I think I need to get rid of Stew...UPDATE!

[Jess & Stewart]

I haven't posted on here in awhile. Long story short, Stew has been really great lately, UNTIL YESTERDAY. He's out of the crate in the mornings, I have a tall baby gate up, the dog walker puts him in after their walk and he's fine until I come home. He barely notices when I leave. He'd been so good lately that I hadn't been recording him. He'd been listening, happy, fun,.playful, snuggly, just getting to be a great dog etc. 

I have an appt with our trainer next week because he's been really stubborn with his harness and come He just sits or lays down and doesn't move at all towards me, then when he comes he tries to bite the harness and isn't very cooperative. But I didn't need the guarding or separation anxiety addressed. 

Yesterday, I get home and my dog walker's note said that he was the on the other side of the gate and opened my bedroom door and grabbed a pair of shoes but didn't chew them. Nothing else seemed out of place. This morning when I leave, Stew was on guard, wasn't his usual aloof self. Made sure the gate was latched/locked shut and put something heavy in front of my bedroom door. 

Get to work and open the app website, Stew isn't in my living room and there's someone in my apt!! I freaked out, then realized it was maintenance guys installing my dishwasher. I rewind the feed and Stew JUMPED over my 41' tall baby gate. Apparently maintenance talked to another Jess with a dog, that dog was going to be put in the bedroom. So when they saw stew got into my bedroom, they just shut the door. 

I freaked out, called my landlord and said I didn't know people would be in my apt and could they please put stew in his crate like last time. Landlord says they will. They don't, then they leave and i can't see what Stew's getting into. So I was in panic mode until my dog walker could get there at 10:30. 

Dog walker got him and took him out and I asked her to assess the damage. I'm freaking out that he chewed clothes, my moving boxes I had piled up etc. 

I really can't take all this worrying and stress. Stew's been SO great, no issues for months now he started this again. It really affects me and I had just stopped worrying and thought this was our new normal and he'd just continue being a great dog. I'm so jealous of you all with minimal issues--I feel like I put so much into Stew and wanted him so badly and he's the worst dog I've ever encountered with weird issues. I wish all my family who had dogs and mocked me for it (i have one & you don't) had issues while I had the 'good' dog. Sigh.   Of course, after all that freaking out, Stew didn't chew anything, just saw a shirt I wore yesterday on the floor when I got home. Closet door was open. He also barked when I tried on my new pair of jeans & I asked how they looked. That stinker. I got to the hardware store & got hook/eye closures. We'll see if they work.

[Jess & Stewart]

My main frustration was I thought they were out very of reach. Today, when I left, I took everything out of my closet & sat it in my bathtub behind the bathroom which closes, in the event the workers left him in my bedroom. I'd really like not to do that daily...need to find something that works for Stewdini HA.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I think that a lot of people have really tried to give you some great advice.  I personally think that you have two choices.  (1)  If you truly want to make this work you need to hire an excellent trainer.  You need to learn how to be the Alpha.  When we went through training we learned so much about dogs.  I had no idea how stupid I was.  I think that Stew is playing you.  He is also feeding off of your anxiety.  He is picking up on your energy and that is affecting him.  He needs more exercise.  Maybe doggy day care.  You need to learn how to make him love his crate again for his own safety and security.  I say that because you say he doesn't like it because he doesn't go to it anymore.  Well, who is the boss here, you or Stew.  Have the trainer show you how to make this his happy place.  He needs this for his own good.  A good example of this is just the last two weeks we have been redoing our girls room.  This is their safe place.  This is where they go (gladly, by choice) when we are going to leave them and at night.  Lucy has done this for 7 years now.  For the past two weeks they have been in our room at night while we redid the floors.  So, last night the gate is finally back up and it is time for them to start sleeping back in their own room.  Well, guess who doesn't want to sleep in her room ... yep, Lucy.  Bark Bark Bark Bark, for probably 90 mins.  Just when you would think she quit, she would bark again.  But, finally, she settled and went to sleep.  If we had given in, she would have won.  You have to be in control.  But, you need to learn how to do that.  Find an awesome trainer.  It will be money well spent.  or (2) you have contact IDOG or the DRC to rehome Stew.  The way things are right now isn't fair to Stew.  It isn't going to happen overnight, but it can happen if you want to work to make it that way.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

