Puppy blues

[Jess]

Hi! I'm new on here. Just got our pup on Saturday.

I read it's normal but I hope this passes
I have what they call "puppy blues"
Feeling lots of anxiety and stomach hurts with regret about the dog
No idea why

I'm an animal lover
I have two small kids so maybe I'm worried about a new routine
No turning back now just really hoping this goes away soon

[Amy and Annabelle]

Puppies can try your patience even without small kids. I am retired and don't have small kids. They do require a lot of your time. Annie would cry if I left her to use the bathroom. She had separation anxiety in the beginning. There were days I asked what did I get myself into. There were certainly days my husband wanted me to take her back to the breeder. But he has less patience than I do. After a few months and you have settled into a routine and they are trained, they feel like a perfect part of your family. If you feel it is more than just "the blues" and really regret your decision, now is the time to return him/her. Not sure if your breeder would give any of your money back. I think a reputable breeder would though. Maybe an older rehome dog that is already trained and you know their personality would have worked better for your busy family. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

[Jess]

Thanks for the advice. Im gonna stick out it just was seeing if the feeling was normal....

[Moe]

OMG too funny. Every day for the first two weeks I would go to bed saying - I'm not sure I can do this, I may have to get rid of the dog tomorrow. The first week or so can be a huge adjustment but you will get through it. Take tons of pictures - they get big so fast. 

Read up on crate training. I had a lot of guilt putting the dog in the crate when I was home. Sometimes you just need a break and it helps with potty training. 

Good luck. 

[Jess]

Glad others feel this. I read that it was normal just didnt think i would get it.... Even today is better then yesterday.... I hold stress in my stomach so that can make it worse. Thanks for the reply :)

[Shoney & Ruby]

I think it is very normal. A puppy is a big responsibility. Give yourself a break for these normal feelings. Try to relax and let yourself really laugh at the puppy antics, let yourself really feel that little furry beast fall into a deep sleep into your lap. Watch your kids with the puppy and point out the funny things he/she does---teach your children to be gentle and kind and playful with the puppy and feel your heart fill with the love.

AND be sure to get some breaks from the puppy. 

Good luck--and let us know how you are feeling in a few days, a few weeks. a few months.

[Jess]

Thanks so much, I will take that advice! I guess i was stressing how the hard stuff and not enjoying the fun and easy stuff!

[Jessica]

Hey Jess! I'm also Jess, also from ontario, ALSO with two young kids (3yo boy and 6yo girl) and we've had Riley, our 11 week old f1b medium pup for just over two weeks now. We're probably neighbours and don't even know it yet ;-). I just thought I'd share my experience with a young puppy and family, maybe what I've found helpful will be helpful for you too.

I hear ya. My anxiety was through the roof before picking Riley up. We've always wanted a dog, my hubby and I both had dogs growing up, and the timing seemed right with my being in school full time, and most of my courses on-line.

I'm new at this too, but I found the toughest part was figuring out the dynamic between the puppy and the kids. Could I take my eyes off of them for two seconds without somone getting hurt or peeing on the floor? And meanwhile life has to continue--dinner needs to be made, laundry done, kids carted to school/daycare/gymnastics, husband works looooong days, and I still have essays to write! My daughter was scared that Riley was going to bite, so was running away from her and jumping on the furniture, causing the dog to chase her up the couch. My little one was playing too rough. Talk about puppy blues! It just seemed like a lot of responsibility had fallen on to my shoulders. 

But one day at a time. What I have found so helpful is setting really strict boundaries with the puppy. We have a baby gate off of our tiled back room that is completely puppy proof, that has access to the back yard. We use the baby gate while we're having meals or are upstairs with the kids. She whined the first few times but has gotten to like it back there. Doggie does not get full reign of the house, it's not safe for her (who knows where that piece of lego fell?!?) and bad for my piece of mind! The crate, her food, dog matt and toys are back there too. We've crated from day one and it's been very helpful. No puppy upstairs ever. 

