cockapoo, goldendoodle or labradoodle for New England family with special needs?

[NewEnglandSara]

Hi All,

I am trying to tease out the differences between cockapoos, goldendoodles and labradoodles. I am usually a great researcher, but the information out there is daunting! I am also trying to determine if we should look for a puppy or a slightly older dog. I would welcome any insight. Here is our situation:

Family of five: mom, dad, teen girl, teen boy on the autism spectrum and 2nd grade boy. My husband grew up with dogs, but I have no experience with pets. My older two kids have some experience with pets at their dad's house, and my younger son has lots of good friends with dogs. My husband and the boys are very playful. I am a good caretaker, but I am not as fun as the boys. :-) The dog will be with me during the school-day (and sometimes through dinner) and then with the kids and my husband too some afternoons and all nights/weekends. I work mostly from home, but I will be able to take the dog for walks during the day.

I am looking for a dog that:

1) Won't bother our allergies too much. We have some cat and dander allergies in the family, but we have been okay around poodle mixes. I have been around cockapoos and labradoodles.....not a goldendoodle yet.

2) Will be kind and affectionate with my son on the autism spectrum, even if my younger son is more affectionate and even-keel. My son with ASD LOVES golden retrievers, so my heart strings are tugging a bit for a goldendoodle. On the flip side, I don't want to make my decision for that reason alone.

3) Will be okay with "just me" at home for much of the day, even though I will make every effort to bring him or her out to dog parks and playdates with friends who have dogs.

I am open to a slightly older puppy or "young adult" dog, but those are hard to come by. I am also struggling to find recommended breeders in New England that have any upcoming availability.

Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

Sara

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

The qualities that you are looking for, the temperament of the dog if you will, are not so much related to the particular breed mix as they are to the temperaments of the dog's parents and the way that the puppies are raised. There are no consistent personalities or characteristics that are present in every labradoodle, goldendoodle, or cockapoo. That is entirely going to depend on the breeder and the temperaments of the dogs she chooses to breed. 

Shedding and allergy-friendliness is also unrelated to which of these breed mixes you might choose. All of them have heavily shedding breeds in the mix, and when that's the case, there is no guarantee of anything regarding shedding and allergies. One doodle may bother your allergies and another may not, even if they came from the same litter. And you won;t know until the dog is at least a year old, because they go through coat changes, and a doodle puppy who didn't affect your allergies might very well do so as an adult. 

Puppies of any breed or mix are generally not really "kind and affectionate", lol. They are usually rambunctious and wild, they run, they jump, they tear things up, and they nip a LOT. They generally don't sit there and cuddle or snuggle, and most of them in fact dislike being hugged, squeezed, carried around, etc. Older dogs (not older puppies, lol)  are usually much more tolerant of these things, as well as more affectionate.

You should also know that any dog is going to bond most strongly to the person who cares for them on a daily basis: the person who feeds them, walks them, trains them, grooms them, spends the day with them, takes them to the vet, etc. In other words, this is going to be YOUR dog, not your children's dog. And he/she is going to want to sleep with you and spend time with you over any other family member, even though he/she may enjoy playing with the others and spending time with them. 

The members of this site put together a wonderful discussion intended exactly for new members such as yourself, who are looking for a doodle and need factual, unbiased information in order to make the best choice. Please read it, it will clarify a lot for you and give you a clearer picture of what to look for and what to expect as you make your decision:

 http://www.doodlekisses.com/forum/topics/considering-a-doodle-crowd...

Also, if you have not yet read What to Look for in a Breeder, please do, to help guide you in your search. 

[Lynda Kamrath]

Well, I have had experience with all types of doodles (labradoodle, goldendoodle, Jackapoo, sheepadoodle) and many poodles, and I have to say I think the goldendoodles are the very best dogs out there.  My F1b phantom goldendoodle was the most perfect dog I have ever had.  He was very mellow with very easy to groom coat.  When he passed away, I wanted another dog like him but my breeder was no longer breeding this specific dog as her stud had also passed away.  She had a new phantom poodle puppy but had to get all the testing done on him and her bitches.  He is now an adult and she uses him in several different breedings, and he was bred with a Bernese Mountain Dog and a couple Old English Sheepdogs this year.  I suppose some goldendoodles will be coming up in the future, but they are my favorite dogs (from my experience).  My sheepadoodle also has a beautiful coat and all my doodles have been non-shedding.  I guess I have been lucky.  Doodles are energetic, so that is a good reason for you to get out of the house and get some exercise and fresh air.  Now you will have the perfect excuse to do that.

