How can DK help prevent owners from giving up their doodles?

[jamiegirl]

After seeing the doodles that are looking to be rehomed, I got to thinking how the owners must have felt or had to deal with to come to that decision. DK is wonderful for discussions but I wonder if there was a "support group" system that could offer time for the confused or troubled owners to consult with so that they don't have to resort to giving up their pets. I understand that training and behavior are the most common reasons for this. A major function of this "support system" could be to offer non-judgemental advice without making the owner feel that they or their dogs are inferior to the stellar stories that some of the other members have. The information that I get from the forums and discussions here are excellent but I have a feeling that someone who is already contemplating on giving up their pet would be less likely to post discussion forums because of lack of time and anonimity.

I don't know if this is even making sense to anyone else but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

Anybody else have an idea or opinion about this?

[Adrianne Matzkin]

I understand what you are saying. There have been a few negative comments that might make someone who is on the fence if they can 'handle' raising a Doodle fall off the fence towards rehoming. Those conversations should be about supporting that DP in making a decision that is not made on emotions only but reality. For those DP that have Doodles that have come from bad situations are very emotional and it is very understandable. I cannot imagine what they go through through on a daily basis due to someones irresponsible behavior towards their Doodle.
At the same time, if someone is on that fence because they don't have the 'perfect' doodle then 'talking' to us on DK will help in a positive way. We may be able to help them through the rough patches. If the issue is a lack of time or money, then unfortunately no talking can help.
What really needs to happen before anyone gets a doodle, they need to get a reality check as to what is truly involved in raising a pup that is smart, full of energy and sometimes very naughty. Time seems to be the number 1 reason that Doodles need a new home. No matter the reason, I am sure it heartbreaking for all involved.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Adrianne is correct..."not enough time" is the most common reason for giving up a doodle. Money may really be the issue, but people are reluctant to admit this. But a lot of people also give up doodles because of the mistaken "hypoallergenic" beliefs, and because of the hype. DK members could help a lot in preventing those problems by cutting back on the flag waving...yes, they are great dogs, but they are not right for everyone. Every time someone who isn't sure about getting a doodle because of family situations, etc., comes in here and asks for opinions, not one single person ever says "maybe you should wait". All you hear is "DO it, DO it!" We could help prevent rehoming before it happens by understanding and advising people that it isn't always the right time to get a dog, or a second dog, or this particular breed, or any dog, maybe. I cannot tell you the gorgeous doodles puppies who are looking for new homes because the owners have decided they are "not dog people."
Adrianne is also correct in this statement:
"What really needs to happen before anyone gets a doodle, they need to get a reality check as to what is truly involved in raising a pup that is smart, full of energy and sometimes very naughty."
Amen.
If someone wants to keep their dog, but needs help with behavior issues, that's a different matter, and I think there is a ton of good support & advice here for that. We have a lot of very dedicated owners who I'm sure would help. But I have to tell you, I have been involved in rescue for ten years now, two with doodle rescue, and I have rarely seen a dog given up for those reasons. In those cases, it has been older individuals with health problems who could not handle the dogs.

[Kim]

I totally agree with Karen and Jack - as we have had this discussion before.

To add to it - I believe there are a LOT of breeders who claim Doodles to be Hypoallergenic. I know that in our Classified section of our local paper, listed under pets, ALL of the Doodle breeders have "hypoallergenic" listed in their ad.

My Husband is severely allergic to dogs. We brought our "hypoallergenic" F1B Goldendoodle home, only to find out that she actually isn't "hypoallergenic." Non-shedding - I will give them. Apparently shedding or non shedding has nothing to do with my husbands allergies to dogs. My husband was diagnosed with Allergy induced Asthma, is now on a daily inhaler, and an inhaler for emergencies. We also had to pull up our carpet. Giving up our Allie was not even an option.

So I would advise anyone with allergies that it is a NECESSITY to go visit the puppy BEFORE you bring them home. I would also advise breeders to not mislead the public into believing these dogs are Hypoallergenic, because NO dog is really hypoallergenic.

Before the troubled owners have to resort to giving up their pets, they should explore ANY and ALL avenues prior to bringing them into their home.

Sorry to make this post all about allergies - because I know that wasn't the issue, but that is what hits close to home for me.

[Tamara & Giada]

You are right Karen, I have done this :( i guess because I put a LOT of thought into getting both of my dogs and it has been a great experiences for our whole family, so I think it would be that way for everyone. I sure will remember this the next time I advise!

[Adina P]

This is an excellent topic. As the administrator of DK I have been contacted (privately) twice by members who needed to rehome their doodle--I'll tell you about those experiences FIRST and then I'll post with my ideas.

One was a single woman who already had one doodle and recently purchased a second pup from the same breeder. After a couple of weeks she realized there was no way to make it work--financially things had taken a turn for the worse and she just didn't have the time for this new pup. We spoke on the phone about options such as returning to the breeder (the breeder would not help), IDOG, etc. Within a week or two she found someone locally who wanted a pup and it worked out great. She is now friends with the new owner and the new owner even babysat her doodle when she was on vacation.

The second time it was a family whose teenage doodle was incredibly high energy and difficult to control despite them having gone through a training program that was supposed to help. This dog probably had potential, but it was beyond their ability to deal with and was freaking out their kids, etc. They were heartbroken indeed. I also spoke to them over the phone and discussed options: a better training program (one I'm familiar with that has a trainer in their town), rehoming via breeder, IDOG, etc. The 'breeder' was not an option as they had bought from a 'family.' Not sure if they had looked into the training program or not. But when I last checked in with this person, it looked like a local rescue was evaluating the dog as a potential service dog for a special training program. So I think this will have a happy ending where this dog will have a job and bring joy and help to another.

