Help Needed for Adoptee/Adopter Help Me Help This Owner/Dog

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

A few weeks ago I went to the shelter to rescue a 14 month old female doodle and met a wonderful man who arrived 2 minutes before me and was first then for adoption of LACEY. May I say he was wonderful, he so much wanted this dog, and would offer it a much better home than I ever could. It all seemed good.

We promised to keep in touch and we have. I have asked him to join us here or on DRC or DK but he wont for some reason??? I really wish he would.

He is having a really rough time with a few issues that I want to put out for advice.

There is no history. She was a stray found roped to a tree at an abandoned home in a bad part of town. She was spotted and reported by a concerned driver as she drove to work each morning. She was believed to be pregnant--but spay at the shelter. Her teeth were filed during the surgery! The pound said she was not a great candidate for a good adoption.

Lacey will not go out. She shakes, cowers, and will barely empty her bladder. She also will NOT go inside the home either. At this time he is picking her up and taking her out but it becomes and emotional ordeal for both of them. She is petrified of the leash so he stopped taking her out on the leash also. This did not remedy the situation.

With our last conversation I recommended puppy pads, poochie bells, and contacting a trainer. Any other ideas for any of you on the bathroom situation?

She does not know how to play. Even squeaky toys spook her. She makes poor social contact in the home--she presents most days in a catatonic stare..... but this to me seemed not unusual and may come around. She is............... great in the stores, in cars and he takes her to work. She likes people, especially women. She does exhibit submissive urination with both. She cowers on many situations. She could care less about other dogs. She does not interact or play with them but does not care if they are around.

Another point: He has bought clothes for her, 10 different types of food, new bed,and everything you can think of to welcome this dog into his home. Is he trying to hard? Leave her be for awhile and let her come around on her own time. He has expressed concerns about whether this adoption will work out.

It is just in his home where she is not happy. My opinion is that this new home where she feels safe, a place where she can finally get some much needed rest to recover from spay, the shelter, and the poor life she had before. She is exhausted and needs quiet time to recover and she will come around. Your opinion on this?

What do you think about the potty situation and her social state at home? I need you to help me help him. One great advice I was given is that she needs to be ignored for awhile, and he should just drop treats.

Anyone have a dog that just did not match with their home? Can this be resolved? Will she come around? Potty training issues? How long did it take your new foster or adopted dog to adjust?

Advice, Opinions, or kicks in the butt are welcomed.

Thanks Joanne

[fergie11]

This is a great little paragraph. I never thought about it! I wonder if that's one of the reasons my dogs are so well adjusted. I'm home all day with them - the longest I'm away from them usually is 4 hours. They watch me all day. They trust me with their lives. That makes me feel good to know I've been doing something right without even knowing it. Thanks.

[Kyoko]

I am reading the book called " Animals in Translation" written by Temple Grandin. She is an autistic woman, who was able to understand the view point of animals, who also developed humane procedure for the cows and pigs to be treated and handled in meat industories. If Lacey's dad is interested, he should read it. It opens up your eyes.
I hope years from now, we hear about inseparetable pair.......

[F, Calla & Luca]

Temple Grandin is a fascinating person and I admire her and her work. She has some different views on things relating to animals, too. She, as I'm sure you know, has written about what it's like to be autistic which offered unique insight.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Off-topic but I heard her speak once. It was such an inspiring speech and with all her "must do" routines and quirks. She talked about the cattle pens squeezing her and making her calm. I don't know if that type of thing would apply here for a dog.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Maybe for an autistic dog. But certainly infants like to be swaddled. I think in certain circumstances dogs might be comforted by a similar kind of thing. On the other hand, when Luca was a pup he hated to be physically restrained for grooming, etc. Just trying to hold him still seemed to bother him.

[Kyoko]

Charlie's trainer recommended me to read it. When she mentioned about the book, I remembered one professor recommended for me to read it years ago, too. Charlie's trainer, who knows that I work with autistic kids often tells me things like "if you did/said --blank blank --- to an autistic chid, what happens?" and I often end up answering "Cause melt down / distructions". Charlie's trainer relates how to train dogs with how to assist autistic child. She says that they are both non-verbal ( does not speak the way we do ) and does not read human social cues. Because they are non-verbal and does not read social cues, they have to control the environment to feel safe from unknown.( World is unknown to them since they cannot read social cue to predict.) Sorry, Joan for getting side tracked....But giving them simple cues and visuals, they can predict what may happens in near future, which helps them to re-gain confidence...So, what may seems like a welcoming atmosphere, could be causing more unpredictabilities....OK. I quit. It's just my thoughts.... ;-)

[F, Calla & Luca]

We are off topic but that is very interesting and maybe related in the end.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I agree.

[Adina P]

I totally agree that dogs need predictable outcomes and a predictable environment and a way tto know they have some control over what happens to them.

[F, Calla & Luca]

The trainer who worked with Luca, Kathy Santo, runs a program for autistic children locally. It's called Paws Four Autism. She brings dogs to school once a week. I observed one of these session and the students learned and loved working with the dog. Here is a recent short article on this: You have to click on the small picture on top, second from right
Paws Four Autism

[Adina P]

I think she's interesting. I started that book, but never finished it. I think she definitely has some useful things to say and has a gift of some excellent insight. I don't buy completely into the idea that because she is autistic she somehow totally 'gets' all animals' point of view. But she seems to have a helpful perspective and good observational skills.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Funny, I started that book and didn't finish it either. I don't know hat she totally "gets" all animals but her cattle pens have been humane and effective I think. What I have found most interesting is her insights into being an autistic person. I was particularly struck when she wrote about not reading novels, particularly dealing with romance and/or emotions because she couldn't "get" it.