[Beth & Cheddar]

We picked our goldendoodle boy because his parents were mellow family dogs and previous litters had similar temperaments. He was also raised inside a home and accustomed to kids and the usual sounds that come with that. He fit right into our family when we brought him home at 7.5 weeks old. Our boy definitely has a smart golden attitude and is super mellow, snuggly, and loving. He is very well behaved and stays that way as long as he gets his walk and some play time, as well as consistent training and boundaries. And he is only almost 6 months old. We are going to start training for therapy work next month because of how well behaved he is.

Based on my experience, the parents are the key, and then the way you raise them.

[Adina P]

Regarding #3, unless you have a very high energy doodle who needs to be working every single moment, I have no doubt your dog will be just fine with "just" you.  I would say dog parks and constantly play dates aren't a requirement.  The requirement is only that your dog get as much exercise as he needs to be able to mellow out in the house.  If you can do that alone, great.  If you both enjoy play dates with other dogs, and it helps him get his wiggles out better, great.

[Kaitee and Orwell]

I would like to second what Karen has said, and I would also keep in mind the size of dog you want for you and especially your son on the autism spectrum. 

Since this dog will become a service dog, also think about what tasks you want the dog to perform for your son and what size would make it easier on the dog to do those things. I'm on the autism spectrum (Asperger's) and while I haven't trained my labradoodle to be a service dog, I can say that I prefer larger dogs. In my opinion, they feel better when they try to calm you during an anxiety attack. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I don't think the OP intends for this dog to be a service dog. :)

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

I currently have two Australian labradoodles (multi-generational labradoodles from different breeders), and before them, I had an F1 goldendoodle (first generation of golden retriever bred to a poodle). I was a less experienced dog owner when we had Simon (the goldendoodle), so this likely influenced his behavior, but my two labradoodles were much easier to train than he was, and they have been more pleasant to have around. (Sorry, Simon!)

I would encourage you to do your diligence and figure out what the personalities are of the parent dogs, plus find a breeder who does extensive health testing and raises the puppies in his or her home -- with children, if possible.  

When you get your puppy (or adult dog), it's important for both you and your husband to go to training together (and include your three children), so that the dog has consistency in both homes.

You could run into trouble if you are the primary caretaker during the day, but then your dog stays elsewhere overnight. I'll give you an example: My daughter's dog has been staying with us this week, because she is out of town and her finance has the flu. Their dog is completely comfortable here at my house, but come evening, he starts to look for them and is very unsettled when it's bedtime and he realizes that he is going to need to sleep without them. 

There is a LOT to consider, and it's great that you are doing your research. You will get multiple perspectives on this forum, which will help you figure out what's right for you and your family. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I did not get the impression that the dog would be spending the night in a different household, but if that's the case, I agree that there could very well be trouble with a puppy who spends the day with one caregiver and then sleeps in a different household at night. Studies have been done on dogs who were intended to be "service dogs" for children, and one of the greatest obstacles to success for these dogs was the fact that the dog was expected to sleep with someone who was not the primary caregiver, even in the same household. This caused them great stress and anxiety. 

My impression from the original post was that the dog would be staying in the OP's home overnight and on weekends, just spending more time with her current DH and kids then, as they would be home from work/school. 

[Laurie, Wally & Charlotte]

The dog will be with me during the school-day (and sometimes through dinner) and then with the kids and my husband too some afternoons and all nights/weekends. I work mostly from home, but I will be able to take the dog for walks during the day.

Hmmmm. I read this originally to mean that the dog would be with the woman during the day, with the kids and husband some afternoons, and with them all nights and weekends. One scenario is obviously very different from the other! Upon rereading, though, I think you're right, Karen. I guess she would have written x-husband if they were in two separate homes. 

[NewEnglandSara]

Thank you so much for the great replies! Just to clarify, we all live in the same household. I just meant that I am home during the day, and then I am joined by my husband and kids after school and work let out. :-) I don't intend for the dog to be a service dog, but I would love find a dog that is happy to be a companion to my son on the spectrum and to all of us. I will continue to read and learn from all of the responses: thanks again!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

This may also be how I interpreted your allergy remarks.  In case I did interpret it correctly, being allergic to cats doesn't mean you are allergic to dogs. I have a son and daughter who are highly allergic to cats, horses, hamsters, but not to dogs.

[NewEnglandSara]

My husband is the main one who reacts to shedding dogs, but there are three of us in the house with cat and some dander allergies. We have not had issues with poodle mix dogs, so I am optimistic! :-)