Ava and the pathology report

[Stacy]

It wasn't what I was hoping for, which was for it to be nothing. And I'm kind of freaking out, but he is telling me that it should be curative with surgery and a 1cm margin. It's an extramedullary plasmacytoma. I'm starting to read up on them, and if you read about it there's some scary stuff. But it seems like oral EMP is not nearly as bad as if it wasn't in her mouth. The vet called this benign, but locally invasive. And he said that he's never seen one come back.

They're also extremely rare, but Golden Retrievers are over represented.  They're going to have to remove the canine on that side, and maybe an incisor. They won't know until they get in there and measure. But she doesn't need chemo or radiation or any of the things I was most worried about. And she isn't going to die.I just don't want her to have to have another surgery. They're going to have to take bone from her jaw, and they're talking about sending her home with a fentanyl patch and... sorry, this is just stream of consciousness babbling.

He said that it was good that I noticed while it was small and easier to remove than if it had gotten really big. But I would like to reverse to the part where I thought it was an abscess and she could have a dental and some antibiotics and be all better. 

Good grief! parenting is hard. I don't know how all of you with two legged children do it! All the worrying is so stressful!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I am so sorry for you and Ava.  This sounds very serious, but you mentioned the words curable, so I am hanging my hat on that.  Keep us updated.

[Stacy]

Thank you. I'll let you know how it goes. I expect everything to be fine. It's just that she's had such a hard life and she's such a good girl. It's horribly unfair that she can't just get to the good stuff without all the medical problems getting in the way. It breaks my heart. But she's tough. She's a trooper. She'll be okay, and in reality she'll probably do better with it than I do!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I'll second Nancy's comments. I'm so terribly sorry that you and Ava have to go through this, but...CURABLE is huge. Everything, really. And that's coming from someone whose heart dog has more than one disease that is not curable. :) 

As for the parenting is hard part, here's my favorite quote on that subject:

"To become a parent is to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body."

I feel like that applies to dog parents as well as human parents. As much as you would give your arm, your leg, even your life to keep them from pain, fear or harm, you can't. All you can do is be there with her and for her, which you are and always will be. She's going to be okay, Stacy. 

[Stacy]

Thanks Karen! Sometimes trying to be informed makes it worse. The extramedullary plasmacytoma doesn't sound so awful. But in the same articles they also talk about osseus plasmacytoma and that usually turns into multiple myeloma. Cancer is my achilles heel. I worked on the oncology unit for a year when I was still in school and it was just not within my capabilities to cope. But I keep reminding myself that this is not the same thing. It's just trying to convince myself that's tough. 

She really is my heart. I kind of think that dogs are the best part of humanity - and if we tried to be a little more like our dogs the world would be a better place.

She is going to be okay. I believe. I just hope she can understand why I keep torturing her and that she doesn't wish I would take her back to the place where she doesn't have to go to the vet all the time.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Trust me, she doesn't wish that she could be anywhere else other than with you.

[Stacy]

I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world!

[Amy and Annabelle]

Poor Ava, she has been through more than her share. I hope this is the last of it for her and she finally gets healthy and stays that way. I had a little schnauzer that had more than his share. Aside from the constant vet expense, it breaks your heart to see them hurting. You're a good mommy Stacy, Ava is lucky she has you to help her get through this.

[Stacy]

It really does break your heart (and your bank account) but we do the best we can for them and hope they understand. I think for this next surgery I will just take a book and plan to stay. Leaving her there and knowing she was afraid was really rough. And in the end it's only money. There's not enough money in the world to buy love like that.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Amen to that, and thank you, I needed to be reminded of that today. JD's health related costs are running me almost 20% of my income and today I was told that the cost of his current physical therapy treatments is going up by almost $100/month. 

[Stacy]

I'm so sorry Karen. That's really hard. Just because I say (and believe) that it's only money doesn't mean that it's not stressful when you're trying to figure out how to make it all work. Ava's first dental surgery was just over $1400 and I assume that the second one will be just as much or more (they're supposed to be sending me an estimate.) She's so worth it, and I don't begrudge her one dime, but it's not easy. I think that's what people don't get when they're asked if they're really really ready for the responsibility of a dog. Sometimes it means making sacrifices so they can have what they need. 

I know Ava isn't anywhere near JD, but I do think she's in the competition for most expensive free dog ever.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Not a competition either of them (or us) volunteered to participate in, lol. 

[Stacy]

Definitely not! We could also play how many veterinary specialists do you have? Hint: Jack is still winning, but Ava hasn't even lived here for a year! I know I went back to my original vet after the spay fiasco, but really I'm still in the market for a general practitioner. In the meantime she's seen the surgeon, the dentist, and the dermatologist. I love the specialists, but good lord they get paid for their specialty training. It was $90 to walk into the dentist's office. 

I'm just glad that we do seem to have all of the specialties readily available and I don't have to drive halfway across the state to get good care.