wanted you to know you were being thought of and lifted up today. Walks are good for your back, your soul and for beautiful Chloe...try and take one today, if only for a little bit. Many hugs -

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Keeping you all in thoughts and prayers.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Lynn, sending good thoughts and prayers for strength your way this morning.  I hope your back is feeling better.  I've seen very special therapy dogs give the kind of hug Chloe is giving you.  I think she's trying to comfort you and tell you she feels your heart.

[Lynn Weaver]

She does press right into the area of my heart. It brings me such deep peace. I know that God sent her to me for this time in my life. It was an accident that I found her for $200 on Craig's list. I don't know her history, but I think she may have been abused. She was four months old or so. She "feels" like a rescue. She was frightened and insecure. I got her days before my husband began manifesting symptoms that were diagnosed several months later. I would not have taken her had I known what was in store for us. But, thankfully I did! What a sweet, gentle, fun and loving pup she has been. She is so good with my four year old granddaughter! And so smart, that she learns anything on the first try! I've had many dogs in my life. Many different breeds, and a couple are stand-outs, but Chloe will undoubtedly be the best dog I've ever had!

[Marie and Hoka]

Lynn, I am thinking of you all. I understand the pain only a little, having lost my dad. I cannot imagine my husband. I am grateful you have your pup. We all do better when we have another soul to care for.