Third experience is a local family (not on DK) with two doods who are 3 and 1 and they have become out-of-control and unruly and the family lacks the time to give them the exercise and training they need so they jump on visitors and scare their sons friends, they dig holes in the yard, they chew things up. They want to try to rehome one dog in hopes just keeping one will help. I have written back and forth with this family with suggestions, advice, etc. I have not heard back in a few weeks. I DON'T know if they have rehomed one or are working on things.

[Lynne Fowler-Oodles of Doodles]

The DRC has had several instances of people needing to rehome because of the reasons you outlined, Adina. We were able to work with 2 families to list on our Petfinder, we went through applications and presented thoughts to the owner who chose the adopters and everyone was happy. Two other instances were such that one person dropped a dog off at my house and one owner dropped the dog off at Jacquie's house without a second glance. In all 4, we were able to find new homes but the one's where the owners had imput and even kept the dog with them until suitable arrangements were found, seemed less stressful for the dog. I think everyone should always take the best interest of the dog into account. It makes a less stressed dog.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Let's address the issue of someone who already got the doodle, and now sees that they made a mistake. As Jamiegirl has stated it:
"I have a feeling that someone who is already contemplating on giving up their pet would be less likely to post discussion forums because of lack of time and anonimity."

I am one of those who would probably intimidate someone who was thinking of giving up their doodle, because I have very strong feelings about this, and because I live with the fallout of an unthinking person who bought a doodle puppy in a pet store and dumped him in a shelter a year later. But here's the reason I go off about this.
If someone came into a forum and said, "I need some help. I have made a mistake. I bought this wonderful dog without thinking, and now I can't keep him. I believed that he was hypoallergenic, and now my child is having severe allergy issues." (Or, I didn't realize how expensive it would be to have a dog, and I can't afford to keep him. Or, I lost my home and can't find an apartment that will take a big dog. Or, I am sick and can't take care of him. Or, I didn't know how much time & work it would take to keep him from destroying my home, and I don't know what to do. Etc) Bottom line, "I screwed up, and now my poor dog has to pay for it." I would have nothing but sympathy, and I would do anything in my power to help this person either keep their dog, or find a good permanent home for him.
But these people rarely admit that they made a mistake. The rehoming notices are usually very breezy, just as Amanda said, as if it is a sofa that no longer fits the decor. I have no sympathy at all for anyone whose pride is more important to them than the innocent doodle whose world they are about to turn upside down.
"Fido is a wonderful dog, but we are very busy with soccer practice, and he deserves a home where they have time for him."
How do you help someone like that? They aren't asking for help. The dog has nobody who is committed to him, and the number one thing a dog needs, after basic shelter, food, water, and vet care, is a mutual bond with at least one human being. Not a ten-acre yard, not a stay-at-home mommy, not a ten-mile run every day. (Although those would be nice, too.)
So if someone really does love their dog, say so and ask for help in keeping him. All the rest can be worked out. If they don't really love the dog, let's worry about helping the dog find someone who does.

[Adina P]

Not everyone is very wordy in their posts. And if someone joins solely for help in rehoming they may not put their hearts on their sleeves. I know some forum posters who readily share their emotions and always seem VERY happy or VERY upset no matter what...it is just their personality. Whereas I tend to run flat emotionally...as far as the way I post. I tend to try to keep my posts more logical and to the point and sometimes I feel bad when others respond with more warmth and understanding before the advice giving. We are all different in the way we express our thoughts...some reveal more emotions than others.

I think regardless of how someone shares their need to rehome their dog...we can't read into it publically or berate the person. I know for me...even if I am WRONG about something ... having a stranger tell me how wrong I am does nothing but make me mad. Between close friends...sometimes brutal honesty works...but with complete strangers it just never ever helps to make them feel bad. I have never seen any instance where it has been useful.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

We have talked about this before, and I completely agree with what you are saying. I'm not saying we should berate people; I'm just addressing the original discussion issue of giving a "support system" to owners who are on the fence about giving up a dog. My point is that we can easily give help & support to people who ask for it, but if they don't, other than directing them to IDOG, what can we do? I don't think it's a good idea to talk someone into keeping a dog when they really don't want the dog. Maybe I am misunderstanding the point of the discussion.

[Adina P]

I see what you're saying...that there isn't a way to help the 'person' if they don't ask for it.
Got it.
Neither of the people I tried to help asked for help in KEEPING the dog...for them it was a done deal because they didn't see a possibility. When talking to them I still approached it from the angle of "possibilities" and tried to feel out the idea of working to keep the dog. Just because there may have been something they haven't thought of. That's all that I mean...if we approach it from the attitude of 'have you considered...XYZ as solutions?" or "It sounds like you feel this is pretty hopeless and your dog won't be get what he needs if he stays with you...I have some ideas for solutions, may I share them with you?" -- perhaps 1 out of 10 owners might be open to some ideas.

[Mommy2Max]

This is a great topic. There was someone on a local doodle meetup group who is looking to rehome. I sent him a private email about coming to this site for information, advice and a possible rehome.

I went to the meetup site this morning to see if he responded either privately or publicly and who is the only person to reply to this gentlman - at least on the open forum? Adina! :)

~Danielle

[Adina P]

Ha! I just wrote to him last night =) I also sent a link to one of our members who knows someone in that area looking for a doodle.