Shame cone recommendations and keeping a puppy calm?

[Binny P]

Hi all, 

Our pup is back home after his surgery. He is has a pretty long belly incision (similar to a spay, but with a more invasive surgery because it was an abdominal exploration, from what the vet told us). He is suppose to be on restricted activity for 10-14 days, with no running, jumping, or rough playing. They recommended that he be crated for the first 4 days at least, ideally longer, with only brief leashed trips outside to pee.

Well. We have been home for an hour and I have already called the vet's office in tears. Like big, ugly, losing-my-freaking s*** tears. How does anyone do this?

He has some exposure to being crated prior to this, but mostly only at night. He has been great in the crate at night prior to all of this. He was occasionally crated during the day for naps, but because he comes to the office with me, we haven't really used it much. He will go in and lay down in it on his own in the office sometimes. On the occasions when we have left him alone, he has been fine -- we pop him in, quietly leave, and he seems to just settle right down and sleep. 

I don't know what to do. He is losing his s*** in the crate, but when I let him out, of course he wants to wander around, jump, play, etc. Plus, the e-collar they put him in is floppy and too big so he trips over it. So not only am I worried about his incision, I am worried he will trip and hurt himself on the cone of shame. 

I don't know what to do or how we will manage 14 days like this. Any tricks or tips? Or do we just have to ride it out?

Also, related question, I am worried about potty breaks. He peed right before we came in the house, but then in the brief amount of time I tried to let him out of the crate to see if he would just lay down and nap, he immediately peed on the kitchen rug. Really unusual for him. Not that we haven't had potty accidents before, but they have been rare -- maybe 3-4 in the time we have had him -- and totally human error. 

Basically, I am just totally stressed. I am worried he is going to hurt himself, worried I am scarring him by trapping him in his crate and just letting him cry it out, worried that all his potty training (and training in general) has been undone and won't be re-doable because the next 14 days will introduce bad habits. I'm worried that he won't bond with us because now we are his evil captors who took him to a place where they cut into him and then we took him home and sucked all the joy out of life. And I am worried about his incision, because I haven't been able to even look at it since we got home because he has been such a worked up mess that trying to get him to lay still for a minute belly up is impossible. What if it is red and inflamed and I don't notice because I can't see him or if he has ripped all of it open? 

I'm a hot freaking mess and don't know what to do with myself or this sad/mad/hurting little guy. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I can tell you that the part about scarring him or his not bonding to you because of all this is absolutely a non-issue. You can forget about that. 

I would keep him tethered to you as much as possible. That way he can be out of the crate but can't run, jump, carry on, or hurt himself, and you can catch him before he has an accident. Tethering is just attaching him to you by hooking his leash to your belt.  Also, if you have him on a leash, he can't get away from you when you try to look at the incision. 

[Nga and Cinni]

We used a medical pet shirt which worked great for our two dogs after spaying/neutering. We got it from the vet who performed the surgery. It has snaps on the rear, which you can pull up and snap to the front when your dogs has to go potty. You can read, watch the video on www.medicalpetshirts.com. It is hard to find. Chewy has something similar to it.

[Stacy]

I did the exploratory abdominal surgery with Ava a few months ago. She came home split from one end to the other. I totally empathize with what you're going through right now. I was a hot mess too. 

The first thing to do is have a glass of wine and take a deep breath, because everything is going to be fine. It will be a long couple weeks, but it will be harder on you than on him. 

I also did the surgical shirt - but don't trust him for a second. It works well when supervised, but they can get their little noses up under the leg holes and mess with their incisions. I also used the comfy cone - and that worked for the most part but she was still kind of sneaky. I don't remember what happened (see? the trauma really does fade) but I ended up at Petsmart one night buying the biggest cone they made. She was not going to mess up that incision! 

You can never keep them as quiet as the vet seems to think you can. It's just not possible. Do the best you can. I agree with Karen - tether him to you so he can't run and jump. Crates are great, but if he's having a fit in there that isn't being quiet either. 

Potty training isn't ruined. Remember, he probably got IV fluids which will make him need to pee. He also had sleepy medicine, and a couple traumatic days. Ava had a couple accidents after her first surgery and it took me the longest time to figure out that the vet had given her steroids and the steroids had messed her up. 

This too will pass. It's only right now that it doesn't feel like it will!

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

Oh, I totally feel your worry pain, I would be (have been) the same. So sorry you have to go through this! You've some wonderful advice here, I will just say that you probably need to get out, too, for your own health. Settle him and/or hire a pet sitter, and go out and do something relaxing that you enjoy. When you're feeling better, he will pick up on that, and it will be good for you both.
We had to try a bunch of different cones, by the way, before finding the least imperfect one. I actually cut the length of one all around to customise it for her.. Also until he can be more active, I'd try to tire him out with mental stimulation games - hide the food, puzzles, etc. Check out Nina Ottoson games or you can make your own.
And yes, this is temporary - it will pass, you will bond, and have sweet, loving fun times. Best of luck to get through this more easily with him!!

