Encounter with Angry Woman who HATES Goldendoodle

[Discussing Labradoodles & Goldendoodles]

I apologize in advance for awful writing but I am enraged with what happened to me yesterday. I thought to share it and to see if other people have encountered any similar situations and what they did to deal with it.  

I am writing this to share a very strange experience with a very hateful woman I've had yesterday at the dog beach-Dunes Park at New Smyrna in FL.  What kind of person walks up to a stranger and starts a rampage about their dog's breed? I have a 5-month-old Goldendoodle puppy named Lucky, a pug, and a pomeranian. The pug and the pomeranian love the beach and so we thought it would be a nice way to introduce our puppy to the beach.

So here is EXACTLY what happened: I was minding my own business and playing in the ocean with my Pug and Pomeranian and trying to get my Goldendoodle to come into the water.  Along came this middle aged woman with a brown Husky. She asks if we had a Goldendoodle because he was really wet so it was hard to tell what he was.  I was having a hard time getting Lucky to come into the water because he was a little bit scared.   She says "Oh your dog probably doesn't have webbed feet and if he doesn't he won't like the water." She then commands me to look at his foot to look and he does have webbed feet.  And YES he has webbed feet!! Then she proceeds to tell me that Goldendoodles are not a breed. What I have is a mutt and with mutts they are very unpredictable. I said that he is an F1b Goldendoodle with 75% Poodle and 25% Golden Retriever and both breeds have webbed feet.  Then she says "people can call them whatever they want but at the end of the day your dog just isn't a breed and what you have is a mutt." I am pretty pissed at this point and wanted to leave but I let her finish because I didn't want to be rude. 

She goes on to tell me how unlike my dog, her dog is a SHOW dog from a well known Husky breeder with predictable traits.  Goldendoodles are not recognized by the AKC and they should NEVER be but that might change with the young generation.  She complains how the young generation is not well mannered (I'm in my late 20s btw). The young entitled generation, aka my generation, doesn't want to work (yes a common complaint against millennials *eye roll*).  We want a dog that doesn't shed and have that retriever sporty dog personality, but in the end, we don't have a breed.  People are trying to get Goldendoodles recognized by the AKC and trying to change traditions. Your generation is lazy and that's why you end up with mutts.

Why go up to a complete stranger and antagonize them when they are trying to have a nice day at the beach?  She finally tells me that she is a vet tech but proceeds on the tirade about mutts.  At that point, I finally got fed up and told her that what she said was offensive. I get no apologies and she becomes indignant. I told her to please leave.  She doesn't leave and sits 10 ft away from us and so I thought we should go.  As I get up to leave she tries to continue to yell at me she says "Opinions are like a******* and everyone has one."  

I've rescued all my dogs with the exception of the Goldendoodle, I felt kind of bad about that but this is plain cruel. I've also fostered of "mutts" from rescues but have NEVER received anything close to this kind of treatment!!  Have any of you dealt with this?  Thankfully I don't like in a small beach town and most of my neighbors love Lucky.  

What kind of psycho has this kind of serious discrimination against Goldendoodles? Why pick on a complete stranger? What should I do to prevent this from happening again?  I still want to go back to that beach because I am not going to let one person ruin a place I like. 

[Diane, Hurley and Sidney]

I must be missing something as I don't get the reference to 'mutt'.   I get it is being used as a derogatory term but I still don't get the reference or why people are so outraged about doodles they cannot keep their opinions to themselves.

Joyce, you go girl!!!   Good for you!!!  