You know, I see an awful lot of rehome applications from people giving up their doodles, and what I see most often from people in your position is usually something like "I don't have the time or resources to give Stew what he needs. I feel he would be happier if he had a home with people who are retired or work from home, and could spend more time with him and a big yard where he could run, chase a ball, and get rid of some of his excess energy rather than being cooped up alone in an apartment all day."  I don't believe I have ever seen one where the person called the dog the "worst dog I've ever encountered", blamed him for every issue, and took no responsibility for anything at all. 

Maybe all these "good dogs" you are seeing are getting more time, attention, training, and exercise than Stew gets. Good dogs are made, not born.

I think we're lucky that dogs are so different from people. They aren't looking around at what other dogs have and wishing they'd gotten that owner instead. They aren't thinking "Wow, Rover and Bluebell get taken to a big park where they can run off-leash every single day, and Maxwell lives on a farm with acres of land to roam, and Sasha has a great big yard with a swimming pool, and there are lots of dogs here whose moms and dads are home a lot and play ball with them every day. Why couldn't I have gotten a home like that?" 

But dogs aren't like that. They're better than we are. They didn't get any say in the matter, but they love us regardless of who we are, what we do, or what we have. Stew wouldn't trade you for all the stay-at-home moms and big houses with fenced yards in the world. 

And because of that, I think you owe it to him to either commit to giving him what he needs and taking responsibility for his behavior, or letting him find someone who will. 

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

Karen has said it all.:(

[Jess & Stewart]

I meant Stew was the 'worst dog' because to me he seems to have weird issues-worst than I've ever encountered. Even my trainer said the separation anxiety/boredom/getting into things has him stumped since nothing has seemed to work. 

Today was a nightmare, but Stew was really good. He went right into his crate when I asked this morning. I gave my property manager choice words about not giving me notice about workers in my apt and that stew should stay in his crate, not be anywhere else. He told me the workers wouldn't arrive until 10 and wouldn't mess with Stew. Well, they arrived at 8:30. I leave around 9, stew in crate no problem. My dog walker txts me at 12 that the workers told her to leave stew in my bedroom and they put his water bowl in the bedroom for him. They had things piled ON TOP & INSIDE his crate & needed "the space" to install a dishwasher. Then they finished working around 2, hung out in my apt, got things out of my fridge then left. I went ballistic. Property manager is furious with the workers and had someone immediately go and put stew in his crate. The guy called me when he got to my apt, said he was laying on my bed, went in crate fine.  

I just want to say I'm not a dog elitist, don't want the perfect dog. The dogs I've encountered are "family members" but basically don't get played with or interacted with, like Stew or others on DK are & loved. They're just there in the houses, fed, walked, sometimes pet etc. In that regard, I get a lot of 'Whoa Stew has issues" since he's a puppy & lively from people. 

I also have Asperger's, I'm a SLOW processor, OVERREACT like it's an Olympic sport then process after freaking out and everything is good.  I went absolutely NUTS with panic over Stew yesterday & today. I don't want to rid of him, ABSOLUTELY love him, he's the best thing I ever did for myself but sometimes I post here in the heat of the moment and he seems like such a challenge. I also feel helpless at first,"how do i get to the hardware store, what if he swallows his leash.underwear & it's a $2,000 vet bill again, what if he chokes, how do implement the training etc etc" but once I process, I realize I'm stupid and it's all not that bad. He's just such a dang Houdini with getting into things. He really is a good dog--it's me who is the overreacting owner. 

If I didn't have to work, I'd spend 24/7 with him like I did when I was unemployed and we did so much, He's fed, walked, played with off leash, trained etc daily.  I don't at all think the environment I have Stew in isn't good for him (except for doors that don't shut!), he's not neglected or treated like a horrible dog.

I'm off work at 4:30 and can't wait to rush home to Stew. Thank God it's the weekend & we have fun plans (doggy playdates & Stew will hopefully like my sister's new pool!)