We've started to flow into a routine, which is nice. I gotta say having young kids is very helpful with this, seeing as they thrive with routine too. Dog is put outside at 7 am, I join her with a coffee before I can even LOOK at anyone else in my household ;-). Lunches and backpacks are done night before. Breakfast for doggie and kids is served. Doggie back outside at eight. Everyone out the door at 8:30, doggie accompanies on her leash. You get the idea. I've really had to tighten everything up in order for Riley to get the puppy care she needs, and for the four of us to get to where we need to go to. I even FINALLY after years of saying I was going to, have started making menus for the week and grocery shopping accordingly so evenings could run a little smoother and I wasn't forever running to the store for a few last items. 

And I couldn't do it alone. EVERYONE, even the three year old, needed to step up and help and cooperate with what was being asked. Or Riley was going back to the breeder. I couldn't ask 17 times for someone to brush their teeth anymore. There wasn't time to do so. And while I don't expect the kids to 'raise' the dog, I did need more cooperation on their part.

As for Riley, she has doggie responsibilities too :-). I found Cesar Milan's advice really helpful when it came to incorporating a dog into a family. Calm Confident owner = calm confident puppy. The dog is scared, in a new place, trying to find her place. Basically he lacks confidence and doesn't know how to be a 'good dog'. By offering boundaries and encouragement you can teach him what you expect. And praise praise praise all the good things he does, and ignore all the naughty ;-). 

What a marvelous mother you are to bring a puppy into your home for your family to enjoy :-). Not many kids are that lucky. Sometimes I find anxiety is just another way of caring too much. 

Good Luck Jess, 

Jess

[Jess]

AWW Thanks so much for all of that! Where in Ontario are you? I have two girls! 18 months and 3!

My husband wanted to wait till they were older but said yes to the pup for me! Now he probably thinks im crazy lol

Even today I feel better then yesterday so I am having hope! I love animals so much and couldn't believe the guilt and regret I was feeling.... Kids/Babies are way harder but yet I was feeling this way..... I was almost embarrassed after all the stuff I told my husband in order to get this pup..... I remember having baby blues for 5 days so I will pretend this is the same thing minus the nursing lol

So nice to hear your story! Where did you get Riley? 

[Jessica]

Hey! I just sent you a friend request so I can give you all of Riley's details in a pm!

I can just imagine the conversation with the hubby, "I promise to feed it, and walk it, and clean it's poo!" lol!

Your kiddos are so little! You're super Mom! No wonder you were feeling the pressure :-). As you say, the puppy is easier then the kids. He's just a sweetie. I'm so in love with this mixed breed!

[UggaMugga]

This is sooo helpful. Thank you.
Bringing puppy home is like bringing a new baby home. You have to figure out how he/she is going to fit in.

[Jenny and Cooper]

Jess, I read part of your post to my husband because those were almost my exact same words. I was at the point of wanting to give him away during the first week, and even a few weeks after I still had my regrets. I cried and cried, and was just full of regrets. Regretted that I even put my name on the waiting list (waited for over 5 months). I remember my husband getting so upset because he couldn't believe the 180 degree change of heart. He said "It hasn't even been a week and you want to get rid of him already!"

Cooper is a year old now. I made it. Lol I made it through the blues. I couldn't possibly give him up because I knew no one would devote his/her time to him like I do. It wouldn't be fair to Cooper at all. I love him now and he is so much part of our family. :D. It gets easier, really it does! Having a routine is so helpful. Same nap time, same everything, at least until you get the hang of it.

Give it a little more time. It's just temporary and it's totally normal how you feel especially the first week!

[Jess]

AMAZING! Sorry that sounds mean but I was starting to think I was going crazy..... I couldn't believe my thoughts, stress and regrets.... My husband warned me that I might just be goal hungry and want what I don't have because I was always looking at doodles online and liking the way they looked.... he thinks im google crazy... He said yes after I explained how bad I wanted one..... Its been hard but im now being so strict with my training so it pays off.... When he does something right im so excited to praise him. Its the leading up to that part when i question things..... Honestly its not even the extra work that stresses me..... Its just this weird gut feeling I keep getting and I think its just change! Ugh so glad im not the only one.....