[Di and Maddie]

OK - so you asked!  :) You gave this woman too much space in your head!!! ;)  Way too much space if you are using words like "enraged" and it was yesterday!  You can't out ugly someone like this. You sure can't change her mind about anything to do w/ dogs.  Who cares what kind of dog she has - what kind of dog you have and what anyone thinks of any of them or their feet or any of all that stuff you mention!?  Remember people like this are typically VERY unhappy people.  It takes so little to simply kill 'em w/ kindness.  Quick and easy response to someone like this is a big smile and say something like -" I know!  I call her my on purpose mutt!  Your dog sure is beautiful too! I've always loved huskies. Isn't it beautiful out today - hope you and your dogs enjoy it as much as we are!  Have fun!" Then turn and head in the other direction or whatever it takes to politely leave her behind. The trick is - you can't let people like this get under your skin. Why oh why would anyone want to let someone like this have that kind of power over them!? So much better to say a prayer for them because they sure need it and a warm smile from you might be the first one they've had in a very long time.  God may be using you - for that rude person's benefit - or - maybe God put them in your path for reasons having to do with you!  Never know!  Sure she was rude as can be - and sure it's inexcusable - but again - who knows what demons someone like that is battling - it's not for you to know - just be kind and move along.  Life is so much easier and less stressful if you handle these people like that. Whatever the case - it's such a waste of emotion and time to get all upset by rude people.  SO much easier to simply pray for them and be kind.  It can be very humbling as well as very freeing.  Plus - It's just some person on the beach - who cares what they think of your dog anyway?!  There will always be another rude person around the corner in all our lives - so there really is nothing any of us can do to prevent that.  You CAN prevent them taking more than just a brief moment of your time and not allow them any space in your head!  The really tough ones -  I have this little conversation in my head - and as arrogant as it sounds - it works wonders - I simply say - ha - who are you in my life to matter or have any control of my thoughts, feelings etc....(and remember - I said I'm saying this in my head - not out loud!!!) .and I swear I mentally picture myself doing a little dust off on my shoulder - GONE.  Not relative in my life.  God bless them - I'm outta here!!   Then LET IT GO.  Never let someone like that steal your joy when you are on the beach having fun w/ your babies!!!!  Are you kidding me?!?!?  No way - just don't allow it!  You can't prevent them but you can control how you handle it and stop them in their tracks. Promise once you get used to handling rude people like this it gets really easy and you'll be astounded at how adept you get at quickly handling them, getting out of their space and simply letting it go.  Good luck!!  Happy beach and doggie time!

[33bn7f8evnuyd]

You are SOOO right! I think I was just shocked that a stranger could be this rude. This is my first doodle and I've only had him for about a month and never received dog related prejudice.  Maybe if it was targeted specifically at me I would have handled it better. I really didn't know how to react.  I just didn't see it coming at a pleasant day at the beach. And I was really nice to her! The first thing I said to her is your husky is beautiful. I am usually a very friendly person. If people smile I smile back. After being that nice, her nasty comments drove my instinct to react by telling her she was being offense and immediately disengage.  Kill them with kindness in response to hostility would be something I could think of only in retrospect. It is impossible to think that someone you are nice to returns the favor by insulting you.  I think I just can't bring myself to being nice after that. She tried to further bait me in the end but I just left. 

[Debbie]

I truly like Di and Maddie's response.  This type of person really WANTS to rile you.  They WANT you to argue and jump into conflict.  Being kind and moving along will either make them feel a little better or it will deflate their mean intentions.  Either way, the freedom of letting go will be good for you.  I feel sorry for that lady.  I bet she is very lonely, unhappy and insecure and is acting out those emotions.  She did not want a discussion, as a discussion implies participation by two or more parties.  She just wanted to bully you.  You could not have "discussed" anything with her, so free yourself, be kind, and move along.  Look at it as a kindness to yourself to do so.

Besides, as the old saying goes, "you can't fix stupid".  So why even try?

[michele forberg]

According to everything I have read, most dogs qualify as mutts. Dogs were bred to have the traits that best suits their owners whether they are used for hunting or protection, etc. So, the doodles are no different than any other dog. Obviously, she has never read anything about the DNA testing available for dogs.
I would advise arming yourself with information but this person obviously wouldn't listen to anything you said.

