Help! Paralyzed with indecision when it comes to choosing a pup

[Lara Hanlon]

Hi! We've been looking at getting a dog for about a year. We want a small to mid-size dog (30lbs or so, shin-to-knee-ish height on me - I'm 5'8"), easy to train, good with kids, low-shedding, dog- and stranger-friendly, with a medium activity level and not too crazy. I know that the variance dog-to-dog within a specific breed can be wide and you could get two siblings from one litter that are polar opposites, so I'm definitely doing what is basically impossible - generalizing a breed and trying to predict a general adult temperament from a puppy. 

We have a friend who has a really sweet mini goldendoodle - just a perfect little guy - so he led us in that direction. We'd basically decided on that dog type and decided on a breeder (Cowpounder Kennels in SD - anyone have a dog from there?). The parents are health tested, they offer a health guarantee, they seem to be responsible in their breeding practices, etc. 

We'd planned on bringing the puppy home later this winter (i.e. late December or January) for a number of reasons - so we have plenty of time to prepare, we have time off from work/school, and we can pass that "puppy isolation" period where they can't walk around in public places in winter when we wouldn't be able to venture outside as much anyway (with lots and lots of plans to socialize!). 

However, my parents have a cockapoo (I hate that name!) and he is just THE BEST dog - calm and great with my girls and such a good listener. So I'd casually looked at them as well, even though they are smaller than what we ideally wanted. However, like I said - I know guaranteeing a dog that checks off all the "ideal" boxes is virtually impossible, so we're obviously willing to be flexible. We found a nearby breeder who has very few litters - they just had their first since April of last year and the pups will be ready to come home in a few weeks. We went and visited and just fell in love with one sweet girl (I tried to link a pic - we'll see if that worked, haha). 

So now I'm completely torn - stick with original plan and timeline, or move our timeline up and get a dog that is potentially much smaller than what we'd wanted? Compounding the problem is that I'm overthinking the goldendoodle, too. Here's my summary of what's running through my head - 

- Cockapoo - will probably only get to be about 16lbs, so much smaller than what we wanted, however, smaller = cheaper to feed (ha) and less poop to clean up and more portable, have heard stories of cockers being anxious and not kid-friendly and having issues with excited peeing. Possibly not as "sturdy" as we wanted with two kids?

- Mini Goldendoodle - could possibly get bigger than we wanted (we have another friend with a mini who is about 55lbs but was told it'd get 30-40lbs), some of the goldendoodles we've met have been INSANELY crazy/hyper and I've heard that a lot from other owners (especially regarding the first two years). 

Can you PLEASE help me think through this?!? haha. I know I'm way overthinking, but it's such a huge investment, money-wise for sure but more importantly time-wise, since we're talking a companion for the next 10-15 years!

[Christine]

Hi :)
Just a note about size. My mini goldendoodle was "supposed" to be 25-30 pounds. She turned out to be the runt of the litter, coming home at only 3 pounds. She is now 17 pounds, feisty, strong, and just totally awesome. She was not supposed to shed either. Well...she took over her retriever genes (keep in mind she is 75 percent poodle). She looks like a little red retriever and sheds. To say we LOVE her would be an understatement. She is the most intuitive, athletic, sweet, loving dog...also quite a watchdog if you ask me as she alerts if someone steps a toe on our property. So this is how I think of it. When you have a child, you don't know who they will take after, personality traits, etc. but you just love them so much and are so proud of them for who they are. I think you can't go wrong with any of those breeds you mention, of course I favor the golden doodles. Lol. But I think you will just love whatever you get in the end. I was one of those people who thought Nala would be that teddy bear looking goldendoodle who didn't shed. Couldn't have been more wrong. Don't mind vacuuming the hair one bit :)
Best of luck! I am sure you will be happy with whatever cutie you get.
Sincerely
Christine & Miss Nala

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

Just an additional thought or two-- I think one way to have the best shot at temperament is to spend some time with the parents, if that's possible, to get a first hand feel for their personalities, and also to have confidence in a breeder who knows and values the temperaments and health of their dogs  The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so to speak - or at least that's been my experience.  That said, I don't think you can go wrong with any of your choices --breed-wise --  if you've done your research.  But if you've had a good experience with your parents' cockapoo and this adorable little girl feels right for you and your children (and you've read over the breeder guidelines and you have confidence in this breeder), she might be a great choice. It's a tough decision.   My ALD has lab, poodle, and cocker - as do most ALDs.  He is often mistaken for a large cockapoo, a golden doodle, or a wheaten terrier. We have several wonderful cockapoos in our therapy dog program as well as doodles.

 

[Dolly Dykhouse]

Honestly I have to agree with everyone else and their opinions...you have to do what is right for you and your family and sometimes going with your gut is good because despite all the research you can do it is really a crapshoot as to how your puppy is compared to what you have read/researched/thought.

I have wanted a doodle for 10 years, every doodle I met was this incredible, intelligent, intuitive, gentle soul that made my heart expand. They were all also over the age of two and probably had a lot of training in combination with their personality. So I researched and waited for the right time and picked a breeder from the Doodlekisse's Premium Breeders list. Now, I love my boy Henry. who is now almost 9 months but he is not quite what I imagined from all the doodles I met. His second trainer likens him to a Portuguese Water Dog in temperment and personality; willful, very opportunistic in looking for trouble, a bit resentful when corrected in training and that beautiful eye contact? Well, he gives great stink eye! He's sweet and loving when he wants and a total brat at times too. Part of it is the age and part genetics. Would I trade him for any money in the world? No I wouldn't. He will settle more as he matures and his training (hundreds of hours at this point and a lot of money) has made a huge difference. As others have said, parents genetics play a big part but aren't a guaranteed blueprint of what you will get; Henry's parents are both under 50# and already my boy is 57 at 8.5 months!