Obviously, I know we all get heated about our dogs but I don't want anyone thinking I hate him and that I'd rehome him and say he horrible.. I only wrote 2-3 sentences about just wishing he didn't has as many issues, although rather annoyed--I think we've all thought that in the heat of the moment. I'm surprised at some of the responses even from my first post- it's clear to me this probably was a weird isolated incident that evolved due to maintenance workers in my apt. 

[BG and Gavin]

Hi Jess, I am sorta counting on the fact that is was your Aspergers talking when you wrote that post. So you know what to do. Get quiet, sit down and sort out what is real and what is your anxiety talking. Get a pen and paper and write it down.  For now Stew needs a higher gate and you need a lock on your door while you work on crate training with him.  You know how and you can do it.  Tell yourself that and don't let Aspie tell you otherwise with defeatest language.  Same goes for negative messages from family/friends. Square your chin and tell them that you got this. You look Stew in the eye and tell him the same thing.  If you truly can't do the above, rehome him --- DRC can help. 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Karen and BG have spoken well here.  I would only add ... GET A NEW TRAINER.  The comment below should not happen with an experienced trainer.

Even my trainer said the separation anxiety/boredom/getting into things has him stumped since nothing has seemed to work. 

That is Dog Training 101 and an experienced trainer should be able to help you with that.  I would also insist from now on that if there are going to be workers in your home that someone from the apt office be there with them.  They have already shown they cannot be trusted.  What if they let him slip out.  I would be beyond livid with them.

 

[Jess & Stewart]

Oh boy was I livid :) I was SO upset earlier.,

[Stella]

I totally agree, you need a new trainer for sure.

[Jess & Stewart]

Oh I definitely don't let the Asperger's get to me, it's pretty mild, I do shock many when I go off on a rant. I was just stating that I overreact. Unfortunately I can't put a lock on my doors or change them. So that's where the gate came in. I'm going to raise it off the ground tonight & possibly see if I can get a floor bar lock, like you on an outside patio door. That may solve the immediate issue of him jumping over the gate.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Jess, you've gotten great advice from Karen, BG, Nancy,and Sheri and others here. I sympathize with how overwhelming it can seem at times when you are single, working, and have a dog.   But the worst dog ever ?? I know you were just really stressed but now that you've had time to think about it, did Stew really do anything wrong?  A stranger came into his home when he was alone so he jumped the gate and ran to a safe place, your bedroom.  He didn't destroy anything and if he pulled out your blouse it was probably because it had your smell on it and it made him feel safer.  He's also dealing with a change in routine since you were home for so long.  A perfect dog is, well,…a stuffed dog. If you're afraid of Stew when he's resource guarding and it means he can't have any toys when you're away and a trainer is "stumped" by his boredom/anxiety -- you need to find a new trainer who can work with both you and Stew.  Personally, I would not trust any strange workers in my home alone with my dog.  You and Stew have come a long way together, but I think BG is exactly right (and very wise).

[Jess & Stewart]

Stew jumped the gate prior to the workers being in my apartment but now that he knows he can jump it, it'll happen again so there's another solution that didn't work. I just need to find something, anything that will stick. This was the only solution that worked for the longest period of time yet resulting in a quiet dog during the day. The trainer I have was recommended by Penn Vet & is basically the only one in the area. Other trainers are too far away to make home visits & I can't go to them (no car, no dogs allowed on public transit) I'd love to go Penn for a consultation but they only have hours in the middle of the day & the consultations are 4 hours long (makes no sense at all since they are so well known but not accommodating)

And I obviously didn't mean he was the worst dog ever. I wrote the post in the heat of my panic & worry that he'd swallow something like he has many times before & it would result in a $2,000 vet bill again or worse, as I said previously.

I got very upset with the property manager both yesterday & today--he absolutely got an earful from me. I was livid that they just decided to install something because the new tenant asked & they didn't let me know when. Also that they wouldn't let my dog walker put him in his crate, like they know what's best. Idiots. They should have waited until I was out of the apt. To top it off, stew barked at it all night so now I'm sure I won't be able to have one installed in the apt I am moving too. He's finally asleep on my lap :)