Keep you chin up and teach Lucky the sic um command. LOL

[Curt]

I know a guy who "shows" English Bull Dogs who also told me my dog was a mutt.  I was beside myself over this as I took this personally.  But there were a couple of things that I had to do to put it all back in order.  1. I had to consider the source.  Who was a guy with a Bull Dog to tell me my dog was a mutt.  Bull Dogs have been bred to the point where they cannot conceive naturally nor deliver naturally.  2.  Bull Dogs are U G L Y, and Dudes are Beautiful.  That's it and that's all. 3.  If you believe in evolution (which I don't) then all dogs are derivatives of the wolf, therefore ALL dogs except wolfs are mutts. 4.  There are many dogs today that are recognized as "breeds" which would have been considered to be mutts at one time.  But the AKC waved their magic wand over them and Viola!, they are now breeds.  So, who is the AKC to say what is a Breed and what isn't. 5. (Last and best of all)  I was wounded when I took my golden doodle to the vet for her check up and discussed with him what the a$$ said and this is what he told me:  ANY dog mixed with a poodle is a better dog.  This man is a very well known and respected vet that I absolutely trust my dogs life with; no discussion.  His reason for this is this: the AKC has caused many "pure" bred dogs to be so "pure" that it causes all sorts of maladies with the dogs from hip displasia to sinus and breathing problems and conception and delivery problems.  He said he has seen dogs soooo messed up they were barely survivable and yet the AKC considered them as "pure breeds" while other dogs that were much healthier were not.  He said by mixing the breeds it takes a lot of the strain out of the breeds and makes for a much healthier dog.  THIS is an opinion I can respect, not that of some jerk who thinks he "pure bred" sick dog is a better dog.  I want to say that if people like Bull Dogs, good for them, just don't be dissing on my dog.  Or yours!  Doodles are awesome and you'll get so many more compliments about your dog than that lady would.  The fact is the doodles are exceptionally popular today and many owners of other breeds are just jealous.  Doodles may become their own breed some day but who cares.  Enjoy your pooch today like I do and don't care what other people think.  Mostly they'll love them too.  Can't BEGIN to tell you how many compliments my TWO doodles have gotten and how many you WILL get. Just wait and see.  THEN you won't care any more.

[JOHN & CHARLA HUTCHESON]

I would say "did you know that the breed was created to be a service dog for people who have allergies to dog hair" Google it!  Then walk away.  Stupid people who are ignorant don't deserve to be given the time of day.

John

[Diane Allison]

I agree you encountered a mentally ill person.  I don't believe there are a bunch of "Doodle haters" out there.  Go back to the beach, if you see this lady walk away and do not engage with her.  Don't most people you encounter think your doodle is adorable?  Don't let one person with a problem spoil your day. 

[33bn7f8evnuyd]

Thank you! And yes most people love my doodle :)

[Cindy]

I had a snooty friend call my dog a DESIGNER dog....she only owned purebreds. I have also had people ask me how much I paid for her....rude....I don't ask them how much they paid for their purebred. My vet said it strengthens their breed when you breed a golden retriever with a poodle and anything with poodle in it is smart and healthy and a great dog. But even with that said, frankly I don't care what other people say. ......here's a thought.....There were not thousands of purebreds put on this earth, if you think of it most all breeds were made from other breeds. God didn't just wake up one day and say Oh I think I'll put another purebred dog on earth...they all came from another breed. That is why the AKC and Westminster are ALWAYS adding new breeds to their register....think about it. 

[Sam&Bella]

Exactly Cindy!

[Kathryn Horton]

I'm so sorry you had to experience this. Let me tell you what it's about. I've been involved in AKC purebred dogs in conformation,obedience, herding, etc. I've been a purebred dog breeder for 30 years. I recently got an Australian Labradoodle and adore her. There were several reasons I got this breed. One of the reasons is I needed to leave the conformation world because it has become very negative and back biting. It's very political and unfair and it became Too much. Sadly what you've experienced is some of the snobbery that has taken over the purebred dog world. I've experienced the same mentality from "friends" in the purebred dog world. They say the same things you've heard this woman say. Exactly the same things. It's hurtful. They are so angry that "doodle breeders" charge more than they do for these dogs. But I've personally spent just as much money for "show prospects" that didn't turn out to be showable. I've been criticism for having a "doodle."
So, don't overthink it. It's how the majority of purebred dog breeders feel and they pass it onto their puppy buyers.. Just enjoy your dog and walk away from people like this.