Advice needed

[Camus]

Thank you very much! I needed to hear it. Camus will stay with us. 

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

This is my opinion.  Camus is SIX years old, has been with your family for his entire life, loves and adores every member of your family, so, even though it is hard for you to give him attention, you still walk him with your little ones - I assume you have one of those fancy multiple kid strollers. Don't you think he's happier being loved by his forever family than switching to a new one? Perhaps you could structure some Camus-only time in - for a short time each day by each you and your husband, maybe at nap time or after the little one's bed time.  It would force you to take a break yourself.  They say that petting a dog is relaxing and good for YOUR stress. I do know my dogs do not know the difference between kid toys and their toys, so that is hard.  I made use of a baby gate and kiddie corral to keep 'stuff' separated - and I just didn't stress over the wrong toys getting chewed up - didn't like it but gave up worrying about it.  I would be concerned about socks etc, which was never my problem but waste baskets and rolls of toilet paper are - I have learned to use covered wastebaskets, putting a wastebasket on the back of the toilet, and shutting doors. Perhaps covered wastebaskets placed in convenient places, while not stylish, could be a toy, sock, whatever keeper during the day and emptied each night? I may be thinking of when my kids were young and how I would have worked some doggy time into my day and I may not understand your situation, but hope some reorganizing will help Camus stay with the family he so adores. I hope this helps. If you decide to try to re-home him, please do NOT use Craig's List, but contact a reputable rescue like IDOG or Doodle Rescue Collective to help you.  They have much better ways of screening potential adopters than you would.  I am in Southern California also and volunteer with the DRC.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Perhaps you could take Camus to a doggy day care a couple times a week or hire a dog walker for a mid-day walk.  Is there a nice middle or high schooler in your neighborhood that could come over  afternoons and play with Camus in the back yard?

[Melissa]

First off, hats off to you for taking care of twins and a dog all by yourself; I'm sure it has been overwhelming at times. Congrats on the new addition to the family as well.  You are not at fault to be having these feelings about Camus....dogs, especially goldendoodles, need a LOT of attention, training, discipline, exercise, grooming, one-on-one time with their owners. Ultimately, it comes down to the question "Is this life fulfilling enough for the dog?"  If you have tried everything you can to give him the attention he needs (enlisting friends and family to help out is an option if possible), and you  still feel that you can't take care of him the way he needs, then maybe it is time to look for a new home...as heartbreaking as it may be. Sometimes situations in life happen. I don't have children, my 3 dogs are my kids and they keep me VERY busy lol and I couldn't give them away, but I'm not in the same situation as you.  Just make sure you have exhausted all your options before you make this life changing decision.  

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

First of all, congratulations on the twins and new baby. How exciting for you!! My daughter is the mother of three (not as close in age as yours) so I have some idea of the challenges you're facing. My daughter also has two dogs and two cats, so chaos usually reigns at her house.

While I agree that doodles require a lot of attention, I think you may be setting the expectations for yourself a bit too high. The way you cared for Camus prior to the birth of your twins was the "ideal". People and pets rarely get (or even require) the ideal. Just because you can't give Camus the time and attention you were able to give him a few years ago does not mean that you are failing him. He's fed, he's exercised, he's played with, his medical needs are taken care of, and he's loved.

And even though it seems like it's forever, the infant years will pass quickly and your three kids will have a wonderful companion.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

You asked, so I'll be very honest. Most doodles (and their parent breeds) DO typically pick one person in the household who is their person, to whom the dog looks for guidance, reassurance and protection. They may like or even love everyone else in the household, as well as visitors, neighbors, etc., but if you could ask the dog "Who do you belong to?", the dog would be very certain about the answer, and it wouldn't be "everyone". A dog who belongs to everyone belongs to no one, and that's what can lead to behavioral issues. In doodle rescue, we often have dogs being rehomed for exactly the reasons you are considering it, and usually when it escalated one more step to the dog snapping at the kids or their friends. I can tell you that although it is difficult for the dog in the beginning, these dogs always adjust very quickly, end up in better situations and go on to live happy, well-adjusted lives. However, I would make a decision soon, because the older the dog, the harder the adjustment and the harder it is to find the right home. And as Nancy mentioned, PLEASE, for Camus's sake, rehome through a reputable and experienced rescue group who will carefully evaluate Camus to determine the right type of home for him, and then carefully screen adopters in ways that you aren't able to. Anything else is dangerous & unfair to Camus, and doesn't provide a safety net that will prevent his bouncing from home to home.