[Binny P]

Thank you! This is so helpful (particularly the glass of wine bit!)

We are three days into a four day weekend and pretty sure that we both may lose it soon, but the farther we get away from the actual surgery, the more my "that cut down your middle is going to split open and your guts are going to fall on the floor!" I feel. 

We haven't had any more accidents, which is a relief. I am terrified of him having an accident in the crate, then laying/rolling in it, getting it all over his incision, and then us also not being able to bathe him! Thankfully, nothing so traumatic has occurred :) 

[Cindy and Olive (Ollie)]

OMG we are worry-twins! Sorry. LOL.
Digging in the crate is the "den" instinct, I believe! Totally normal. :-)
Meditation, wine, both? ;-)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Do you have a small room in your house where you could gate him to give him a break from the crate?  I think tethering or crating are the best options, but he will also need a place where he can move around a little but still be controlled.  If you keep up the potty schedule he was on you shouldn't ruin the progress you've made.

[Nicole and Teddy]

Oh Binny- I so feel your pain! As a first time dog mom with no 'real' kids, I was totally unprepared for how Teddy would impact my heart right away. They bring so much joy but that first year can be challenging with the worry/anxiety! I remember after Teddy got neutered, sitting on my kitchen floor with him, crying my eyes out, on the phone with the vet because the cone wasn't working and he could get to the stitches. But like everyone else has said, this too will pass. I will say that I wish I had gone the soft cone route or had known about the medical shirts- we were using the old school plastic cone and it was awful. I also rigged up some kind of underwear for him out of a t-shirt so he couldn't get at the stitches- but there are so many options out there that I wish I'd known about. We also were not that good about keeping him in the crate. For some reason, I could never fully get in board with the crate- so I often resorted to smaller spaces where there wasn't a ton of room but he could still move around more freely. If he hasn't played the 'find it' game you may want to introduce that- hide a treat somewhere and have him sniff it out. Teddy loves this game and the mental stimulation really does wear them out! You've also got a great support network here on DoodleKisses! Praying for you and your little guy! :)

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

When Desi was neutered, we ordered a softer, slightly flexible cone, but he was able to get around it. So we added an inflatable "donut" to keep the cone from moving too far down his neck. Still our little contortionist could reach the area. So we added my granddaughter's pajama bottoms to the mix. We had tried underpants, but he could get up the leg holes.

With Cori, she freaked out with any type of cone. We put her in a baby's onesie and that worked for her.

Good luck. This will soon be in your rear view mirror!

[Cathy Murphy]

You can also try a Kong that you stuff with healthy treat/kibble then freeze it (or a clean marrow bone).  I can't remember how old your pup is or if he had tummy troubles so don't want to recommend something that would upset his tummy.  (I used banana/peanut butter or yogurt with blueberries) Put that in the crate with him- my pup could even get at it with a cone on and it took a long time for him to finish it and it tired him out.  Short leash walks with lots of sniffing also seemed to settle my guy.  I would also give a Cone-break when he was contained in the kitchen with me and I could watch him or on the short walks on the leash.  Good luck!

[Dolly Dykhouse]

I so feel your pain/worry/stress...Henry was just neutered 9 days ago; we used a Kong inflatable collar and attached his flat collar tot him the inside to help keep it in place. He was a hot mess when we got him home, crying and whimpering and getting up and dashing across the room and throwing himself down over and over. I swear they should send US home with a Xanax and/or a bottle of wine! He was better the next day but still did the dashing from place to place and quickly sitting or throwing himself down, I'm sure that it was in relation to the stitches/pain. He only tried to lick at the stitches a time or two and a loud eh eh from me was enough to deter him. By day 3 we only put the collar on at night and by day 5 not even then, he had no interest in licking at it. I never needed to crate him as I am fortunate enough to be home and able to stay on top of him. We went to the park and let him play for a bit yesterday and he started racing around like his normal self so after 5 minutes it was on the leash and back home so he wouldn't over do it. His wound is less than 2" and completely healed, not even a scab. I know that I am really very fortunate that all went well and this is already behind us. Will keep you in our thoughts and prayers and quick healing!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Watching him is your best bet.  Tethering him to you or a chair leg right by you means he can't wander off and get into trouble. While you have him with you and you are watching him, you might be able to take the cone off and just correct if he goes for it.  Some dogs are insistent about bugging their incisions and some are not.